Forever Rachel.

Knowing I can't be enough for you is hard. For five years, I've struggled with this reoccuring feeling. A feeling that makes me feel like I'm drowning. I look at you every day and know you're mine, but still have this little pain in the back of my heart, knowing that I fought my ass off to be able to say that. I wasn't your first choice. I was simply a back up option. A girl who looked at you like you had put the stars in the sky. For the past 5 years, I have continued to fight to look at you that same way, yet the look has evolved. I've watched you grow, and supported you through it all. I've picked your head up when you felt like you weren't enough. I've wiped tears away and kissed cuts. I've stayed up multiple nights screaming my head off at you trying to get you further in life. I've been your therapist when you needed advice, I've been your counselor when you needed guidance. And I've stayed by your side for 5 years, begging to be seen and noticed. I've fought for 5 years to make sure you were happy, that you were happy even if I wasn't at times. I always put you first. Even when you were angry and I had silent tears. I've tucked you into bed multiple times, held your hand at funerals, been your main supporter when no one else did. Ive done everything in my power to try to be enough for YOU. And I still don't feel enough....