tie my heartstrings

“A first time tattoo and in one of the more sensitive places you could get one? Bold moves all around here” Wolf shook his head with a low chuckle as he moved over to his station to begin setting it up while he thought for a moment. “Alright then…It is a 60 pound minimum for any tattoos so that’s what the price will be considering you’re thinking small.” He noted as he pulled out a pen and his sketch pad. “How about….this” He murmured as he quickly drew out a doodle.

“What can I say? I’m all about... going big or going home.” She definitely was not. But Caroline liked to think she was good enough at pretending she knew what the hell she was getting herself into. She hadn’t even known that getting a tattoo on her side was in the cards for today, but she was glad she hadn’t worn a dress, that’s for sure. Nodding her head, she stepped forward, glancing at the sketchpad before smiling. “That’s perfect. See, I knew you had good judgement,” Caroline let out a laugh before glancing up at the much taller man. 

“Ouch.” The bartender laughed. “To be fair, it sounds like the dick head deserved it. So he just upped and left without a word? And became a doctor? Sounds like an early midlife crisis if I ever did here one.” Gus leaned against the bar, an awkward laugh escaping his lips before looking up at the woman in front of him. “Alright, this is my worst one. So I was with my ex, Millie, for ten years and I proposed to her. We spent another year planning and putting together our wedding for her to leave me high and dry at the alter. I spent an entire year trying to get in touch with her for her to ghost. Her family.. well they were always twats anyway so they weren’t much help either and didn’t give me any answers.” a shrug of the shoulders quickly following his words “Can you beat that?”

She let out a laugh, shaking her head. The whole ordeal had begun to sound so ridiculous, she couldn’t help but just laugh. And to think that even after all of this, he was still the man that she loved. “Mhm, oh, and from what I’ve heard, he has quite the reputation, for sleeping around, that is.” Caroline’s eyes couldn’t help but widen at the mention of the name Millie. At first, she thought he could’ve been talking about anyone else, but the more he spoke, the more she realized how small of a world it actually was, and that her best friend clearly had some baggage of her own. “Millie? ...Please don’t tell me her last name is Walker.”

Hearing that Tudor needed people like Melody in his corner pulled a laughter from her stomach that she didn’t even know was feasible in her thin body. “Oh love… I’m no longer speaking to Tudor after what I’ve been told. I mean.. sure it isn’t my problem. But I’m a woman before anything and..” she bit her bottom lip as she attempted to fathom what it was like to be abandoned, though she didn’t have to try very hard. “My parents left me off with my grandmother when I was a child… and while leaving your child is far worse than leaving your significant other… I know what it feels like to wonder if it was something you did to cause it. Were you… not good enough… you lose sleep, you sometimes wish you were dead… and I can’t stomach knowing that I was friends with someone… who would abandon another human being.”

“Oh?” She had to admit, she was surprised to hear that. It wasn’t very often that people understood her anger towards him, many of their friends back home telling her that it had been too long and that she should’ve just forgiven him. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Melody, no kid deserves that.” Melody’s words hit harder than they should’ve. She though back for a brief moment to what the aftermath of Tudor leaving was like, clearing her throat before she got ahead of herself. “I never told anyone this, but... I did blame myself for him leaving. I wasn’t the same person that I used to be, all I really wanted was a family and a husband, and Tudor didn’t want any of that and for a long time, I convinced myself that I was the one who drove him away.”

Perhaps hearing those words from Caroline was the validation that she needed, for Diya found herself smiling slightly as she reached over to grab a tissue and dry her eyes. “Law is everything I wanted to do. I chose to specialize in commercial law, actually. I’ve always been interested in business and economics. But doing an MBA was not my cup of tea. I couldn’t see myself running my own business. But working closely with the people who have their own businesses, handling the legal side of things, that’s what I want to do once I graduate.” Now that she was in her final year of uni, it all seemed so real to her that it was also overwhelming. “Did you always know that you wanting to teach public speaking?” Diya asked, curiously, finally calming down and having the clarity she needed to work on this presentation of hers that she had been dreading. “The thing is, I knew that he’s not the guy for me. He’s… older and he’s rich. We’re so different, yet for a moment, I thought I could be the kind of girl he would want… not even knowing if that was the kind of girl he wanted. I was stupid, but also… desperate. I was desperate. I was desperate to have someone give me that validation I never got as a child, and it sucks.” Diya listened intently to what Caroline had to say, and she could not deny that her professor was right. She had to grow some thicker skin. “I guess you’re right about that, Caroline.” Diya admitted, cracking a small smile. “Truth is… I never had anyone to look up to, anyone to tell me what I wanted to hear. I admire you, Caroline… you’re so elegant and well-spoken. I always looked up to your confidence and the way you… the way you carried yourself in class- and outside of class. I’m sorry, it’s not my place to bring it up, but… I’m glad I got someone like you as my professor this semester.” And she meant what she said. “Now… that I’ve got the anxiety out of the way, I had a rough draft of my speech and I was wondering if you could look it over for me.” 

“That sounds really amazing, Diya.” She was glad that Diya knew what she wanted to do, knowing that she hadn’t been the same page at that age. “Truthfully? Not really. When I was your age I was really lost and I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do. I worked in the Parliament for a few years with the press secretary, but it wasn’t really what I wanted to do. I do like teaching though, I like to help people, maybe because I know how scary the world can be.” When she was 22, she was happily in love, unaware of her future. As bright as she was, she wanted more than anything to be happy, and was willing to give up a career for it. Caroline couldn’t help but feel silly even thinking about that part of herself. “I know what it’s like to want someone to give you that validation, that feeling that you’re doing everything right. But you have to find that for yourself first, Diya, it won’t matter what any guy tells you if you don’t think the same about yourself.” Perhaps a part of her was projecting her own experiences, but Caroline had found that seeking validation in a man, or anyone generally, wasn’t ever guaranteed. Truthfully, Diya reminded her of who she was in her early 20s, maybe just a little more innocent. “That means a lot to me, Diya, thank you.” She wasn’t entirely sure she’d even wanted to be a professor, but teaching this past semester had made all her concerns fade away, especially if it meant that she was able to help more students like Diya. “Oh of course, I’d be happy to.”

“Melody..” she started with a soft tone, smiling lightly as she relaxed her shoulders some, running her fingers through her hair. “Tudor and I have been friends for a long time, but I’m really close to Will… my grandmother works for the Harris family and so I had lunch with him about this whole thing..” the anger becoming apparent in her expression as she pursed her lips and sat down on the desk, completely disappointed in herself for her past actions. “Anyway, Will told me what Tudor did to you and I simply couldn’t… imagine what that felt like. He deserved to be slapped by you… and hell I would tell you to do it again.” she looked over to the woman again, holding her hand out. “Let this be the last time I ever do such a thing… again I’m so sorry.”

She’d only known Will briefly, the two crossing paths during his time in Oxford, so she couldn’t say too much about him. She shot Melody a smile, nodding her head. “I get it, I’m sure Tudor didn’t exactly want to tell everyone he knew about what happened between us, considering it doesn’t always paint him in the best light. I don’t blame you for wanting to be a good friend to him, he needs people like that in his life, we all do. I’m sure if I was in your shoes, I probably would’ve done the same thing.” She shrugged her shoulders, before shaking Melody’s hand. “And well... considering how many people he happens to know in Manchester, I don’t exactly want to alienate myself from half this town. Dinner sounds great, by the way.”

On a daily basis Wolf got all sorts of odd requests, but he had to say that people requesting him to pick out a tattoo for them was one of his least favorites. It was such a permanent request, true they could always be covered up, but he still never liked it. “You want me to pick out something to be permanently added to your body?” He raised a brow and shook his head. “I don’t know about that doll..what if you hate it, then you have to either pay more to have it covered or live with it” He noted

It was too late to back out now. Sure, for most people it would be easy, but Caroline had always had a pride problem. If she left now, she’d be cursing herself for chickening out in the days to come. Despite his obvious disagreement, she shrugged her shoulders. “Sure. You look like you have good judgement. I’m very good at telling that kind of thing.” She liked to think she was, anyways. “If I hate it, then I’ll just have a good story to tell if people ask about it. Just nothing... offense. I’m thinking I want it right above my rib cage, somewhere discreet.”

Amends needed to be made and Melody figured she would be the one to do them. Thankfully, she wasn’t added to the campus security list so that she was able to pay her ‘friend’ Professor Mckay a visit one more time. Only this time, she came with gifts in hands and an apology sitting on the tip of her tongue. With a light knock on the open door, she stepped inside and offered the other woman a weak smile. “Hey, before you even chew me out just take a moment to listen to me?” Slowly making her way over to the woman’s desk, she placed the three gift bags down, one with champagne, one with some chocolate and the other with a few Mexican snacks inside. “I was completely in the wrong for attacking you the way I did. I was still heated from the argument I’d had with Tudor and I hadn’t even properly asked what’d happened to cause you to hit him.” Her lips pursed as she looked down at her shoes and she let out a deep sigh, tilting her head to one side and shrugging gently. “I was completely in the wrong and you obviously don’t need to forgive me.. but let me buy you some dinner tonight?” // @carolinemckay​

She could immediately sense that based off the other woman’s body language that their interaction wasn’t going to be like last time. Contrary to popular opinion, Caroline wasn’t a violent person. She didn’t enjoy getting into conflict, as much as it enjoyed coming to her. “I can understand that, as someone who has gotten angry enough at him to lash out in front of dozens of people.” Being around Tudor had always made her more emotional, a slight on her part. She supposed if she were in the same situation, without knowing any context, she’d get just as mad. “It’s... it’s fine. I can tell you feel bad about it, and I don’t need to hold anymore grudges in this lifetime.” Nodding her head in agreeance, Carole got up from her desk again, “I don’t think I ever got your name though?”

Tudor knew better than to keep arguing with Caroline, for he now realized just how much he had screwed up. He knew now that he should have put her first, except he hadn’t done it back then. Why not? Because he was a selfish man who had only been thinking about himself. He could not deny that. Perhaps, he should have just sat her down and explained to her how he had wanted to move to Manchester. He should have expressed how he was feeling. His lack of commincation was his own doing, and he had feared that his words would have hurt her back then. But as it turns out, actions spoke louder than words and it was his actions that had hurt her. It was at that moment did Tudor finally understand just how much he had fucked up, and perhaps it was too late to fix what he had broken. For a man who fixed broken hearts for a living, he had to admit that he had broken her heart. He doubted that he could ever fix it, considering that she might never let him. But Tudor found himself finally realizing that everything that he had put above Caroline until now were all pointless. This job, the women, the attention… they were all nothing compared to her. If he could give up all of these things, if it meant that Caroline would forgive him and give him another chance, he was willing to do just that. If he could just go back in time and fix what he had broken, if he could just go back in time and tell his younger self not to leave her the way he did, if he could just go back in time and take her with him to Manchester, if he could just go back in time and stay in London… he would do whatever it took to make sure that he hadn’t ruined what they had. But instead, Tudor found himself regretting the past and trying to find the right words to say. As the tears streamed down his face, he found himself trembling as he managed to utter the words that he had been holding onto for the last ten years, words that might not mean much to her but they meant everything to him. “I still love you.” He finally choked out. “I never stopped loving you… Caroline.” 

The minute she’d stepped into his office, she’d wanted to cry. So badly Caroline wanted to physically show him the pain he’d put her through. And maybe she would’ve, if she was 24 again. The old Caroline would’ve cried and begged and pleaded, because there was something about Tudor that made the otherwise level-headed girl so indescribably weak and emotional. And looking back, she was ashamed of her past. She was ashamed that despite having such a bright future ahead of her, she would’ve given it up to be a housewife. Because it felt like the furthest thing from what she wanted right now. But even in this moment, it was taking a lot in Caroline to resist letting everything go. Maybe she was being prideful, but in her mind, she was telling herself that she deserved better. “What do you want me to say to that, Tud?” Caroline shook her head, taking a seat again and running her hands through her hair, trying to figure out the right words to say. “How am I supposed to believe anything that you tell me?” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “It’s not about love, it’s about respect. And you don’t respect me. You didn’t respect me enough to break with me in the first place. You didn’t respect me enough to even ask what I wanted. And maybe I didn’t respect myself enough back then to stand up for myself, but I do now.” She couldn’t stand to see him cry. At first it made her upset, blaming herself for it, but then it angered her. She was the one left hurt. She was the one that had to fix herself. Why on earth should she blame herself? Why should she feel guilty for his tears? Letting a scoff escape her lips, she looked him dead in the eye, a frown present on her face. “You don’t get to cry over me, Tudor. You lost that right a long time ago. You don’t get to shed a few tears after you’ve treated me like this and expect it to be that easy. And I don’t just mean what happened 10 years ago, I mean what happened on Halloween and what’s happening right now.”  

“I get it, just not the boyfriend part. Shitty ex girlfriends for me.” He laughed as he filled up the empty shot glass. “Let it all out. I’m sure we can compare shit ex stories. I’ll start.. this one isn’t too bad but I gotta start off light. I was with my ex and from what i remember everything was going great until I came home one day to her kicking me out.”

“Sounds like we have a lot in common already,” Caroline joked, rolling her eyes. “Okay... my ex-boyfriend left me in the middle of the night after years of being together, moved to Manchester and became a manwhore-slash-doctor. Oh, and I ran into him when he was drunk on Halloween and may or may not have slapped him,” she replied before downing a shot. “Please tell me you can beat that.” 

“Surprise!” Amelia exclaimed as she arrived at her best friend’s apartment, having not mentioned to Caroline that she had moved back to Manchester. “Okay, I know I should have called before showing up at your door like this, but I’ve been so caught up with moving into the house that I didn’t really get the chance to come see you until now. Please don’t be mad.” She had hoped to surprise her, but it was clear to the blonde that things were not great for her best friend just by the sight of things. “Hey, C, is everything alright?” Millie asked, her lips curling into a frown. // @carolinemckay​

“Millie!?” Suffice to say, Caroline was a bit surprised to see Amelia at her door, not even knowing that she was back in town. She supposed it wasn’t a bad thing though, especially considering that had happened since she’d moved to the city. “It’s fine, don’t worry, my mind has honestly been all over the place lately.” Opening up the door and letting her in. “I... ran into Tud a few weeks ago on Halloween.” Amelia was one of the few people that Caroline had ever explicitly mentioned Tudor to, mostly because the story had been embarassing enough without putting a name to it.

what is their vice? (wrath, greed, pride, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy)

“pride, definitely.”

what would their hogwarts house be?

“i think i would say gryffindor.”

did they graduate high school? if so did they attend college?

”yes to both high school and college.”

when was their first real relationship? how’d it go?

”my first real relationship was with... tudor. and i think we all know how that ended.”

have they ever broken someones heart? has someone broken theirs?

“yes, someone has broken my heart.”

have they ever been married? are they married?

Gus laughed at her words before lining up several shot glasses and filling them to the top. “On the house.” He winked as he placed the Sambuca back on the shelf behind him. “quick and easy so we can squeeze a few more drinks in you before we have to kick you out.” He smiled as he folded his arms across his chest. “You seem to be in a shit mood what’s happened?”

“how charming,” caroline let out a little laugh. “god, i don’t think i’ve ever actually been in a bar this late,” she shook her head, taking one shot and bringing it up to her lips. caroline waved her hand away at his question as she cleared her throat, “shitty ex-boyfriend drama. happen to know if there even any guys out there who aren’t complete assholes?”