cursed with blorbo brain

what doesn’t kill you makes your nervous system more sensitive for the rest of your life

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of gilded socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

what if the US adopted the UK tradition of the head of government resigning in disgrace as soon as people start getting mad at them. let’s try it just once and see what happens.

sorry bro I didn't hear your bit I got a little distracted reflecting upon my inadequacies

i said bawk tuah. like if she was a chicken

puts my elbows out like wings

oh yeah. that's pretty funny. sorry im just thinking about other shit

cluck on that thangg

some of the music i listen to is straight up bad

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner