Cardboard Nirvana

Dear Friends, This is one of the most important posts I have ever written, please read as your help is needed (and share to your network)

My 5 year old friend, Haider aka Lil’ Dude is currently in Shriners Hospital in Philadelphia, just having undergone a major surgery fusing his cervical spine to effectively save his life. At the get go, the chances of success were only 20% and with the skill of the surgical team, it worked!

Challenge: We realized today 11/07/15 that Lil’ Dude is in a Halo vest system that looks like the picture below and doesn't have clothes that would work with it. Philadelphia's brutal Winter is fast approaching and front closing, customized clothing is needed for him for everyday use and to keep him warm as he goes to and from his tiny studio apartment @ Temple to Shriners Hospital for procedures as he heals.

His amazing Mom, who brought him here alone from halfway around the globe for treatment, has no ability to shop or get clothes for him while he heals. Together this is where we come in to help Lil’ Haider out as he battles a rough recovery road ahead.

What’s needed immediately: 

Boy’s top/shirt clothing in Size 8, new, used…doesn’t matter. Everyday clothes and PJs are needed as well as one good coat.

Clothes need front closures that we can use outright, or which a team can modify to help.

Also needed are friends with sewing machines and skills to come over soon or help from a distance in modifying clothes to a front closure to send them along to me.

If you can’t mail clothes or help sew and have a few extra bucks to spare, I am not too proud to ask for an Amazon/Target, whatever delivery for my friend.

Lil’ Dude loves Minions! O’Shae the Octopus, Rabbits and other cool kids stuff.

Can you help? PM me for my address and thank you for your caring; it’s why I love you all.

Seriously, I love you all.

Nat

The most amazing thing about watching Pro Tour Gatecrash this past weekend was to realize that I was, at points, in the company of around 20,000 (give or take) Magic The Gathering players from around the world doing the same.  It’s grounding to recognize that in playing and loving this game as much as I do I am part of such a huge global community of players.  Magic in its 20 years is not only growing, but maturing with a huge global presence.  With the news of a 4thPro Tour bringing the number of PTQs up to 800, I find a certain comfort in continuing to do what I am doing insofar as I will find stability in the persistence in the game as well as the opportunity to really (given time, funds) play anywhere.

I wonder what the meta in Paris, Milan or Prague looks like compared to mine in Philadelphia?

Pro Tour Gatecrash and a weekend without any other commitments gave me the opportunity to really stop and watch players at the pro-level playing.  Consequently, I had the opportunity to compare HOW I am playing Magic to the way the crème de la crème plays in competitive environments.  Some of you reading this may simply pass this off with a “Duh!” as you’re well seasoned;  but for me, these were significant learnings.

Slow It Down:  That’s right:  slow my plays down. In not wanting to inconvenience anyone, or to take a match to time, I think I have been spending too much time courteously playing too fast. I should be emulating the Pros:

contemplating the board state,

analyzing what is on the field,

browsing graveyards (if necessary),

confirming hand counts and library card populations

Up until this point, I have been spending too much of my time calculating the best possible play out of what I potentially could deck, rather than playing what's in my hand against what's likely in my opponents.  While I can discern somewhat my opponents’ deck by the first couple of turns, I should spend more time really understanding how it likely works so that I am not only reactive, but pro-active.  At my local shop I have realized that the quick (and literal) snap down of cards is not really done in confidence of play, it’s done in aggression or even more likely knowing the mostly nice folks I play with: cultural convention. Not a single Pro match I watched had players snapping and slapping down cards like I have seen at the #FNMs and GPs I have been too.  Card presentation and play was smoother, more polite and professional. 

Keep It Neat: Normally I keep my cards tidy and clear, but to continue to play well, I need to be even neater and more succinct with my plays.  While I do run my mana in a column on my right hand side (to be honest: because: boobs) I need to make sure I am absolutely clear when tapping, attacking, blocking, laying equipment/enchantments or what have you.

Communicate More (and Less): I should probably not make as many assumptions as I do about play.  If I am not sure how my opponent built his pool enough to cast XYX then I should politely ask. If I am not 100% sure how an interaction works, I should open a discussion. Watching the Pros play, I witnessed a great deal of polite, professional play almost to the point where a lot of the game was fun, yet still transactional.  Conversely, I should respect that every player is different and some are not as chatty as others. I have been known to celebrate perfect combinations in the game by my opponent (Andrew I am lookin’ at you) even when they result in a loss on my behalf because: winning isn’t everything and because: awesome, legit awesome.

Know When To Hold Em:  The coverage this weekend was utterly enhanced by the Cards in Hand feature displayed on the screen.  As viewers we not only saw what was on the field, but what was in each players hands giving us far more information than they themselves had.  One thing I kept noticing was that whenever a Sphinx's Revelation was in a players hand, they were playing it much, much later than I would have given the board state.  I am not saying the card was used to different ends, they were all using it at different times than I would have. I need to better understand why. 

Also, the new player learning convention of “don’t play instants on your turn” was broken as often as it was not.  I need to use instants differently.

Me: remind me not to go to work on monday, okay?

Nathan: I will try

Me: are you going to work on monday?

Nathan: no

Nathan: it's president's day

Nathan: I'm planning to go to the park and plant some presidents

Nathan: I'm planning to dress up like a president and go door-to-door asking for votes

Nathan: I'm planning to decorate my president tree with bills

Nathan: I'm planning to honor all the presidents who died fighting for this country

Nathan: I'm planning to celebrate the death and rebirth of our president by dyeing eggs

Nathan: I'm planning to light candles and remember the president who only had enough support for one term miraculously lasting eight

Nathan: I'm planning to have a romantic dinner with my president

Last week for FNM exactly three minutes before my first opponent sat down to play me, I built my standard deck for the night. The deck,  complete with a sideboard that I can only describe so chaotic that it's on the D&D character alignment chart somewhere between Lawful and Neutral but winking flirtily at Evil.  I hadn't planned on going to FNM on account of Snowmageddon bearing down on us like syrup on blizzard french toast, but my need to wipe the slate of the week clean took me to my White-Blue-Black-Red-Green Rainbow Card Slinging Happy Place.

Thanks for coming to this from Twitter - I really appreciate it and appreciably can't communicate this there.

Myself and a few other good souls are helping a brand new player out; this person has very tight resources so a lot of what we take for granted is not accessible to them.

Immediately what I am trying to do is help them where I struggled most: accessing common/uncommon workhorse cards used in Standard deck builds and getting playsets of them.

Believe it or not, for GPATCITY I couldn't find a playset of Farseek or Arbor Elves in 5 of my local stores. The first time I cracked a pack was DKA and then really only played @ AVR so stuff I need to build anything standard legal that fell to M13, AVR, INN, DKA is still buy-on-demand for me.  RTR...not so much :)

Help me to build a list of workhorse cards that go in many common builds:  Cards such as: Oblivion Ring the aforementioned Farseeks, Pacifism, Unsummon, Murder etc. so that I can assemble them out of extras I have, or pop on and buy them for the whopping 3cents or ask others to help.

Thanks again for being awesome.  Kindly respond to me @cardboardnirvan on Twitter.

I lack the patience to wait for the microwave at work to heat up a bowl of tomato bisque  for lunch so I have amazed even myself in that I haven't chosen what bento box I will magically munch down for the Gatecrash pre-release bacchanalia of early morning play.  This amazement is only eclipsed by the fact that I will tolerate tepid soup over an additional 30 seconds of microwave action.

While I am a new player I confidently declare that I am moving from crap play to the bisque-tepid mediocrity of getting-the-hang-of-this play.  Gatecrash is the first set I have had the time to analyze in terms of mechanics, interactions and the presence of what awesome piece art is going to be attached to a mostly "meh" creature or ability (Serene Remembrance)  Rather than simply make notes about what to look for and what to look out for for personal use, I am sharing this useless information with you in Soliloquy form.  As noted in the title: it's all wrong and you should take none of it to heart unless you are triple threat trained and your voice is presently at least busking-worthy.

BOROS - don't play this.  Articulate aggro players will be soakin' BOROS up - high on whatever it is Frontline Medic is pushin' from behind the ApothecaryShield(tm); you'll be surrounded by so much Red & White you may find yourself wanting to rescind your Canookhood and take an oath against poutine consumption.  The mechanic is Battalion so they are going to need to double and treble up to get it off (on the field).  The savvy ones are going to scour their bentos for suitable unholy unions in GRUUL colours. If they can, they will be much tougher to manage.  If they have it in the box, they would be foolish not to drop Blind Obedience in a slot and keep Smite for smottin'.  Have removal/counters  for this Nirvie.  They are also going to be slingin' some costly Angels at you, never let them get that far. Boros Charm is so awesome it's going to find its way into marshmallow form and into a cereal box soon.  If they have Gideon - they are going to play him just to prove to their friends that the $40 dollar pre-order for him was totally worth it! If they play Zarichi Tiger, Gatecrashes own Trained Caracal,  don't be afraid to sing 80's tunes in response; it's only proper. If by some cosmic luck they drop  Aurelia's Fury - go to Game 2.  Play Guild Sticker Ante with these guys so you can collect them all!

"Uh, why you boys all wearing red shirts anyway?"

GRUUL - don't play this either. Denizens of Gruul are the less articulate aggro players wandering around trying to figure out of if "Borborygmos" is Scrabble-legal.  These guys can tap into a lot of good in green and a lot of fast and nasty in red.  Ask them if they think that's a field hockey stick that Foundry Street Denizen is holding, then declare attackers.  Like the bottom of the battalion #Boros players, they will be snappin' Skullcrack as often as they can at you - counter spell and steal their crackthunder!  Gruul also have easy access to some miming oozes-type things, don't let 'em reproduce, or pump in green what they already have. Warn them about the dangers of messing with The Mimeoplasm. Bloodrush is a great mechanic, but basically they are going to have to diminish their hands to make it work, and it only works until EoT. If they leverage the mechanic, they may short themselves on spells.  If they drop their Planeswalker, Domri Rade - sing an Oliver Twist medley in an Ethel Merman voice to take them off their game.  Watch out for Ground Assault - it's fully of DeathSurpreeeze!  Pit-Fight is Fight Bear without The Bear! Oh, and they have some tasty land destruction in Frenzied Tilling.  Gruul Charm is "meh"-nageable.

  "Kill them all, let Kerrigan sort them out."

SIMIC - Oh Fathom Mage, with your Sharon Osborne red hair, I adore you, but I ain't playin' ya.  The MTG math genii will be playing Simic as they see the advantages of the Evolve mechanic and if they can nuance it with a good sealed pull, they are going to give you a run for your money.  Watch out for too many 1-2 drop creatures, it means they don't fully get the mechanic; the rest of the build could be weak.  Watch out for their green access, their blue access and Master Biomancer.  They are going to push you around with surprise spells like Hydroform. If they have Nimbus Swimmer, you'll wish you were running a playset of them.  Hope they don't follow up the Swimmer with Zegana.  Zameck Guildmage you are going to want dead in a hurry. Seriously consider splashing green if your pool points to it.  Simic Charm with Zegana on the field = bad. If they play Biomass Mutation, wait until they pass priority and then start singing "Oh No!  There Goes Tokyo - Go Go Godzilla" before you counter the spell.  This is your hell-matchup; out-think them.

"Aw, blinker fluid is low."

ORZHOV - Try not to sing "Grim Grinnin' Ghosts"  or recite lines from The Godfather when playing against Orzhov. Vizkopa Guildmage is awesome, consider rolling your opponent for it if they have her in foil.  The Extort mechanic is surprisingly powerful and will need to be managed carefully, remember at this REL, you have to be all friendly.  If you were playing Orzhov, you would hold on to Merciless Eviction.  Deathpact Angel is a great card - something to counter on entry.  Don't be surprised to see honeypots tossed so that Executioner's Swing can be swung.

I was challenged to write about CFLs and an epic battle – here it is the first part.

“What the Sam Slippery High Hades isn’t going on here Andrew?” rumbled with a spray of sparkle out of the mouth of a guy with a slight limp in his beam and a graying peak.  This was Steve’s way of couching his displeasure at practically everything he came across that didn’t meet the Stevetonic Ideal that bounced about in the cave of his mind charged up semi-resonant. Beverage carts in coach on a red-eye were a more welcome disturbance than Steve voicing his opinion on pretty much anything but the time of day.

“This here is some TPM Stevie, actual TPM.  I am doing it whereas so far you have only been able to muster talking about it, contemplating it and correcting the solid techniques of others who routinely do it.”

“Good to know the entirety of the Geissler League can count on fine and luminous efficacy of folks like you for tidiness”  Steve glowered Pattonesque as he passed by Andrew for a quick glance and a nod of support.

“Get me a rag will ya?” Andrew asked his boorish cohort. “If we don’t get this fixed up, we could die out there and going grey, even if just our squad, will change the currents if we battle or alter the semamphore to the other circuits and squads.  You gonna risk that ole chap?”

Steve passed along a green shop rag and begrudgingly grabbed one for himself in order to lend a hand and fulfill his duty.  He was amongst the last of his long line, pins worn and tired. Vapour depleted and weary. Cold cathode and crackling. Holding on to a way of bright that was no longer as welcome in the world around him, no longer as efficient, somehow no longer right.

“Gotta be ready Stevie, gotta be ready.  They haven’t found us here yet.  For now we’re safe. For now we remain baffled up and secure down here only so far as we’re in good shape, we maintain the old order and control from those helical little bastards”

Steve knew what was coming and knew it best to just let it flow.

“Ever since Betty man…ever since Betty…” Andrew quivered, refresh rate dropping.

“She was lovely. Crisp white light like an illuminate cloud”

“Lovely, lovely…I warned her about her ballast Stevie.  I warned her it was going”.

“I know man, I know.  I know ya did man, I know ya did.  Not sure what she could have done though.”

“Took her out it did, she had to have known it was coming.  She was barely herself, barely bright”

Nothing much was said for hours as was the case every time Betty and the ballast came up.

Part 2

In this installment of what I am calling Practical Interviews With Potential EDH Commanders - AKA “SlightlyNutsLittleConversationsIHaveInMyMindWithCardsAsIBuild” I interview Norin the Wary for the top spot in the Command Zone. 

Note to Readers:  Norin the Wary was suggested for an interview by distinguished EDH enthusiast @hobbesq as a way, perhaps, of providing perspective in selecting my future Commanders from such a large, available field.  Norin has been my most difficult interview to date for reasons that are painfully obvious. 

Our interview (in my ever-addled from" meh to mediocre" MTG playing mind) was scheduled for Prime Material Plane: Philadelphia: 10am EST.  At 10:43 am I hear some rustling in the foyer and a squeak of the floorboards.  This is confirmed by my cat who does that radar dish ear thing that cats do when focusing on a sound.

"So how exactly do you think we are going to configure SCT?" Bill sipped his oily coffee deeply before delivering an impertinent look at Madeline.  Maddie flicked the ring of her cheap ceramic coffee cup, making a tinking noise, looked down into the swirling dregs of Bill's coffee and wondered if it will ever be viable to taste whole milk again.  The distinct blue of fully skimmed milk combining with the over-roasted cheapness of a hotel Arabica-blend lead surely to a dirty camp water cup of coffee.  It sucks.  But you need the caffeine.  You need the warmth in the morning. You always need the routine.   "Ya, Ya, that's one of the things we still need to figure out.  Business decision.  We'll get to it." "Madas, I am not even sure I fully comprehend what it was/is.  You know this is not my thing." If anyone was going to steal my thunder, if anyone was ever going to cast a dull pall of sticky gray peas porridge reality on anything I had to say it is sure to be William.  I hated him for it, every single moment we spoke.  I also realized that without him, order to my chaos, the very weave of the universe around us was bound to fray and float off into wherever the hell it chose. "We have a problem right?" "Ya, we have a problem"  William responded - his eyes a battleship grey of focus, peering through his sixteenth pair of utilitarian glasses for the year.  Whenever Bill angered, or had an epiphany, or was absent minded or his team lost there was a good chance his glasses would sympathetically destruct.  Bill, however, was efficient in nearly everything he did and always kept three or four spare pairs in his room, and one on his person. 

For a while he dated this aging model who tried to convince him that his eyewear, not his eyes, were the windows to his style soul.  No, not his soul, but his style soul.  She encouraged him to wear pricey, lightweight synthmetal frames with mood changing lenses.

The first time Bill pondered a problem, he beaded his eyes and vibrated his temple back and forth in concentration.  The frames flew off of his head, and onto the floor.  He wasn't paying attention to what had happened, as was often the case.

In this installment of what I am calling for today Practical Interviews With Potential EDH Commanders - AKA "SlightlyNutsLittleConversationsIHaveInMyMindWithCardsAsIBuild" I interview Lady Zhurong, Warrior Queen for the spot.

Me, “Thanks for coming in for an interview Lady Zhurong - as you know I am building my first EDH Deck and I am looking to find the best Commander for my style of play."

Lady Zhurong, “You're Late! Now hurry up with my manicure!”

Me, “So I see from your calling card that you have a CMC of 5.  Isn't that a bit heavy for a Commander who is 4/3 and has but a single ability?”

The absolute bullshit pillars of MTG strategy writing crumble and she's right:

Me, “Mimeoplasm – you’re a popular guy – glad you could come in to interview for the position of Commander of my EDH Deck”

Mimeoplasm, “Actually, if you don’t mind Miss Planeswalkies - it’s THE Mimeoplasm they refer to me as.  It’s like I’m the only one and I gets a special title and what not”

The Mimeoplasm, “Well, I is pretty sure I is what on account of me upbringing and what not, and it’s how I gots all me commanding experience”

I am hellbent with the determination of a pyroclastic badger begging for a deck building apocalypse edging towards Cardboard Nirvana to kick this blog off with my current passion d'magique: Commander (or EDH if you will).  I played my first game last night and am utterly hooked. 

Commander is, without a doubt - the most fun, most social, most story-telling (Yah...we'll bite into that cookie too later on) format in the game that I have come across in my short playing career.

A few weeks back having spent some quality time drilling standard decks in quiet moments on vacation to learn their mechanics and really more about the game overall, I got it in my head that I should give Commander a try.  Why not?  I barely have a rudimentary understanding of the game as it exists in standard - so why not jump in to a complex format that leverages practically every rules mechanic in the game? And is multiplayer.

It's how I do things.  All in on my way to Cardboard Nirvana.

Whee!

It's 3am, in a hotel room in Virginia Beach; my squeeze is snoring gingerly in bed next to me.  I can't sleep - too excited. 

We had a lovely vacation dinner and deciding that the evening was still young at 9ishy - we decided to make a trip to Tower of Games, a FLGS close to where we staying so that I could buy boosters.  You buy boosters everywhere you go right?

FNM was finishing up and a few folks who were done were playing Commander.  I couldn't help but sit down to watch;  the cardboard calls me to it like a moth to flame, ink on a page, french onion dip to a crunchy potato chip.

I sat down and the locals engaged me in some friendly player banter.  I immediately noticed that the play was casual - no pressure, fun.  I was most definitely going to do this so I did the next logical thing: bought sleeves and a deck box intent on filling them with a good old army.  

The delta between my sleeve and box collecting and MTG card collecting is really not that wide; this is disconcerting now that I think about it.

Returning to the hotel I managed an hour or two of sleep before waking up to a whirring mind and a compulsion to seek out popcorn flavored Jelly Bellys and figure out how to build a Commander Deck.  Since there was no conceivable way I could get Jelly Bellys at 3am without significant effort, I started searching for Commanders.

In my long past midnight bleary dreary the interviews began.  The first Legendary candidate to show up to the interview office of my mind, illuminated by screenglow was Treva, the Renewer - Dragon Legend

Me, " Thanks Treva for coming in for an interview - have a seat, err...perch...errr...you're a dragon - have whatever you want."

Treva, "Thanks Ma'am - I appreciate you considering me for Commander for your first Army."

Me, "Is that Brahms I hear?"

Treva, "Mahler actually."

Me, "You have a soundtrack?"

Treva, "Helps manage the wingbeat in a tempo game"

(looking over at the clock: 3:26am)

Me, "Well then, tell me about your qualifications"

Treva, "As you can see from my oracle text, I am well qualified as a Commander.  I'd first like to point out that the format originated as Elder Dragon Highlander and I am a subtype of Dragon; this should count for something"

Me, "Yes, yes indeed - it is known that Dragons are excellent Commanders"

Jhiqui, "It is known Cardleesi"

Treva, "In addition, if you take a moment to peruse my oracle text - you'll see that I offer a great ability that, with scrupulous mana management, will increase your life count and staunch wounds when the battle gets rough"

Me, "Incredibly handy Treva - that's a nice ability for a new player like me and at a 6/6 you're bound to do some damage"

Treva, "Yes Ma'am.  I am also a white knight sort of Dragons."

Me, "I didn't see "Knight" as a subtype"

Treva, "They ran out of space on the line, 'Legendary Creature - Dragon' - takes up a lot of space"

(Treva boomed like the tympanies in his soundtrack on uttering "Dragon" again)

Me, "I do see something that concerns me - you're a three color card"

Treva, "Versatility!"

Me, "I am not sure I can finesse and finagle 3 colors in a hundred card deck yet"

Treva, "Well it's only THREE colors"

I looked away for a moment...tabbed to a work email and a quick glance at Reddit.

Treva, "Um...I also do childrens birthday parties and come with my own Puff costume and sealing wax."