¡DIME QUE NO!

I was walking of out of Slam Dunk Festival the other weekend, mildly dehydrated and slick with the layers of sun tan notion from throughout the day, when this dude who was clearly on some kind of substance, points at me and shouts (a bit slack jawed), ‘maaaaate, I can see your purple aura!’

I’ve had worse things shouted at me in my life, and given I had pretty much been on my feet for 8 hours, the only thing I could muster in response was, ‘whoa! Thanks.’

To which he then responds, ‘yeeeeah man, I can see it! Are you Dutch? It’s the purple aura of a Dutchman!’

How bad must the rest of the songs have been for 6-TikTok-Shorts-In-3-Minutes to have won?

HUMPTY-DUMPTY, THE RAVING EGG

(After hearing the new Scooter single, I just had tuh!

“Are you going to eat all of that sandwich?”

Apparently I was able to reach in to a dusty part of my mind and pull out a load of semi-poetic nonsense for some Valentines nonsense, influenced by some of the utter bonkersness of some of the vintage stuff I’ve found over the last few days.

The efforts: