I can't get myself out of bed.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@captainscubadiver
I can't get myself out of bed.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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βShe loves deeply, regardless of the love she gets in return, and it is both her greatest strength and her biggest weakness.β
β N.R. Hart
graduated with 6 degrees yesterday π€β€οΈ

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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missionary so i can claw at her back while she fucks the thoughts out of my head
via
I need comfort but I don't know where from
"I did more with the pain you caused me than you did with the love that I gave to you."

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acrylic sketch
Nothing hurts more than remembering how it felt before everything broke
βIn a sense, I'm the one who ruined me: I did it myself.β
β Haruki Murakami
so tell me, am i a home or a shelter till you find one?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
I think whatβs been sitting with me is this quiet, aching realization that you can build an entire life that looks stable, even loving, and still feel like you are only halfway inside it. Like you chose the version of your life that would not break you, that would not ruin you, but in doing that you left something essential behind.
There is a kind of emptiness that comes from that. Not loud, not dramatic, just constant. A low hum under everything. The awareness that part of you exists somewhere else, still turned toward someone you cannot have, or maybe never truly had in the first place. And no matter how much time passes, it does not disappear. It softens, but it stays.
And I think what hurts the most is understanding why. Knowing that this came from survival. From the knowledge that you would not make it through another ending like that. So you chose something safer. Something steadier. You built a life you could live in without falling apart.
But it feels like a half-life. Like you split yourself in two and only one version was allowed to keep going. The other stayed behind, still full of wanting, still unfinished, still waiting in a place you cannot return to without risking everything.