A keyboard was being set in front of a camera, humming a soft tune to himself. A tingling formed in his chest pulsed outwards to his fingertips. It was a familiar feeling, a feeling of excitement and anxiety that came with that stage. This stage was a bit different as the audience wouldn't view the performance until later, but it was still one that he would put his all into. Clicking record on the camera he sat down to allow his slight fingers play the keys.
"Sun is filling up the room and I can I hear you dreaming,Ā do you feel the way i doĀ right now? IĀ wish we would just give upĀ cause the best part is falling...Ā call it anything but love.. And I willĀ make sureĀ to keep my distance.. Say I love youĀ when you're not listeningĀ and how longĀ can we keep this up, up, up?"
In his mind thoughts flashed back to instances with his love. Memories that painted and colored in his voice. He recalled each instance of waking up next to him and sweetly taking in the scents that filled their company. Often the smell was of sweat and faintly of paint and coffee from the two of them. Dacian weaving his fingers through the hair on Eden's chest and the trail it made down his torso. Feeling the raise and fall of his lungs and the faint pulse of his heart beneath layers of flesh and bone. Something so intimately placed in his life, so unguarded, unlike how he really was. Dacian would nuzzle against his shoulder, leaving many small pecks and kisses against it. The emotions in his heart bursting out through these small actions but the words hidden in his throat.Ā
He'd sometimes wake him with these morning affections; upon doing so Dacian would smile. Rolling onto him, straddling, kissing, laughing... All these things filling his heart more and rocking his nerves. Eden would adapt to it, roll back onto him to prompt more pressuring affection that would quickly muddle with the feelings of attraction. The most he could do to express himself to Eden... The desire to be with him. The burning and stinging sensation in his gut each time the slightest affection was shown to him.
It didn't feel fair to watch him get out of bed to get ready for work or class... Having giving into each need Eden had to the most he could but.... Left feeling soĀ unfulfilledĀ himself.Ā
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"Stop saying that!" Dacian spat in a voice full of frustration. "Why does it always have to end like that? Why do you insist on me just leaving? Is that what you want?"
Why did Eden always make it like this... The moment he'd try to address a problem in their relationship he'd tell him to leave. Why did that have to be the solution? Why couldn't they just work on the problem?
Dacian could almost feel tears of frustration seeping from his eyes. Maybe they should if that's always what it comes down to...
"You know what? Fine!" He heaved out in such a broken down manner, not bearing to look at Eden's face as he headed to the drawer of his things grabbing a backpack and shoving clothes into it. His heart felt heavy with the weight of what he was doing was looming in his head and heart. The tears began to fall as he put his things away, grabbing everything he needed for the night before rushing for the door.
"I'll come back for my things tomorrow." Without even giving him a chance to respond Dacian left, slamming the door behind him.
His eyes were full of tears and muffled sobs passed his lips and into a scarf. He barely made it to the bottom of the stairs before sitting on the step, crying into the scarf and looked up, feeling as if he had made such a huge mistake. Dacian wanted to return to the arms that held him and made him feel protected.
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