way past asking permission

Keep writing and keep being awesome.

He stayed silent for a couple of more minutes, obviously chewing on his next words. He didn’t know how to phrase them without sounding – accusing. Or overly hopeful, which might make Steve feel guilty, too. He also didn’t want to push. He just needed to know for sure because it looked like his wildest, most unrealistic dreams would come true and he’d experienced far too much shit to trust this.

           “Are you –” He swallowed thickly, eyes trained on the tree above them.             “Do you want to stay?” The forever hung unspoken in the air. 

Because sure, Shuri and the absolutely splendid Wakandan physicians could make him healthy: no cardiac defect, scoliosis, asthma, bad eyes and stomach and so on. But he would still stay a regular human being. A small one, that is. No superheroing anymore. On the other hand, that didn’t mean he wanted to share this sort of farmer-life James kind of built up the last two years, even if he’d visited at least once a month and then stayed two or three days in his little home near the lake. James was a little afraid he wanted to return to – Brooklyn, maybe. It was his right to do so, but he doubted he could follow Steve.

Steve turned more towards Bucky so that he could see him,   see his face.   A small hand came to rest on Bucky’s cheek,  and a gentle thumb ran along the skin there,  letting Bucky know it was okay and he could take his time.

With Bucky’s words,  Steve took in a deep breath.    Of course,  was his initial reaction.   It was so easy to want to stay with Bucky,  be around him  always.   They had lost so much time together.   But Steve knew that staying meant there,  where Bucky had become comfortable and discovered a new version of himself.   Wakanda was the place that Bucky called home now,  in his quiet corner with his harvests and animals.

And to Steve,  Bucky was his home.   Not Brooklyn.   Not with The Avengers.   It was Bucky.

Omg ur still alive

alive and queuing replies

   ❝ It is okay, Bucky told me about that ❞ she gently pats his shoulder, a reassuring smile on her lips while looking up at him. The princess nods her head at his gratefulness ❝ you are a good friend ❞ she allows her arms to cross over her chest once again ❝ you are welcome Steve, but you both deserved this happiness in your lives. ❞

Steve chuckled softly,  and then a prideful smile crossed over his features at the compliment.   However,  at the next part,  something a little more pained came over his features.   There was a dull longing in his chest that had been present since he was recovered from the ice.   ❝I hope that we  really  get there one day.   And hey,  I think we’re on the right track now.❞

          “It really is not, there are trees, it’s green everywhere, and it’s fucking hot.             It’s totally like that one week in ‘44, when we had to walk fifty miles to blow             that Hydra facility up.”

He made a face when he remembered their reeking bodies after those week. The ice cold bath in that mountain lake had been heaven. Thank God they smelled a lot better now, too, thanks to the well-equipped public restroom. He spread one of the blankets beneath a big tree that protected them from the sun and lay down close to Steve. He, too, felt tired – not only physically, also mentally. Fighting after such a long time of peace had been hard;; and killing was killing, no matter if you faced a human being or some indefinable creatures from outer space.

He looked up to the tree crown, watching iridescent birds hop from branch to branch. He just wanted to close his eyes and doze off, but something felt wrong still. Eventually he sat up, reached for the metal arm and hit the hidden buttons that disconnected the nervous connections one by one until the arm felt just like the dead piece of metal it was. Then he took the arm off where Shuri had created a connection to the old shoulder joint that was still Hydra’s work. Sighing contently, he put the artificial limb aside and lay back down, wrapping his remaining blood and flesh arm around Steve, pulling him close.

             “… Steve?”

❝Oh god.   I’ll never forget that.   Must have been the hottest summer we were out there.   This is like a version of that that’s about one hundred times better.❞

Steve was settling into their little nest of a blanket.   Everything felt surreal.   Discussing those memories as they lay safe and sound after yet another battle.   Steve wasn’t sure how to accept it,  as flashes of that summer mixed with the memories of earlier that day.   Explosions,  carnage,  and sweat.   He was broken out of those thoughts when he felt Bucky move next to him.

He watched Bucky,  gave him a gentle smile when he put the arm aside.  Clearly,  he was able to rest better without the new robotic arm.   Steve gladly curled into the familiarity of Bucky.   The adrenaline,  the disbelief,  the memories,  and everything else that he had been experiencing was starting to fade away so that he could rest properly.

It was a little weird to get helped into his jacket, mainly because he, too, came from a century where he’d done exactly that for women, and to be on the receiving end – well. It didn’t hurt his masculinity because after everything he’d endured something so mundane would never make him feel unmanly, but it was a little odd. He offered Steve a smile either way and then zipped his jacket up. It wasn’t as hot as he thought it’d be.

            “Then try to stay alive. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I think I’d                miss your ugly mug with that fuzzy lumberjack beard covering half of                it.”

Steve nodded,  wearing a small smile.   ❝I'll try.❞   He agreed.   Because despite what it may have seemed like,  Steve didn’t take risks just to put himself in danger.

Have an essay on how much I love Steve.

Captain America is someone that I, personally, trust and look up to. He’s good for the sake of being good. He’s honest. He doesn’t give up on what he believes to be right. He never backs down. He understands. He fights for the weak. He fights for the strong. He’s a loyal friend. He’s sad, but he stays strong. He’s displaced, but he finds what he’s meant to be doing. I’ve felt a connection to this character since I first saw him in The Avengers and he became one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

Not only was his comic debut in 1940 the ORIGINAL Nazi punching, but he was created by two Jewish men in New York City,  who’s family back in Europe were losing their homes, their freedom, and their lives. The creation of this comic was a bold and deeply personal political statement. Since this comic came out, Captain America has has stood in opposition to tyranny, prejudice, and genocide.

The MCU chose to do an interesting depiction of him punching Hitler too.  Aside from that, the MCU’s Steve Rogers stood in opposition to bullying from the moment that he came on screen  --  even as a small, sick kid. From there on, Steve has continued to represent fighting for what he believes is right, even if it means breaking the rules. Even in Infinity War Steve managed to still represent the opposition of mass genocide.

Steve Rogers respects women. He was raised by his mother. One of my favorite scenes is when he smirks after Peggy punches that guy who was disrespectful toward her. He always treated Peggy as someone who was equal. He does the same for Natasha, and ends up becoming extremely close with her.  In CA:TFA, Steve personally picks the Howling Commandos and chooses an African-American and a Japanese-American. A lot of people have tried to say that Steve would be much more out of place in this post-Civil Rights world, which is complete bullshit. This points back to the fact that he was created by people who were being discriminated against themselves so why would someone they created be prejudice? Not to mention his black best friend Sam Wilson in both MCU and comics. And not to mention, I just think that he’s bisexual.

Steve’s history is inspiring. He was born in 1918  ( MCU canon )  to Irish immigrants in Brooklyn.  Steve’s dad died during World War I, before he was born ( or if you want to go the sad comic route, his dad was an abusive piece of shit that couldn’t keep a job because of his alcoholism and died of a heart attack or something ). It’s pretty amazing that Sarah Rogers raised a sick child by herself, during the Great Depression, none-the-less. Steve was lucky that she was a nurse.  Steve was sick and disabled and it’s surprising that he even survived.  On top of that, he was bullied.  Despite all of that,  Steve still always stood up for himself and for what he believed to be right.

This and this is what Steve’s neighborhood looked like when he was 18 years old. I find it extremely hard to believe that Steve and Bucky could do anything but sneak into baseball games and Coney Island.

When Steve was around 21,  he decided that he wanted to join the army because he thought that he could help people and he thought that it was the right thing to do. Steve was too small, too sick, disable, and he tried numerous times to join. He was chosen for the serum because he was "not a perfect soldier, but a good man”.  And also, bonus, Peggy Carter probably taught him to fight. Steve took part in one of the most brutal wars of all time. Being in special forces, he likely wasn’t spared any of horrors.

When Steve is recovered from the ice, two weeks pass and here he is, not only confused and isolated and probably suffering from PTSD ( the punching bag scene makes that seem likely ), Nick Fury tells him that the Tesseract is about to be used by another psycho who wants to rule over everyone just because he thinks he’s better.  THEN, come to find out that SHIELD  ( who’s actually HYDRA )  has been using the Tesseract to make weapons.

A deleted scene for The Avengers depicts Steve looking lost and isolated. And one of my favorite scenes in any movie is the Smithsonian scene in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Where over the loudspeaker, we hear about “bravery, honor, and sacrifice”. And in that scene we see the ideal vs the reality of what Steve has sacrificed. No one in the museum notices the barely disguised Steve Rogers, who has literally lost everything. Discovering that HYDRA was within SHIELD was likely the lowest blow yet.  Steve just continues to fight. He’s so strong.

As for Steve’s decision to oppose The Accords, he had already been faced with a time where he was limited to what he could do to help. After being injected with the serum, he was reduced to being a USO show used to sell war bonds, for propaganda, and to encourage patriotism ( even after his “death” ). And given the war that he fought in, I imagine that he’s seen the consequences of America waiting to fight until absolutely necessary to protect American interests. Steve knows what it’s like to have to  rebel in order to help.

Steve Rogers inspires me to fight for what I believe is right, to continue on through suffering, and to be a good person. And I thank him, his creators, all the writers that have done him justice, and Chris Evans for the beautiful portrayal that we have received over movies, tv, and of course, comics.

To finish things off, here are some of my favorite MCU Cap quotes:

❝You start running they’ll never let you stop. You stand up, push back. Can’t say no forever right?❞

❝I know I’m asking a lot. But the price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.❞

❝I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.❞

❝My faith is in people, I guess. Individuals. And I’m happy to say for the most part, they haven’t let me down. Which is why I can’t let them down either.❞