fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Fellatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
-Hamlet, probably.

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oozey mess
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izzy's playlists!
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@capnsaltsquid
fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Fellatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
-Hamlet, probably.

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As I watch my ghostly TOTK sage companions whale ineffectively on a single gibdo, I find myself wishing for the hundredth time that their basic attacks did elemental damage. Riju's swords should deal shock, Yunobo's boulder breaker should set opponents on fire, Tulin should be able to blow enemies off of cliffs, and Sidon's trident attack should get people wet.
At least then I wouldn't have to wait an hour for the four of them to take out a single gibdo or watch in embarrassment as everyone but Riju flails uselessly when confronted with a walking tree. A tree, for Hylia's sake. These sages are supposed to be the best of the best and only one of them can even mildly damage a shrub with an attitude.
Hyrule's Economy is Shit (Literally)
Hyrule as a country has many problems, such as:
Demise
Vaati
Ganon
Null
Ganondorf
Ganon (Again)
Ganon (Again Again)
Etc.
But, one issue that has remained unaddressed throughout the entirety of the LOZ canon and apocrypha is the lack of a royal mint.
This is an amazing analysis; I love the idea of the Great Fairies as a federal reserve (they do set monetary policy of a sort after all). However, I feel like there are a couple of elements missing: outside trade, and Link himself.
Hyrule has no manufacturing capabilities. Large-scale forges and sawmills don't exist. That means that mass-processed goods (paper, printing equipment, construction supplies, etc) must be imported from overseas. While a foreign trading partner would be unlikely to accept rupees in exchange, Hyrule has other goods (raw ore, elixirs, medicinal plants) that it can exchange in kind.
There are a few individuals around the kingdom that produce such things, but none so prolific as Link. I will use my own in-game Link as a basis, and this fellow makes a habit of slaughtering every rare talus, white frox, lynel, and molduga in the game on every blood moon cycle, as well as mining every rare ore deposit.
With the monster parts cooked into elixirs, that nets Link an average of 37,000 rupees per blood moon. If we accept that the lunar cycle is a month, this means that Link contributes 440,000 rupees worth of goods to the Hylian economy every year, exceeding the total of every other trader and city and bringing the GDP much closer to the money supply.
Most of these goods wind up in the hands of Hyrule's traders, who can then exchange them with foreign trading partners for imported goods which they can then sell for rupees at a markup, bringing the economy into balance.
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
If you actually tried to hurt someone with that, you'd be arrested for 'assault with a dead weapon.'
always some new bullshit in the ocean
Why is it always orcas or dolphins
Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once
worry not βοΈ they're doing coke

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mechanic officially confirmed βGREATEST OF ALL TIMEβ, donβt @ me (from splatoon raiders interview)
EXCUSE ME THERE IS A PLANT THAT CAN MIMIC FAKE PLANTS?????
IT'S CALLED A BOQUILA TRIOFOLIOLATA AND IT'S FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN
IT APPARENTLY CAN MIMIC OTHER PLANTS AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE "oh cool man it must take it's genetic code and copy it or feel the roots or something like that!! :3"
AND THEN I READ AN ARTICLE ON IT AND THESE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS HIT ME LIKE A BUS
LIKE READ THIS SHIT
WHAT THE FUCK MOTHER NATURE
I went to find the article. It's fascinating.
In retrospect, consider the number 1 thing every grade-schooler knows about plants is they take in light, the idea they might be able to see should not wreck my shit as hard as it does
Living in a climate controlled biodome on Erid with a bunch of friendly rock creatures sounds lovely, actually. I probably wouldn't come back when the year was up.
Gold, Silver, and Bronze!π₯π₯π₯
Now as sisters and with a complex sibling dynamic.
did you know 24k gold is so soft you can scratch it with a fingernail? Because bronze knows
UC or ER?
HONESTLY THOUGH
THIS IS BOTH ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE
Urgent Care is for your "Oh no!" accidents.
Emergency Care is for your "Oh fuck!" accidents.
yeah okay ill reblog that!
I love this marketing campaign so much. Will never get tired of seeing it.

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tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)
SNIPER HOLY F****!!!!!
the crabs trying to find Mitch McConnell's rave and ending up at Lindsey Graham's
These days, it seems like this is how I find out about it when monsters die, and I'm ok with that.
About 5 months ago, I realized that playing Minecraft at my current base had gotten repetitive. I was on a transformed mycelium island, so there were no threats that I couldn't dispatch within seconds. I wasn't feeling inspired to do new builds, and I fell into a creative rut.
I decided it was time for a change. I took all my gear out of my ender chest and buried it on the island, than took off in a boat with only the clothes on my back to find new horizons.
My wanderings took me about 10000 blocks away from my base, where I found a badlands biome with a beautiful warm water lake and the most breathtaking lush cave system I've ever seen underneath. There's even a lost city further down for when I'm feeling more daring.
I'm going to set up a long term base here, with the goal of building a villager town with hanging gardens in the cave. I love the villager trading mechanics, but I never liked the idea of keeping them cooped up in a trading hall. I'm going for a balance that has them readily available for trading during the workday but allows them to roam freely in the mornings and evenings, as well as get a good night's sleep.
I've got the whole cave area I plan to develop lit up, and I pulled my server world into a single-player creative backup so I can experiment with various build styles. The video shows a spectator mode fly-through of the whole area. I'm really enjoying playing the game again, can't wait to try out some ideas!
finally learned how to use the compressed air stapler at work today and this whole time iβve been certain that learning how to use it will make me less afraid of it but unfortunately the exact opposite has occurred because that thing is about 200 times more terrifying when you know exactly how little force it actually takes on the trigger to send a sharp piece of metal rocketing out of it at mach speed. why the fuck do we have one with the safety taped down
I design industrial joining machines for a living, and as a safety feature they require two-handed actuation. Users started taping down the second trigger so they could use the machine one-handed, and sure enough it was only a matter of time before someone had an accident.
I then re-wrote the software to require both triggers to be released before another cycle could start, effectively disabling the tape-down hack. I have since been inundated with complaints from people who are desperate to crush their hands in a 1200 pound clamp to save a quarter second of effort.
Why are people like this?

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