Camille Mendoza

I totally forgot about 18 roses being the first set to be called immediately after my grand entrance so seconds after realizing this, I panicked, calmed myself for a bit, and panicked again. My mom asked me if we should skip that part already but I said no so we didn't. I think she already knew why I didn't want to skip it so, I think, she stared at me for a while and returned watching the video seconds after.. And boom, his name was called, and bam! not just my heart, but my whole body went crazy.

I don't know.. but I can't even look at him. I can't even stare at him for more than one second. Yes, even onscreen only. Is it because I'm still hurt? Is it because I still feel sad about what happened to us? I don't know.. or maybe I'm just making this a big deal. Probably.

So maybe I miss him (don't worry, I know I shouldn't). He's not totally a bad guy anyway, it's just that he has done more bad things than good ones to me. I am also aware that not everything was his fault. I know I got issues too. So maybe that's the reason why I miss him - maybe I'm still hoping that he could still change.. that maybe he could still treat me the way he treated me in the first place, that maybe he'll know my worth.

Would you believe someone who tells you he misses you but doesn't do anything to keep in touch?

Would you believe someone who has taken you for granted?

Would you believe someone who tells you they 'will' love you instead of just doing it?

Would you believe someone who has hurt you so many times before?

Would you believe someone who has treated you like a piece of crap?

Would you believe someone who has admitted of cheating on you before?

Would you believe someone who doesn't show but only tells you he's changed?

Are you going to do the same mistakes again?

Are you going to go crazy for someone who's not worth it again?

I easily get tired.

I usually don't care.

I'm usually nostalgic.

I find most animals cute (even the grossest ones).

I have privacy issues.

I love to eat.

I rarely talk.

I easily get irritated.

I find law subjects interesting.

I saw an online quiz a while ago and decided to answer it because I'm sort of going through issues now. And yes, the results were quite accurate. Here's mine. :)

Your view on yourself: Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

When I was younger, whenever I'd be given a peso or so, there's no doubt I'll be spending them with paper dolls. Gahd, I love paper dolls and now that there's a site that caters my interest, I want to share it with you if ever you'd want to dress up your own models as well. :)

Don't get me wrong, Looklet is not necessarily an online paper-doll-making site. It's just that, I look at them as paper dolls and not as models. It's actually a site that's enabling you to create looks of your choice. People would ❤ your look if they like it and your look could also be the look of the day if ever it gets tons of ❤'s. :)

I honestly use this site whenever there is an upcoming event and I feel lazy to try some of my clothes on. I just make a look out of my own clothes using the clothes available on Looklet and change the things that don't look good on me. There are thousands of items you can use on Looklet so no worries.

If you'd read my recent reblog, you'd know that my best friend stayed here for a while because of certain matters. So yeah, she brought food and also two bars of KitKat. We decided to refrigerate it first because it was kind of melted already when she arrived. Few minutes after she left, I continued reviewing and suddenly remembered that we didn't eat the sweets she brought! HAHA. I asked her about it and told me that both would me mine now. So I was like "my gahd, I'll get fat with these." But, I'll eat them really soon because I've got other plans now. And I'll research about 'the plan' first. HAHA! =))

I checked my Friendster and Multiply accounts a while ago and found these. :)

In Multiply, I posted a Y!M Chat between me and the same person I was talking to in the image below. I talked to him rudely. I swear. I spoke the dirtiest words. And gah, I, myself, felt hurt of the words that I was telling him. Despite that, he remained calm and spoke sweetly. And also gave me this YouTube link of a song called Thunder by Boys Like Girls.

Gee. I feel so guilty of what I am before. :-/ No wonder why we broke up! =))

It's kind of hard for me because you're pretty sad these days and if I show you that I am still sad then it won't make the situation any better. So I have got to be strong enough even just for one day - your day. :)

Seeing these things gave me a smile on my face. Because, imagine, it's been years. :o :D So I hope you'd be happy even just for a few minutes, pretty please? ;)

The image above was from an autograph book way back in Grade 6. *"GhostBuster" was in Grade 5. :D I never knew you liked hlzjdcnsknklsdjv. :)) HAHA! Ok, and oh, the course you wrote here was BS Computer Science. And we were not really close this grade. But I remember you gave me a coin. It's the first few days of the SY and you gave me a Chinese? coin. Maybe because F4 was my life those days. Oh well. :P

The next image was from HS because look, you're calling me "Mommy" already. :D [See line 4] It's funny how you are already telling me to stop being so problematic over my love life.. because even up to now, it's still the words that you'd always say. :D

Now this one.. I'm not sure. :P It's either from frosh or sophie year. But.. I'm thinking that it's from frosh year. :D This letter really touched me because man, we were already miles apart but you still think of me. Mehehehe. :3

This is a name tag. :)) You made me one because, I don't know, I was lazy back then? =)) I really don't know but you also have yours. Our name tags looked the same. ;)

Junior high!♥ The date was 2.14.8 so it was love. Kidding! Too bad the heart-shaped fuzzy wire broke up with the paper already.

I don't know what CD you're borrowing in this drawing. But, I think, you drew this to remind me that I need to bring that CD that you're borrowing. :D

The message you wrote in this letter was a serious one. It's also sweet. you called me "the sweetest damsel". Hohoho. :3

Now this.. :))) I think you'll laugh when you see this image above. =)) It's a soap you gave me. I don't know why I did not use it but, maybe.. I planned to keep it for some time and use it few months after because it looks cute but I guess, I didn't actually want it to be destroyed so I never used it. HAHA.

Hello Panda stickers! =D Each time you bring Hello Panda, you would always give me the free stickers inside the boxes so I also kept them and obviously, never used them too.

The 2x2.. well, the triumvirate gave each other 2x2's for each to keep. :D

Now, this is the ticket from our movie date. :D 

This is just one of the artworks you gave me. We are fond of doing this during junior high. The other one was the background of all the other pix above. (The yellow one with our picture and pink ribbon at the top part) The stickers and embellishments are already falling from the paper, though.

I don't know why but I just love receiving things like this. HAHA! Simply sweet♥

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Mhmm.. Looks like I haven't greeted you a happy birthday yet in this post! :)) So.. HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, Jeannine Louise Cruz Arenas! \:D/ I hope that with this simple text post you would at least forget the pain that you are feeling inside your heart.

*I'm not really good at composing birthday messages because the tendency is, I tell stories.. but I'll try my best. :D

So yes, mhmm.. thank you for always being there whenever I fall down. <//3 I've experienced quite a number of aches but with the simple words that you say, you know.. things will start to change. :)

If you need me, I will always be here. People might not understand us most of the time but I know, we'll never give a fuck. :P

Again, happy birthday! Be happy! :D

Perhaps, I was just too curious on how it will look like..

Forever one of my favorites. :D The song is called "King of Wishful Thinking". It's a version by New Found Glory featuring Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy. There seems to be no official video so I got this one with lyrics already.

Dirty Little Secret The All-American Rejects

May 8 2011 :D

A while ago, we went to San Nicholas, Minalin, Pampanga to celebrate the fiesta there with our relatives. It's been years since we last went there so I've been dying to go there again since then. Aside from the festival, it was also Mommy's birthday, Mother's Day and mhmm, Manny Pacquiao's fight so, yeah.. 'quadruple' celebration! :D

Just a few minutes after we arrived, we had a small 'tour' at the backyard. It had lots of chickens&roosters and fruit trees. I failed to take even just a single picture of the birds but I managed to take two shots of the trees.

"Calamansi" :P

I forgot what this is called, though. :))

Anyway, few minutes more, they served us breakfast. It's one of my favorite things to eat - sopas. Too bad mom and grandma brought us snacks for us to eat while we're on our way so by the time these were served, I'm still not really into eating yet. I managed to eat only a third of it cos, man their servings were huge! :D

They also served us dinuguan but I don't eat that so I did not take a picture of it. Haha! Moving along, I saw these (image below) while we're eating. Well, actually I was observing a lot of things while we're eating. It's like 5 or 6 people are cooking and they're cooking in two kitchens. It simply amazes me because even though they're separated by a door or a wall (if that's the way you want it), ingredients that are needed inside are sent right away from the dirty kitchen. Mhmm. Looks fun to me! d(^.^)b

After eating breakfast, we stayed somewhere where there's tv. My dad and grandpa were both waiting for Manny Pacquiao's fight so to kill time, they decided to watch a telecast of a basketball game first. I, who is not really that into basketball, found out that the box, which was under the table infront me, contains chicks. We were told that they're the chicks of some of the chickens&roosters that I mentioned a while ago. Don't they just look so adorable? :3

And oh, these chicks below are not! :D I can still remember that when I was younger, we used to buy these forced-to-be-colored chicks. Our trip to Pampanga won't ever be complete without these. If you're thinking that these are ours, well you're wrong! :D They're for our cousins who requested my grandma to buy forced-to-be-colored chicks for them. Our cousins were not with us so, yes, we took care of these chicks while we're there. ;3

Now, lunch is served! :p~ There were other viands but I did not eat them because well.. some are veggies and mhmm, the others.. I really don't know.

The shrimp tastes good. It wasn't too soft/hard.. just right for me. The sauce was also heavenly. It's kind of sweet but not literally sweet. I can't describe it. Sorry. :D

The chicken could've let me taste its original flavor but it failed to because the sauce of the beef I put beside it took my attention all the time. Whenever I try to taste the chicken, I would always get to eat a part of it with the sauce of the beef so yeah, too bad. But the texture of the chicken was good, though! ;)

Lastly, the beef. I don't know what it's called but I guess it's my favorite. The sauce was sweet and that's what I really like in festivals like this. :D

After lunch, we did nothing but sleep. So by the time we woke up, they were already serving home-made Jackfruit sorbet. I know.. food again. But well, fiestas like this only happen once a year so why not make the best of it? :P~

And oh, I ate two servings of that. Not bad, right? :p~

After eating and confirming that Pacquiao, did again, won, my parents decided to head home already and bid farewell to those who were there. It was such a happy experience because something happened, other than the four things that I have mentioned above. :P

The picture below shows the things that we got from visiting the house. Haha! Some freshly picked fruits, packs of viands, and three little chicks. :3

I actually thought that eating ended with the sorbets but I guess not, because I totally forgot about the Choco Baby my mom brought for us to eat. I was not really feeling hungry or anything but I still ate it while we're on our way home. Mhmm. Will I get punished for eating a lot today? :-ss

We arrived few minutes before 7pm. And to wrap things up, I saw my childhood crush again a while ago! :"> Ok, I simply feel hnnng♥, so sorry. I just needed to include it here. HAHA!