mom pls

Me: loves to lick the spoon after stirring brownie batter, doesn’t care about Sal Monella, whoever that is

this is disgusting

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

oh the nineties

i know right that dress is terrible

did i ever tell ppl about the time me and my family thought my older brother was gay and dating his best friend? they used to hold hands and cuddle and shit all the time and cause my brothers super quiet we kinda just thought that was him coming out and didn’t really say anything about it. this went on for maybe two yrs and then one day he arrives home with this girl and is all ‘id like you guys to meet my girlfriend’. at this point everyone is ’????’ and my mom is literally crying and like ‘u broke up with James?!?!?!’ and honestly I’ve never seen a man more confused in his life and yeah that’s the time my family fucked up for like 2 yrs

Why were they cuddling and holding hands may I ask

because they wanted to

let guys be intimate friends 2k17

i can’t make fun of Rick and M'lady-ok oh my god, that’s what my phone autocorrected “Morty” to, so this text post is cancelled. im hitting the brakes on this one. i think God just stepped in

todays straight character of the day is: nobody

I’m calling bullshit Odysseus is clearly bisexual

This is a quality joke

he played himself

ITS BACK !!!!

If I ever stop reblogging this, assume that I actually died

Play this at my funeral