Ardbert of the First

On this star and any other, he thinks bitterly, but keeps his mouth firmly shut. Still, a sign of such thinking was present on his face, but with his eyes still fixed on constellations above, those he does not know – cannot not possibly know – it is hard to gauge his mood. Even Ardbert himself isn’t certain what he is feeling in this moment.

“Nowhere,” he answers to the question posed. Telling the stranger anything else will needs be a lie and he doesn’t feel like spinning an elaborate one tonight. He is too tired and cold to do so.

Instead, he tells the truth– “I am waiting for word from my friends,” –or part of it at least. They were scouting the area for beastmen activity in Coerthas as they were across all of Eorzea these past months and had agreed to meet here this evening to compare notes on the matter so to speak. But he can hardly tell the man to his side his true purpose in these parts.

Ardbert sighs, turning his head to look across their snowy surroundings instead. The elongated breath turns into a white puff of air before dissipating into the night. “They’re late.” he mumbles under his breath; brows furrowing.

Ardbert’s stomach is in knots. From hunger, not from worry. He simply hasn’t eaten since this morning, meaning to do so when the others arrive. There is no need for worry. They’re fine, he tells himself.

He crosses his arms infront of his chest, burying his fingers into the fabric of his sleeves. At this point in time the cold has begun to bite through his gloves and seep into his fingers, but he pays it no mind, straining his eyes as he peers into the dark.

Where are they?

a taciturn fellow,  this one  ━ though hardly a cause for concern.  the icy cold bite of the wind poses little invitation for small talk and even haurchefant,  dressed in the appropriate amount of layers against the chill can feel it creep ‘twixt the seams and edges of his armor.  as beautiful as the stars above were,  shining brightly against the dark,  ‘tis no night to remain outside.  despite the clear signs this strangers wishes not for company other than the friends he is waiting for,  haurchefant cannot rightly leave him be without at least extending an offer for warmth and succor. 

and if it allows haurchefant to keep an eye on him to appease his guards,  ‘twould merely be a boon and not the goal. 

“ if you are here simply to wait,  then i more than welcome you to wait inside  ━ where the hearths are lit, the stone wards against the cold, and a hearty coerthan stew awaits ready to be served, “  a small bow is offered alongside his entreaty,  neither his smile nor his tone losing an ounce of its kindliness.  “ i can have one of my guards stand sentry in your stead as a sign of goodwill  ━ if your friends are fated to meet you here,  they can then be shown in as well.  “  

"They're fine--" he says then, stubbornly turning his gaze turn back to the snowy tundra. He refuses to believe that something happened to them. Aside from himself they went in pairs to carry out their respective tasks and even if they hadn't, each on their own is a force to be reckoned with. They're fine. They must be.

"--I'm fine." He adds. "Right here." The cold and fatigue be damned. His tone is a tad more sharp now, mayhap he is worried after all...

"And I don't need to be lured inside with the promise of food and warmth like a stray--" Of course, his stomach chooses this precise moment to growl loudly in protest. "--cat." Ardbert pauses. and for a long moment neither of the two says anything to break the silence.

...

He hangs his head in defeat, his shoulders droop as he sighs heavily once more. Now he is cold, hungry, worried and embarrassed. Just his luck. Slowly, he turns around to properly meet the Elezen's eyes, lips now pursing in a slight pout, his own eyes betraying the worry he so clearly feels. But there is nothing he can do, not this eve, not in the dark. A fine warrior of darkness he was.

“–!”

Deep in thought as he had been; lost in memories of time long past, Ardbert had not noticed the knight approach, and only when his footsteps where right behind him did they properly register in his ears. On instinct his hands inched towards the axe on his back before he stopped himself when the stranger stepped up to stand beside him with no apparent hostile intent.

The other’s lack of a fighting stance or drawn weapon had him be slightly less wary of him even before his words properly settled in his mind, but Ardbert still had to force himself to relax in order to not seem more suspicious than he already did.

Eventually, he even allowed himself another look towards the sky, but his attention rested on his newly found company, watching him from his periphery.

“They are…” he agreed after some time, voice subdued from melancholic thoughts. The night sky here was as beautiful and vast as the one back home, and yet entirely different from what he remembered it to be. Despite his thick clothing and heavy armor he shivered in the icy winds.

“So I’ve noticed,” he said then when the Elf – the Elezen– spoke again. Then, quieter: “One has to cherish it while it lasts…” As was the case with so many things.

if he takes any note of the sudden tension,  or the way the stranger’s hand instinctively went for the broad axe strapped to his back,  haurchefant shows no sign of offense.  his mistake for taking the male unawares,  after all;  especially so lost in rumination as he’d been   ━ and as no weapon comes swinging his way,  he takes it in stride and inclines his head instead.

with one arm folded behind his back does he stand next to the adventurer, then, looking up t’ wards those stars.  some constellations he yet recognizes from his studies so long ago,  many of them including stars needed to better navigate the land.  they take it for granted at times,  he thinks.  much like they had once taken for granted the flowers,  the grasses,  the many trees,  the first breath of spring after a long winter, ere the calamity laid all ‘neath a blanket of permanent ice and snow.

one has to cherish it while it lasts  ━ 

“ you are quite right in saying so, my friend. “  he agrees easily, pulling his attention away from the skies to fully face the stranger.  

"Nowhere," he answers to the question posed. Telling the stranger anything else will needs be a lie and he doesn't feel like spinning an elaborate one tonight. He is too tired and cold to do so.

Instead, he tells the truth-- "I am waiting for word from my friends," --or part of it at least. They were scouting the area for beastmen activity in Coerthas as they were across all of Eorzea these past months and had agreed to meet here this evening to compare notes on the matter so to speak. But he can hardly tell the man to his side his true purpose in these parts.

Ardbert sighs, turning his head to look across their snowy surroundings instead. The elongated breath turns into a white puff of air before dissipating into the night. "They're late." he mumbles under his breath; brows furrowing.

Ardbert's stomach is in knots. From hunger, not from worry. He simply hasn't eaten since this morning, meaning to do so when the others arrive. There is no need for worry. They're fine, he tells himself.

He crosses his arms infront of his chest, burying his fingers into the fabric of his sleeves. At this point in time the cold has begun to bite through his gloves and seep into his fingers, but he pays it no mind, straining his eyes as he peers into the dark.

Deep in thought as he had been; lost in memories of time long past, Ardbert had not noticed the knight approach, and only when his footsteps where right behind him did they properly register in his ears. On instinct his hands inched towards the axe on his back before he stopped himself when the stranger stepped up to stand beside him with no apparent hostile intent.

The other's lack of a fighting stance or drawn weapon had him be slightly less wary of him even before his words properly settled in his mind, but Ardbert still had to force himself to relax in order to not seem more suspicious than he already did.

Eventually, he even allowed himself another look towards the sky, but his attention rested on his newly found company, watching him from his periphery.

"They are..." he agreed after some time, voice subdued from melancholic thoughts. The night sky here was as beautiful and vast as the one back home, and yet entirely different from what he remembered it to be. Despite his thick clothing and heavy armor he shivered in the icy winds.

“  i thought you were gone.  for good. ”

“  you left and—  i thought you weren’t coming back.  ”

“  i miss you.  i know i’m not supposed to,  but.  i just had to see you.  ”  

“  please don’t scare me like that again.  i can take a lot of things,  but not losing you.  ”

“  i can’t even take the very thought of you getting hurt.  ”

“  you could’ve gotten yourself killed! you could’ve— fuck!  you scared the shit outta me.  ” 

“  yes.  i am telling you what to do.  i’m telling you not to pull something like that again because—  ‘cause fucking hell.  i care about you.  okay? ”  

“  i found myself driving home and then.  well i was on my way here.  ‘cause i guess…you’re still my home.  ” 

“  please,  tell me why you’re upset.  tell me who did this?  ”

“  you don’t have to come over here and take care of me you know.  i can clean up my own messes.  ”

“  don’t talk.  just get the fuck over here and hold me.  ”

“  loving you is like having my heart just out in the world.  outside of my body walking around.  every time i see you hurting,  it kills me.  ”

“  i made you cry.  and i hate myself for that.  i swore i wouldn’t be one of the people who left you hurting.  ”

“  you really hurt me this time.  but i want to let go of that.  i really do want to forgive you i’m just scared you’ll hurt me again.  ”

“  i know you’re mad at me right now,  but i’m the one who’s here.  let me be here.  let me help.  you can be angry later.  ”

“  i’m here now.  i know i wasn’t before.  but i should’ve been.  and i’m not going anywhere.  i’m not gonna let that happen again.  ”

“  it’s time to come home now.  ”

“  that’s enough.  you’ve got your revenge.  let’s go.  ”

“  i know you’re hurting.  and i can’t fix that.  but i can refuse to let you hurt alone.  ”

“  i’m never letting go of you.  i missed you so fucking much.  ”

“  look at me,  you’re safe.  and you’re not alone.  and i’ll never let you be alone again.  you understand?  ”

“  i broke my promise to you once.  i’ll never do it again.  ”

“  i don’t need you to go white knighting and fix all this.  i just want you here.  with me.  that will make me feel better.  ”

“  just stay still and let me hold you.  ”

“  you don’t have to hide your tears.  let it out.  then we’ll move on,  together.  ”

“  i just.  needed to talk to you ‘cause.  somehow you always know what to say.  ”

“  don’t bury your feelings.  sadness.  hurt.  rage.  feel it.  acknowledge it so you can decide what you want to do with it.  not what it will do to you.  ”

“  i miss your smile.  and not that sad one you try to fool everyone with.  the real one.  the one you used to show me.  ”

“  come here.  i’m taking care of you tonight.  and you’re gonna let me.  ”  

1) our muses reunite after sender thought receiver was dead. 

2) our muses reunite after receiver thought sender was dead. 

3) sender shows up at receiver’s house drunk after they’ve broken up. 

4) receiver shows up at sender’s house drunk after they’ve broken up. 

5) our muses are on bad terms but reunite after one of them nearly dies. 

6) sender finds receiver crying and approaches,  clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened. 

7) receiver finds sender crying and approaches,  clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened. 

8) our muses haven’t been speaking,  but sender rushes to take care of receiver after they’ve been injured or fell ill. 

9) our muses haven’t been speaking,  but receiver rushes to take care of sender after they’ve been injured or fell ill. 

10) sender hurt receiver in some way,  which led to receiver doing something reckless and sender shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath. 

11) receiver hurt sender in some way,  which led to sender doing something reckless and receiver shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath.

12) our muses are in a fight,  but cuddle anyway because they don’t like sleeping alone. 

13) receiver wakes sender from a nightmare. 

14) sender wakes receiver from a nightmare. 

15) sender wakes up in the hospital and finds receiver at their side,  who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side. 

16) receiver wakes up in the hospital and finds sender at their side,  who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side. 

17) our muses are currently on the outs,  but receiver goes through something traumatic and sender pushes past their friends to get to them. 

Ardbert didn’t know what he expected as an answer to his question, but it hadn’t been this. It had been a hypothetical one, or it must have seemed that way to the stranger, and yet Ardbert found himself swallowing thickly in return.

Ardbert knew he had become rather cynical after being faced with the destruction of his own world. Gone was the young adventurer that had hoped to do nothing but good for the people of the First, and so the other’s optimism struck a painful chord inside of him. Once he would have hoped for the same if asked, but now…

Careful what you wish for, he thought when the Elezen revealed hopes of peace and mutual benefit should there be another world beside his own. Neither of the two were possible, not when Ardbert and his friends went through with what they came here to do.

“A bit of a romantic, are we?” he said instead of offering another, more scathing, remark that was already on the tip of his tongue. He let out a small sigh then. There was little point in antagonizing the other man and frankly he didn’t have the energy for it either.

“Sometimes dreams are all that keep us going.” Gloved fingers reached to touch absentmindedly against the glass in front of him, gaze still firmly on the firmament. “…Hold on to them for as long as you can.” Futile as it may be.

“I am always accused of being so, yes-” Aymeric truly couldn’t deny such  -  his ideas were always thought as overly romanticised notions of a better world or ideal circumstances. Those thoughts and feelings had fuelled him to where he was now, and he had hopes that they would propel him (and hopefully those around him-) to a far more comfortable position. 

Eyes close briefly, a weight pressing upon his shoulders as he thought over all in which they had been through, and all in which was yet to come; for the city, for the people within, for the Alliance- It was a weight he never expected to carry upon his own shoulders - he thought he would be one following commands, not making them - and yet there he was. 

It inexplicably hurt to have these words roll of his tongue, almost as much as it had to have the Elezen's statement directed at him. Once upon a time he had believed something similar, had uttered statements of the same core message time and time again during his travels in his own world to a variety of people. He had been led by dreams and hopes as well, still was, even. And where had it led him? Here. To a place supposedly foreign, only to find the people here were no more or less worthy of living than the people back home.

Ardbert curled the hand upon the glass into a fist. He was faltering in his resolve to save his home. He had felt it from the moment he arrived here and he could feel it again now. This was precisely the reason he and his companions had decided to stay as far away from the people of the source as they could, to be able to do what was expected of them, one last act to redeem themselves after they failed, precisely because of the hope they haboured, because of the beliefs and dreams that made one strong, strong enough to face everything. But still, one could still fail and they did. He did.

Ardbert turned to face his company then, properly taking in the man's features in the dim light of the hallway. A lord no doubt, easily one of the more handsome ones at this event from what he had seen, but seemingly nowhere near as pretentious as those he had the misfortune of talking to tonight. The other's words were still ringing in his ears, but despite himself a smile tugged at his lips as he took in the stranger's eyes and the sincerity that shone within. But the smile didn't reach his own eyes. He looked resigned, defeated even. He sighed, then shook his head. "It is a shame, really. Had we met under different circumstances I would have liked you." Once upon a time they would've had a lot in common.

They may even have ended up friends.

"Good night," he offered then, rather abruptly, but he was aware he had stayed here too long as it was, and while talking to this man tugged at a long since dormant part of him -- the part that wanted to agree with the Elezen and not be cynical about the use of words like hope and dreams -- he also knew that he needed to leave.

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜