Life-Lines

–{ He’ll shrug~ He doesn’t know that many games himself, but he won’t bother to say so. Much more importantly–

“… Sorry, g… Gold-fish?”

–{ “Don’t give me too much credit~” She’ll tap the cards against the table, and begin passing them out. “Which game? Your pick.”

–{ Haha~ He’ll keep steady enough for them both. “Just playin’.  You wanna join?”

   At the coffee shop, It’s their favorite..

The Barista’s knew them, knew their order by heart. They liked this coffee shop alot, but they saw your face..

Wide eyes stared, and they dropped the cup of iced coffee. Their heart raced,unable to move,as they broke out in a cold sweat..

They could hear someone calling their name-was it you?

no you couldn’t be here..

there wasn’t any way you could be here it..it wasn’t possible.No you werent here you aren’t here. The world felt like it was spinning,the air was heavy

so much noise so much noise--

“Jin-?”

A hand on their shoulder,they jump back-

“are you okay?”

They nod,their visions blurring..that face....

blended in with the crowd.. All eyes on them..

“I’m okay..sorry..I’m not feeling well..i need to go-” 

They shoved whatever cash they had into the tray,and left,not bothering to take the change..They ran all the way home,glancing behind them, looking for that face..

They burst through the door, heaving ,trying desperately to catch their breath..hot tears rolling down their cheeks as they locked the door behind them...

  Shaky hands grasp at their shirt collar,pulling it away from their neck as they crumble at the door..

he’s not here..he’s not here..

You wanted me to go with you

...but I said no....Guess I was afraid..afraid of what would happen..of the unknown..afraid to leave the little slice of the world I’d grown accustom to..I was afraid to leave our childhood home..and those memories..I didn’t want them to rot away...

“don’t leave me” I wanted to say..but I couldn’t do that to you..You knew what you wanted..how could I hold you back..make you stay here with them...with me.

It was hell after you left..

I didn’t think it could get worse but It always managed to..

She eventually got married you know...

The little red head girl, who lived next door...

....Eventually she died.....

Eventually they died died too.

..I fixed the house..took care of the farm, the animals..

for all three of us..even if she was gone...you could still..have a home to come back to..

...I waited for you..

Still couldn’t bring myself to leave..but this was our home..

and then you did come back..

and you said you hated me...you came back to rub everything in my face....

said it was my fault...Elise died..

It doesn’t matter,it’s never mattered..

Funny..how it worked out..now you and I are all that’s left..

How lucky we get to keep on living...

It’s an Endless cycle.

People die or they leave.

This was different. It’s come to mind,but He never acted on it, not on something like this...

He’s felt lost...he’s felt alone..but this..was different...a different feeling in this late October night..

An ache of longing..

He lays in bed,clutching his forearm, staring at the kitchen doorway...

The shadows from his blinds loom over him, like a bars keeping him sealed within this cage...

His mind shows him a scene playing out in his head.. His legs moving off the bed,and his hands reaching into the drawer in the kitchen.

The silver edges reflecting his tear stained face..

 He’s never tried to do anything like that before..

His arms shook,and the smallest of sobs came from him as his nails dug further into his arm.

Push that thought out, he tried to at least, but the scene continues..

he’s never felt the need to do those kind of things..

His stomach hurt,and his arms trembled,the idea of that silver edge sinking into his skin, a line of red, dripping down to his elbow..

He’d reach for his phone....it needs to charge but he’s afraid to get out of bed..he’s afraid that if he even lets his feet touch the floor that scene in his mind will become a reality.

It’s too late to call Yuuta...or Satoshi...he thought of issamu...of but..he couldn’t bring himself to scare them with these thoughts..

He looked at the hotlines..a quick search of what happens when you do call those numberes...is a relief..and yet his hands won’t dial...

   It’s a new feeling...being afraid of your own body,of your own thoughts...afraid what would happen if you just let your legs carry you to the kitchen...He’s never been so.. overwhelmed with that image...he’s never felt so compelled to even INDULGE it and yet...and yet....

His cries grow louder..and muffled into his pillow. It hurts...and he’s scared of what will happen if he can’t fall asleep within these next couple of minutes.

The ache in his chest grows, and the clock’s ticking adds to it..

He knows you’re asleep but...

[text] Going to sleep soon but..I love you, goodnight 💚  (´｡• ω •｡`)

A fear incase...he...

  He won’t do it...he won’t...he’ll frantically scratch his arm.to satiate that urge....and hands will grip his head...and push himself further into his pillow..

A place where you can fix everything.

you love to solve all those problems dont you? 

You always have... you never hesitated to swoop in and save the day when no one needed you too..

I hated it.. I hated how you always had to one up me...was it not enough to be better than us. You had to show them I couldn’t handle simple tasks on my own...

 I never needed your help, all you had to do was focus on your studies...all you had to do was be the favorite.. and you got in the way of the only things I was good at...and made life hell for me.

Seeing them all in the living room,playing games together...eating cake and drinking juice. Laughing and making jokes..sleeping along the floor..made him smile..

He didn't realize just how much he was smiling today..

A day where all of the ghosts that followed him..were suddenly silent... 

   It’s felt so lonely in these empty halls,.the darkness felt so overwhelming..but tonight,it was warm and glowing. The shadows dancing along the walls,and the warmth was felt among the chattering that went late into the night...

He’s another year older...

      Another year...but he wasn’t alone..

A soft smile as he hums to himself, counting the stars until he felt his eyes were heavy. The cool breeze against his skin, the way the air smelled fresh and clear made him appreciate the little things that he used to over look...It was nice to take the time to really take it all in..

Though his mind always tended to drift,even when counting he’d lose his place..

  Boss sure is strange...

    gotta wonder what he’s all about..he’s so mysterious..but clear at the same time..

Dont think he’ a bad guy either..he doesn’t try and lie to people I think..tries to give an honest price and everything.. I mean if you could do all that stuff for people I’m sure people’d charge way more than what he does..

   He could feel his eyes getting heavy...leaning back a bit more,he’d  would cross his arms over his chest..

Wonder where he’s from...and why he’s doing..what he’s doin....not a demon or anything is he...?....maybe some genie..or..fairy..god father...maybe an alien..?

and the places we go...are we even on earth? or are we time traveling? dunno where..but..it’s interesting....

Disappearing peo… Cannibals?  She was no stranger to the secrets this town hid, but do the rumors really go that far..?

“You think.. these things could be connected-?”

“Fucking hell-” Katt would mutter under breath.

  Dear Yuuta,

        I hope you’re having a good day.. Uhm..I don’t know what I should say, but I guess I was just thinking about you.. Maybe it’s cheesy but whenever you come up in my mind,or whenever I see you,I get warm feeling in my chest..It’s nice and comforting..just like you.

 I feel like I don’t say how much I appreciate you. You’ve always been there for me, you’ve always been a great friend to me. I hope I’m able to be a good friend to you too. I’m glad you’re in my life.. it’s always felt like it’s me and you and nobody else.. I know that’s not true, but I do know ,I’ll always be there for you too.

Uhm...I wanna say things in a really romantic way but there’s no way to easily say, I just wanna kiss your face and curl up with you under the kotatsu forever.

haha..I.uhm-...Geez I don’t know if I should even give you this...

But, I love you Yuuta,you’re the best friend and boyfriend anyone could ask for. I think I’m pretty lucky to have you.