Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
Today's Document
Stranger Things
pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
h
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.
Claire Keane
romaā
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
I'd rather be in outer space šø
$LAYYYTER
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@cachemia
WHAT ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING HERE. LOG OFF. GO HOME. GET A LIFE.
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that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the ownerās dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her
He checked her pulse
every episode of kitchen nightmares
head chef, who happens to be covered head to toe in centipedes and stale canola oil: i am Cobfident that chef ramsay will enjoy my food. there is nothing wrong with my food. my food is perfect, five stars.Ā
gordon ramsay: i will have the risottoĀ
head chef: ok [throws some rice into a sewer, lights it on fire, and empties a packet of frozen kraft singles into the flames]Ā
gordon ramsay: *takes a bite* this sucksĀ
head chef: Oh, so we got a bitch and a liar here? Chef Ramsey doesnāt like my food, huh? So we got a blasphemer and a false prophet here, huh? Chef Ramsay dosent know what the fuck or shit he is talking about and Iām personally about to knock him out cold with my massive ballsack.
THAT SAID I WILL NOT BE DRAWING UP A SHORT LIST AT THE MOMENT, BECAUSE I HAVE MY DIGNITY AND IT WOULD INVOLVE REVEALING TO MY WIDE AUDIENCE OF 730 INACTIVE TUMBLR BLOGS AND MAYBE 17 ACTIVE ONES THAT IāM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF CALLING ANYONE (THAT I CURRENTLY SPEAK TO AND HAS NOT DROPPED OFF THE MAP COMPLETELY, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CAVEAT) BY NAME WITH THE EXCEPTION OF FEFERI, NEPETA, AND ERIDAN.
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HONESTLY I SAY THAT LIKE ANYTHINGāS CHANGED BUT IT ABSOLUTELY HAS NOT. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ABOUT TWO PEOPLE I AM ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE OF REFERRING TO ANYONE BY NAME JUST BECAUSE I DONāT KNOW IF ITāS CORRECT. ALSO, I USED TO DO THIS THING WHERE I ONLY REFERRED TO EVERYONE BY LAST NAME SO THEREāS THIS WEIRD FORMALITY THING TIED UP IN IT WHERE IāM NOT SURE IF I HAVE, LIKE, PERMISSION TO ADDRESS PEOPLE BY FIRST NAME/NICKNAME (THANKS ALTERNIA? I ACTUALLY DONāT KNOW. MAYBE THIS IS A ME THING?).Ā
IF YOU STUMBLE ON THESE POSTS FAR DOWN THE LINE AND THINKĀ āHEY, KARKAT DOESNāT ADDRESS ME BY NAME OR JUST USES MY URL. HEY, I ALSO TEND TO GO BY A NICKNAMEā AND WEāVE SPOKEN MORE THAN ONCE THEN THIS ABSOLUTELY MEANS YOU. I COULD DRAW UP A SHORT LIST OF THE PEOPLE WHO I KNOW VERY WELL OR WHO FEFERI KNOWS VERY WELL THAT I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO FUCKING ADDRESS.
I LOGGED ON JUST TO REBLOG THAT. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS ON MY DASH. I HAVENāT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL HERE IN PERIGEES. BUT SWEEPS AGO WHEN I WAS A FRESH EIGHT SWEEP OLD *CHILD* WITH A SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER NUMBER OF THINGS TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT (TWO DISCRETE MAKARAS SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME, MY EX MATESPRIT, POTENTIALLY DYING ON ALTERNIA BECAUSE ENLISTMENT CAME AND I AM OFF-COLOR, ETC ETC) I STILL FOUND THE TIME TO BE ABSOLUTELY HORROR-STRICKEN AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF GETTING SOMEONEāS NAME WRONG.Ā
DOES THAT SOUND LIKE EIGHT SWEEP OLD ME? DID THE PETULANT SHITPAN I WAS AROUND THAT TIME SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO WAS CONSTANTLY TERRIFIED BY THE MERE THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD CALL SOMEONE THE WRONG NAME? BECAUSE YOUāLL BE SURPRISED! I KNOW I AM! BUT THATāS HOW IT WAS. SINCE I WAS SIGNIFICANTLY MORE POPULAR THEN THAN I AM NOW I SPENT MOST FUCKING CONVERSATIONS CHECKING AND RE-CHECKING MY CONVERSATION PARTNERāS BLOG JUUUUUUST TO BE SURE, AND THEN ULTIMATELY JUST GOING BY URL OR CALLING THEM A BULGESUCKING IGNORAMUS OR SOMETHING ANYWAY.Ā
ok but when u wanna take the leap and call a mutual by their first name for the first time but you gotta real quick check their description, about page, birth certificate, and proof of residency papers to make sure youāre getting it right
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS IS, BUT ACCORDING TO THEIR URL AND THE FACT THAT THERE ISNāT A SINGLE POST ON THEIR BLOG, I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THIS PERSON ROSE FROM THE FUCKING DEAD LIKE FUCKING HUMAN LAZARUS OR WHATEVER TO LIKE MY IMAGE SPECIFICALLY.
kiilohaem:
Thiink Of IIt Thii2 Way: Youāre Fiinally Blo22omiing IIntwo A 2ort-Of Re2pon2iible Adult, And Youāre Dre22iing For The Part.
OH, DISGUSTING. I SUPPOSE BETWEEN THIS AND BEING AN EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED, SELF-AGGRANDIZING SHIT CANOE WITH A FUSE SHORTER THAN THE TIME IT TAKES FOR HIM TO READ A FULL POST, I GUESS THIS IS FINE. IāLL ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES.
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THANKS.
#II Mii22ed Thii2? Thii2 II2 The Mo2t 2tylii2h II've Ever 2een You.#IIt 2uiit2 You Well.#You Look Good CK. WHILE I APPRECIATE THIS COMPLIMENT, IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. THE MINUTE FEFERI LEARNED THAT SHE COULD BODY ME INTO A NICE OUTFIT WITHOUT ME SCREAMING AND TEARING IT OFF MY HUSK INSTANTANEOUSLY WAS THE MINUTE THE FIRST HALF OF MY SWEATS-ADDICTED LIFE ENDED. IāVE HAD TO LEARN HOW TO WASH DELICATES. DID YOU KNOW YOU CANāT JUST THROW EVERYTHING IN THE SAME WASH CYCLE AND DRYER? I SURE DIDNāT, BECAUSE I OWNED SWEATS, JEANS, SWEATERS, AND THE OCCASIONAL T-SHIRT FOR THE DIM SEASON.
#I like howv you turned a damaged horn into a means of accessorizin#Is the plug(??) interchangable?
THANKS. AND, NO. ITāS KIND OF KEEPING MY SHIT TOGETHER UP THERE. ITāS INTERCHANGEABLE IN THE SAME WAY A GOLD TOOTH IS INTERCHANGEABLE: NOT WITHOUT A SIGNIFICANT SURGERY OR A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.
FEFERI KEEPS BUYING ME CLOTHES THAT I DONāT KNOW HOW TO WEAR. I REALIZE I LIVE WITH THE ACTUAL, HONEST-TO-GOD HEIRESS TO THE THRONE AND ALL, BUT IāM A FUCKING HUMBLE TROLL. I NEVER OWNED A JACKET IN MY LIFE BEFORE FEFERI GOT HER GRUBBY PRONGS ALL UP IN MY WARDROBE. IāM A STAUNCH SWEATER AND JEANS MAN, WITH THE OCCASIONAL SIDE OF SWEATPANTS. APPARENTLY, THATāSĀ āUNACCEPTABLEā TO WEAR TO FANCY DINNERS. WELL, FEFERI, *NEPETA* EATS WITH NOTHING BUT HER FILTHY HANDSTUBS, SO I THINK I CAN FUCKING GET AWAY WITH JEANS IF I SO WISH.
ANYWAY, FLORAL MONSTROSITY ASIDE, ITāS BEEN KIND OF A WHILE? I CANNOT IMAGINE I MISSED ANYTHING RELEVANT.
ONE (1) POST OF MINE GETS REBLOGGED AND WHAT HAPPENS? I GET LIKE TEN FOLLOWERS. THANKS BUD. PAL.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
ALL PHYSICAL AILMENTS ARE SELF-REGULATING. FOR INSTANCE, FOR MOST OF THE WEEK I WAS SCRATCHING THE HELL OUT OF MY LOOKSTUBS, BUT NOW IT HURTS ENOUGH THAT I STOPPED. PROBLEM SOLVING!
c0ckj0ckey:
STYES?
INFECTI0N?
IMPENDING BLINDNESS?
GO TO A D0CTERR0R?
PLEASE?
I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN HAVE SOMEONE PROFESSIONALLY TASKED WITH HEALING AND/OR TORTURE TO INVESTIGATE MY GANDERBULBS. THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
#IS THERE EVER N0T SHIT G0ING PHYSICALLY WR0NG WITH YOU MY G0OD DUDE
YES! IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I *DO* HAVE SHIT HAPPEN TO ME A LOT, BECAUSE MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS SO COMPROMISED BY MY PARTICULAR GENETIC PATTERN IT MIGHT AS WELL BE THROWING A PARTY AND INVITING ALL OF THE LOCAL DISEASES 24/7.Ā
