That Unwashed Cup

A REAL DANGER LIES IN MEMORIES.

"Oh, so that's why the Stars chose you."

Oc - Alca | The Dragon Chosen by the Stars |

Like at first I simply thought it would be funny since Ram would be so pissed that she would find out because of fucking Barusu but the more I think about it the better it gets.

It's very interesting and fun to think about how Rams perception of her own sexuality would change through the experience of finding a fem-presenting Subaru attractive, ESPECIALLY bcs of Subarus parallels to Roswaal (I love Roswaal as much as the next guy but you cannot tell me that Rams crush on him doesn't kinda read like comphet).

Does she realize that she may have held a different kind of affection for Roswaal? Does she view subaru in a different way now, and if yes, how does that affect their relationship? That is also, of course, dependent on how you interpret Natsumi (is it drag, genderfluidity, gender non-conformance, or something else?) which adds another layer of complexity to this topic.

Overall, I think she wouldn't get it at first, like at all. I think it would make her flustered and bewildered and also angry and disgusted, at who she doesnt know herself though. She shows none of that, of course, besides for some snide comment about Barusu, though lacking in force compared to her usual insults.

I think she would flee the scene, so to speak, mutter something about chores that need to be done. Subaru, of course, knows that that is BS and follows after her. Alone. And confronts her because he's worried. Alone. Just the two of them in a storage room the size of a tatami mat. Alone. While she's feeling things she doesn't understand at all, which she thought she would understand. Alone. Why is he so close? Why does he look so worried? They are alone. Why does she feel weird looking at him, referring to him as "him"? Just the two of them. Why now? What difference does a dress and some make up make?

To her, he will always be just some little puppy dog blindly following his master, sometimes rarely being of some worth, no matter if he looks decent in a dress, and acts in a way that makes her knees weak, and has a face all of a sudden that makes her breath quicken...

It should not make her feel this way to be alone with him, or her. No, him. She cannot get that confused. That is Subaru, even if his appearance is barely recognizable, and his mannerisms, which once annoyed her to no end, suddenly come across as charming.

He tries to reach out to her, she slaps her hand– his hand away. Taking a deep breath and hiding it as a sigh, she calms her nerves, tells her that she's- dammit. Tells him that she's alright and that even if something was wrong, Barusu would not be able to do anything to help anyway. As she tries to leave though, Natsu- Barusu grabs her hand firmly, someone she has seen with a worried look so often as Barusu should not stir any emotion within Ram at all, but that genuine look of worry on her face makes Ram nearly stumble, if she weren't so graceful and refined a lady.

...maybe she wasn't so graceful after all.

Because in the next moment she couldn't hold back, she slammed Natsumi against a wall, albeit with more care than she would give the usual Barusu, for some reason. To have her below Ram, that is how it was meant to be, it gave her satisfaction, looking down on this. Cute. Thing.

Not cute– Disgusting. That's what she meant. Natsumi stammered something about a surprise kabedon, some other nonsensical term she made up. Ram hates that she enjoys seeing Natsumi flustered. Usually, she would threaten to go tell Emilia-sama, but why did the thought of sharing this with Emilia-sama make her stomach hurt?