mindless

“i still love you. you know that right? i always did, probably always will. lord knows i was never good at letting things - or people - go.”

Sometimes, I cry so hard I can feel it in my ribs. / I feel like the real me is backed into a corner inside me

“You think attention is love, and that’s why you suffer so deeply.”

““It didn’t work out” I guess those are just sort of four words that make you feel numb even when they shouldn’t. They’re the way love ends and the way your heartache story begins. You’ll look back on it a few years from now. Your hair is a lot shorter now and you’ve stopped biting your nails and you run into someone who knew you back then. Back when you were seventeen and you were his. And they’ll ask how you are and how you’ve been and what happened? What happened. Because oh god you were so in love. The kind of love that you don’t think ever goes away, until it does. So you’ll play it all back in your head even though you haven’t thought about it in years and it’ll rush back and wash over you and you’ll take every “I love you” and every hard kiss and every intertwined finger and wrap it all up and press it between the letters of the words “it didn’t work out.” You won’t talk about the first night you met and how you’ve never laughed so hard in your life. You won’t talk about sleeping on his bedroom floor incase his mother came into the room. You won’t bring up the way he made it feel like you weren’t going to die and with him, you never wanted to. You can’t even remember why it ended. Everything you were and everything you had is gone. It just didn’t work out. But you know that it could have.”

“I think about you. But I don’t say it anymore.”

“𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡's 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛?”

“You will search for me in another person, I promise.”

“Soon you’ll realize that many people will love the idea of you but will lack the maturity to handle the reality of you.”

“Girls like her were born in a storm. They have lightning in their souls. Thunder in their hearts. And chaos in their bones.”

“I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart. I am talented. I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way, and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.”

“But never have I been a blue calm sea. I have always been a storm.”

“You don’t know her until you talk to her at 3am and listen as she pours all her troubles out to you.”