pulvis et umbra sumus

(for @another-random-stranger) , who requested a bit of fluff <3 ) (Read on AO3)

Alec has never been great at sleeping through the night. Whether it was keeping an ear out for Jace or Isabelle sneaking in and out in the dead of night and the early morning hours, or his sleep schedule being effectively ruined by routine night-time patrol, Alec often finds himself waking at the slightest noise or unable to fall asleep entirely.

This is one of those nights. He’s lying awake next to Magnus, who is sleeping soundly. Magnus barely twitches, his breathing slow and deep, until he twitches slightly and mutters a half-asleep, “I love you, Alexander.”

Alec freezes. They haven’t said those words yet, though Alec’s lost track of how often he’s nearly let them slip.

I love you.

For a moment, Alec thinks Magnus is awake, and the declaration was simply impromptu. Except the words are so soft and mumbled that when Alec glances over, he’s unsurprised to see Magnus still fast asleep. Magnus is talking in his sleep for the first time Alec can remember, and it’s to say that he loves him.

“I love you too, Magnus,” Alec whispers, wanting to return the sentiment even if Magnus wouldn’t hear him.

Alec smiles softly to himself, allowing the warm happiness that washes over him to lull him - finally - into a contented sleep.

-------------

It isn’t the last time Alec hears Magnus talk in his sleep. Sometimes it’s a full sentence, sometimes it’s just a word or two. It always boils down to the same sentiment, though: terms of endearment and his love for Alec.

“Have any good dreams last night?” Alec asks occasionally.

Magnus stops to consider, thinking back on the night prior. “I can’t remember. I remember waking up and feeling happy, though, so I suppose that’s something?”

Alec can’t help but smile. “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

Alec hears the words in other languages from time to time - “Te amo”, “Saranghae”, “Nakupenda” - each new phrase Alec hears Magnus mutter in his sleep, he takes the time to look up the next day, and each time he finds the same answer: I love you. I love you. I love you.

Alec starts to keep a journal of when they happen and what Magnus says, teaching himself the words along the way. Alec writes them down, repeats them to himself, committing them to memory.

And one day, after they’ve shared a peaceful, intimate dinner at home after a dangerous hunt, Alec knows he can’t keep the words in a second longer.

Alec shifts in his spot on the sofa so that he’s fully facing Magnus. “I love you, Magnus.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

Alec opens his mouth to say that he knows. To share every word and phrase Magnus has spoken in his sleep back to him as proof of how much Alec loves him back.

But he stops.

This moment is special. This moment is intentional. Those five words, in simple English, mean more than sleeptalking confessions in a million different languages ever could.

This is all Alec needs, right here, right now.

“I was hoping you did,” Alec says instead, moving to lay the length of his torso against Magnus on the sofa, burrowing into his side. They lay like that, talking occasionally and listening to records.

“I love you, Alexander Lightwood,” Magnus whispers, brushing his fingers through Alec’s hair as he drifts off.

((This ask has been in my inbox for ages, but here you go, if you're still around! <3)) (Read on AO3)

Matthew rushes over to the Institute the moment he gets word that Cordelia’s patrol was attacked. He’s winded, still catching his breath as he walks up to the doorway leading to the infirmary wing, when his breath leaves him completely at the sight that greets him.

Sitting next to Cordelia’s bed is Alastair, which he could’ve anticipated, and Thomas, which he absolutely could not have seen coming. Maybe to stay with Cordelia for comfort, but not to be pressed up against Alastair Carstairs. Not with Alastair’s head resting on Thomas’s shoulder (which Thomas had to slump significantly to accommodate), and certainly not with Thomas’s hand running itself soothingly up and down Alastair’s arm.

Matthew wants to say something immediately, to question both his own sanity at what he’s seeing as well as Thomas’s for what he’s doing. They hate Alastair. Alastair hates them. That’s the way it is, and the way it will always be. It’s a fact of life as simple as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. He wants to yell. He feels a little ill.

And yes, he’s aware that this is a little dramatic of him, but he feels as if it’s a moment demanding dramaticism.

Remembering why he’s here, Matthew turns his attention to the figure in the bed in front of Thomas and Alastair. Cordelia is asleep, or at least her eyes are closed, and Matthew takes comfort in the fact that he can see the steady rise and fall of the sheet over her chest from here. There are no healers hovering about, none of the adults standing watch or waiting to administer medicine or runes, so she must not be too grievously injured. His body relaxes slightly in relief, any fear of a worst-case scenario fading from the back of his worried mind.

Right, so that’s one immediate problem put at ease. Now to deal with his newest one.

Instead of shouting and demanding answers, Matthew remains frozen in the doorway, watching. He watches Thomas and Alastair converse in soft whispers. He watches Thomas continue his gentle, comforting touches. He watches Alastair burrow further into Thomas’s side. Unable to see their faces from his angle, Matthew wonders if Alastair’s been crying and imagines Thomas soothing him with the same kind smile he’s shared with one of the Merry Thieves during any number of challenging moments they’ve been through together. They don’t look happy, obviously, given the current circumstances - but they share an ease in this darker moment which Matthew knows would translate over to the joy of each other’s company in any other situation. It's nice to see Thomas like this, to know that he has this closeness and comfort Matthew is  envious of, even if he wishes it was with literally anyone else. 

Finally, Matthew begins to walk into the room properly, his footsteps loud enough to echo in the quiet space. Alastair tenses, straightening and shifting away from Thomas, while Thomas nearly jumps out of his seat to turn around and see who’s there.

“Matthew!” Thomas exclaims, and Matthew hates to know he’s the cause of the panic and fear he watches wash over his friend. “I, uh. I was just. It’s-” Thomas swallows thickly. “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough,” Matthew says, eyes narrowed and focused on Alastair. Witnessing one soft moment between Alastair and Thomas isn’t about to erase the years of built-up hatred Matthew feels toward Alastair, after all.

“I’m tending to my injured sister,” Alastair says, barely glancing over at Matthew. “So if you’re going to start something-”

“I’m not,” Matthew interrupts, as much to his own surprise as Alastair and Thomas’s.

“I can explain-” Thomas begins, eyes pleading.

“You don’t have to,” Matthew says. “I mean, yeah, I have questions. A lot of questions,” he adds with a pointed look between the two of them. “But Alastair’s right. Now isn’t the time.”

He looks back over to Cordelia, his concern for her overcoming any ill feelings he has towards whatever’s going on between Alastair and Thomas. He hesitates. Three’s a crowd, and he doesn’t particularly want to be alone with Alastair should Thomas need to go.

“I’m sure Cordelia’s in good hands. I’ll take my leave, then,” Matthew finally, reluctantly, decides.

Already turned to leave, he doesn’t see the look that passes between Thomas and Alastair or the silent mouthing of a few quick words before he hears Alastair sigh.

“Stay,” Alastair says in a tone that’s hardly convincing, but he says it nonetheless.

“What?” Matthew stops, turning back.

“Just stay,” Thomas repeats. “We can figure everything else out later. Right now, just stay.” Thomas looks to Cordelia, then back to Matthew. “She’ll be happy to see you when she wakes up, I’m sure.”

Matthew hesitates. This can’t possibly be a good idea. Then again, when has Matthew ever let a bad idea stop him from doing what he wants to do? And right now, he wants to be with Cordelia.

“Alright,” he agrees finally. “I’ll stay.” Slowly, as if waiting to see if Matthew will interject, Thomas moves to sit back down at Alastair’s side. Matthew says nothing, only pulls up a chair on the other side of Thomas.