Greasy Grub

I want to hear about your dreams or about the relationship between you and your parents or about how you lost your spleen

I just want to know what it is you're thinking or what your favorite color is, and I'm sorry if that's too much to ask for, but please just come clean

Don't let me hold on to this little shed of hope, my hands are too sweaty I will fall

Selfish of you to assume that my happiness rooted from you

Please unlock your doors and break down your wall

I started this for you but you ended it before I could show you

And now nothing rhymes and the beat is gone

I need to stop falling for strangers

Im sorry I just wanted an answer

And now you're gone

And I can't be upset

The only reason I want you is because you don't want me

I just wanted to check in see how you were doing

I was tired of hearing about you through others

So even though you told me to fuck off at least those words came from you

At least there was a second of communication even if it wasn't in my favor

Things don't split evenly

I'd still give you the bigger half anyday

Even though you burned me, I have a scar by you

And that makes me happy because it reminds me I'm alive

And I'm so glad we crossed paths even if it means you don't cross it again

Until we meet again

But I know that will only be in my dreams

Too bad I don't breathe enough to see you there

Too bad I don't get to see you grow anymore

Too bad I don't get to hear about your day anymore

Too bad there isn't any more

Until we meet again, I will improve myself

I made a promise

The world hides it's secrets deep in between

But sometimes the trees whisper and share them with me

A comforting warmth, Irish Spring and Nicotine

The months are getting colder and I worry my heart will as well

But it's just a reminder to warm my hands with clay

I shape and shape until it bends and breaks, but someone will come along one day

My heart cries out as it weeps softly

It lays in a pool of warm water

Slowly creeping up further and further

I don't need you to be a Martyr!

But this place is warm and soothing in a way

But the salt in the water stings my paper cuts

Tiny paper cuts from tiny paper hearts that have hurt me before

I accidentally got blood on my Newport

You wanted words about you, I hope they aren't empty

Take the jar from my heart and fill it with warm bath water

Cleanse my soul when you are done, make it pristine

I am the unruly ring that cuts your finger

I am the blow to the back of your neck

As you fall down a moment so slow

The crown falls, I am a fatal blow

But you are so fragile, made of glass

And I admit sometimes I am too

But I'm scared of dropping things

In the future I wonder what this memory brings

I am so scared of hurting you, please hurt me too

Hurt me like scars that cut you deep

Break apart our chain so you can manage to break free

Please get up again and cut me off from being someone other than me

I never meant to make you feel like so

I would shoulder all of this for you if you'd let me

See my shadow and shine light on it

See my reflection and damage it

Write my name down and set it to flame

In my heart I am the only one to blame

A room full of fingers all pointed in my direction

Possible the fact of the map I lost

I had also miss placed their trust

Past encounters I've had with a connection so deep

Shouldn't attach with the current

Point the blame at me

Pour the thick tar of guilt on me

Even though I walk the grass with barefeet

I take my shoes off careful to not track mud

These floors are equally as dirty as my skin

Dirt that you can never scrape off no matter how hard you try

The image of your face is burned in my mind

Why must you continue to smile at me like that

I search and search and I've been trying to find

Someone who won't be wasting my time

You make me want to do poetry

Yet I'm unsure how to put it down

But this has given me some way

To try and forget you

But I don't want to forget no, I want to be burned

I love to be hurt because it gives me something to feel

Feeling anything is better than nothing at all

I didn't want to fall like this

Nothing about falling sounds appealing

Maybe you just tripped me

But I fell on the gravel

And then I ate the gravel

And have it be apart of me because you never will

Whenever I close my eyes it won't stop

I just see that image

That fucking image

Of you staring at me smiling

But I feel betrayal even though we are strangers

You remind me of someone I once knew

Someone who let me be apart of their journey

And I'm sorry