I hate how you show up and act like everything is alright when nothing is ok between us. I'm stuck between wanting you around and wishing we never met.

I thought it'd get easier. I thought I wouldn't miss you as much if I just cut you out of my life. But I was wrong. I miss you all the time. And it hasn't gotten any easier. But I tell myself it's for the best. I refuse to stick around. I won't let you hurt me again. So I'd rather deal with the pain of missing you and knowing I'm working on not wanting you, than keep you in my life and constantly being reminded of what I can't have. In a sense, I think that'd hurt me so much more. Either way I lose.

You could want him more than you've wanted anything. But it doesn't even matter, because if he doesn't feel the same way then there isn't a damn thing you could do about it. Go ahead and tell yourself maybe he'll come around. Or try to justify his actions to yourself. But the reality of the situation is, if he cared, he would have told you. Better yet, he would have showed you. If he wanted to be here, he'd be here. But he isn't. He doesn't call. He barely even talks to you. I know it hurts to think about it. But if he cared, you would already know.

After everything, part of me wants to hate you but the other part wants it to be you in the end.

For a moment I thought I finally stopped missing you. But I guess I was wrong because you've constantly been on my mind for the last week.