oh god I don't know what I'm doing

i love lowland streaked tenrecs because they’re like if a mammal was a caterpillar

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

I’m SO tired of weird ai business ads. Like. I’m sick of ads in general, but the weird linked-in-brained app or coding or.. hustle or WHATEVER ones really tweak me in a special way. I don’t understand 75% of the jargon and I cannot overstate how much I never want to, like.. “With FUCKWUBBL, there’s no more frilligan in the haste-lane! I can shnipshnap my uggos, fleabasin my STAX, and frilligump ALL my customers, without getting out of bed! Plus, if I ask the steersman to pack the finished product into a pine barrel, it doesn’t even agitate my pisswiddles! No more unplugging the phone lines!! Subscribe to FUCKWUBBL to bustle your hustle!” I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

girls yearn for popular media with a butch as a main character

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

we need to bring back public hatred for paparazzi. I’m so tired of actors defending themselves against assholes with cameras and being smeared as egotistical divas. they’re glorified stalkers who get paid to harass people. end of. the things these freaks get away with would send normal people to prison but we’re supposed to think it’s okay just bc they’re paparazzi. they SHOULD get shut down for being openly misogynistic. they SHOULD get told off and reported for following someone to their private residence to doxx them. they SHOULD face charges for just about running people over in their pursuit of the next hot celeb. this is not normal. and, actually, these people DO deserve to get punched sometimes.

Just discovered the queue, this thing is amazing

I love how everyone silently agreed to queue this and it's only now crawling out of the processing vortex. Tumblr posters love being contrary so much