zarah

Can we talk about this scene for a second?

I don’t think there’s a single scene in the entire show that shows how much Santana Lopez loves Brittany S. Pierce more than this scene right here.

Santana is entirely alone in this voting booth. She’s not with Brittany, or anyone from glee club. There’s not an eye on her in this moment. But still, Santana checks off Brittany’s name on the ballot with a heart, and she kisses it. It’s not to show Brittany her love, it’s not to prove anything to the glee kids, it’s simply because Santana is so in love she can’t help it. She can’t help but express how proud she is and how much she loves Brittany even though no one’s there to see it.

I mean where else could the gay kid with a dad like Burt come out and be told that he’s still just as loved, and be supported unconditionally by said father every moment afterwards? How many shows are there like that now?

Where else could the hot cheerleaders make out and it’s not just queer bait or fan service? Where there’s actually a genuine, emotional, heart felt story surrounding it? How many shows do you know like that?

Part of Glee’s whole thing was subverting stereotypes. Yes, you’ve got the sassy black girl, the gay who loves fashion, the bitchy cheerleader, the ditzy blonde, the asshole jock. But those characters are so much more than that. Even though they fell into said stereotypes at times, I think the show spent much more time showing the characters behind the clichés 

Mercedes could be vulnerable, and soft, and loving. She didn’t always have to be the Strong Black Woman that didn’t need no man

Kurt could be serious, and tough, and masculine. He didn’t always have to be the sassy gbf

Quinn could be selfless, Brittany could be smart, Puck could be kind.

And right out of the gate, the cast of characters was so diverse. The only main characters that actually fit the bill of a cis, straight, white, able bodied male were Will and Finn. Sam and Ryder were both dyslexic. I guess you could count Mason later on, but even he was on the Cheerios, which I’d argue was a good way to subvert the typical image of masculinity 

For six years, we got to meet and fall in love with multiple gay, lesbian, trans, and bi characters. Characters that were black, Asian, Latina, and mixed race. Characters that were Jewish and atheist, as well as several denominations of Christian. Characters with anxiety, OCD, depression, dyslexia, down syndrome, bulimia, paraplegia. And most of the characters can check off multiple boxes 

Glee gave us dozens of characters that we would have never found anywhere else. It gave us happy endings for characters that usually don’t receive them 

We got to see the big black girl with big dreams get everything she ever wanted. We got to see the broken Cheerio learn to love herself, and let others in, in the process. We got to see a gay and a lesbian couple go through the same highs and lows typically afforded to any average heteronormative high school relationship, and end with the gayest double wedding ever aired on television

You don’t have to preface every shred of positivity about the show with “Glee wasn’t perfect but…”. Every show has its flaws. It’s redundant to keep rehashing that point when there’s other things to talk about. Glee tried harder in 2009 than a lot of shows do now. Glee did more for unheard voices in 2009 than most of the shows out there now

Santana’s journey to embrace her sexuality was life changing for me and many other young women who were struggling to know and love ourselves. We have Naya to thank for that. She knew her own worth and she knew queer women’s worth. She took a throwaway background character and poured spirit and spark into her until Santana was real and revolutionary and so very human. Naya was intentional and generous with her performance. She didn’t have to take up the mantle of queer representation, but she did, and she changed lives by doing so.

I started writing about two girls falling in love because of Santana and Brittany and the online fan fiction community that sprang up around their romance. It was a way to uncover the workings of my heart in a safe and intimate but still revolutionary way. There would be no Her Name in the Sky, no Late to the Party, no She Drives Me Crazy, without those early Brittana fanfics that I wrote from a place of emotional and spiritual starvation.

Sometimes readers tell me that a character I’ve written makes them feel seen. I understand, because Santana made me feel seen. Naya did that. So please know that when you read my novels about young women falling in love, and when you feel seen by them, that it’s only because another brave young woman made me feel seen first. I am gutted by her death and I will be indebted to her forever. I hope the collective gratitude of the queer community reaches high into the heavens and cradles her in love. I will be praying for her family and sweet little boy for the rest of my life.

This scene holds a very special place in my heart. It was the first time I really started to understand me. I was 16 at the time and I remember exactly how Santana’s words just made so much sense to me. I saw myself in her. I felt her pain, her anger, her fear. She was the first character with whom I really connected. It felt more like she was a dear friend that could understand and help me with what I was going through. Even after all this time, this still fills my heart with hope and affection. I’m really grateful that Naya gave life to this beautiful and complex character. She was so sweet when talking about brittana and Santana. I’ll always look up to her and she’ll always hold a special place in my heart. 

Naya Rivera and Heather Morris on becoming series regulars.

Naya:  They found us at the pound… Naya:  *talks at the same time as Heather*  …and then they were like: “They’re SO CUTE!!“   Heather:  *talks at the same time as Naya*  We were like…  We were like the orphans on the side that were like…  *brings hands to chin, puppy dog eyes*   Naya:  “I want one blonde and one brunette.”

but i dont think we appreciate the reverse side enough