bunny bites

a femmes bed is the most important place to them. they have to spend 99% of their time laying in bed for their health. if they don’t do this what will happen ? we’re too afraid to find out

i think femme chivalry is a thing. and i love doing it

i tuck your hair behind your ear, it's short but it'll do what i tell it. you're itchy so i'll scratch you. you're tired so i'll hold you. your jacket is precious and guarded with fierce. your boots are precious and touched only with kindness. you need somewhere to hide? my arm is open. you need to catch a place in the conversation? i'm loud even by accident, i'll crack it for you. i'll hold your hand. i'll open your door. i'll touch the back of your head so you know i'm here. it's what i do.

i enter the lesbian bar wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the phrase: ask me about my favorite fallacy. copious beautiful women proceed to do so. “it’s the argument from fallacy” i tell them. “the fallacy of claiming that because an argument contains a fallacy, that argument’s conclusion must therefore be false.” murmurs of appreciation, as this is an underrated, even unorthodox choice. “but there’s more,“ i say. the women listen, their attention piqued. “let’s call an argument containing some random fallacy Argument A. if you claim that Argument A’s conclusion is false because it commits a fallacy to get there, you have, of course, committed the argument from fallacy. but here’s where it gets interesting.” the women lean in, enraptured. someone turns the music off. “if i claim that your conclusion (that Argument A’s conclusion is false) is false because you committed a fallacy (the argument from fallacy), i too have committed the same fallacy.” i am met with exclamations of delight and disbelief. “it’s like fallacyception,” i say. the women burst into applause, charmed by my firm grasp of logic and reasoning. i exit the lesbian bar covered in lipstick kiss marks like in a cartoon

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m