bunanddun

Physicalize - I am personally a very emotional human being, and I feel things very physically. I think that helps me describe emotions on paper, because I tend to connect emotions with physical sensations. For example, instead of "he felt sad," I would say "sadness washed over him in a lukewarm tide." That physicalization of the abstract feeling can make it easier for people to replicate the feeling in their own minds. So basically, I'm taking the emotions I want to convey and thinking, "how does this emotion feel on a physical level?" and then describing that. "Anxiety tightened in her gut." "Anger bubbled under his skin." "Her body was light, drifting in euphoria." Metaphors are your friends.

~Body Language~ - Another physical indicator of emotion is how people's body language changes to reflect what they feel. This is huge when dealing with non-POV characters. Any time that you could say "she looked upset," you would do better to just describe how she looked. "She furrowed her brow, looking down." "His fist tightened on the door handle." "The silverware rattled in the drawer as she jerked it open." Emotions often come through in the way characters interact with objects around them. In that vein, you can usually express it more clearly if you focus around some action that the character is performing (even a tiny little one). Making note of details like avoiding eye contact, how/when people fidget, whether their movements are sharp or fluid, and stuff like that can go a long way in conveying emotions more naturally.

Wait How Do People Talk Again?? - Dialogue can be really tough if it doesn't come naturally to you. I voice-act quietly to myself pretty much all of the dialogue I write just to make sure it sounds natural. Again, pulling from real-life experience is usually best here; imagine how you've heard real people talk when they are feeling angry, depressed, panicked, etc. Think about phrasing and tone inflection - do their words sound short, sharp, and clipped? How do their phrasing choices show that? Do they ramble in a bright, bubbly tone? Are they monotone and flat? Do they use a lot of filler words because their brain is moving too fast (or too slow)? Are they so tired or hesitant that they trail off or pause frequently?

First of, thank you for wanting to include a Borderline character into your work. We have very little representation in media and when it is there, it’s negative. The antagonist in Single White Female and it’s remake is said to either be Borderline or Bipolar, for example. A few Borderline-coded characters also exist but their symptoms are probably closer to bipolar depression.

Trigger Warning for discussions of suicide, abuse, and hospitalization

What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

It is called “Borderline” because it is “on the border of psychosis and neurosis. It used to be believed that Borderlines had a tendency to regress into “borderline schizophrenia,” but this really isn’t the case anymore. The term was coined in 1938 and there have been attempts to rename it but this is what it’s called for now.

Here is the raw list from the DSMV. My notes are below and italicized. Important take-always are in orange text.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

Markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (eg, spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) [5] ; this does not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in criterion 5

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Generally, a diagnosis is only given if a person has at least 5 of these symptoms.

My comments:

Re: #1 There doesn’t have to be a literal abandonment in childhood. For me, I was emotionally abandoned by both my mother and father during my formative years. My mother also hated physical contact so now I have an impulse to seek it constantly. Touch-starvation is an easy trait to add to your Borderline character.

The stipulation in #1 that the frantic efforts cannot be the behaviors listed in #5 means that a Borderline person might: drive 3 hours in the middle of the night to the person who they feel might abandon them; do some extreme begging or bartering to keep the relationship. Also important: these do not have to be romantic relationships.

Re: #3 If Dissociative Identity Disorder means a person has multiple distinct personalities, for BPD we generally feel like an incomplete person, like we only have fragments of a whole personality.

A common joke in the BPD community is “Oh, you have a great personality.” And the Borderline person’s response is, “thanks, I made it specially for you!” You may also hear Borderlines called “chameleons” because we take pieces of other people’s personalities and incorporate it into ourselves. It can be a fictional character, too. I incorporated a lot of NBC Hannibal’s Will Graham into my personality at a point. Another aspect of this is that Borderlines are very good at code-switching. For me, when I’m in a new group of people, I have to “feel out” the vibe and everything and then alter my behavior to fit this social circle. Most people do this to some extent but Borderlines do it constantly and unconsciously and often extremely well. It’s not meant to be manipulative. It’s unconscious, we can’t control it.

Re: #8 The anger is a big one for me and it often leads to homicidal ideation. But Borderlines are incredibly unlikely to act on it.

Other Borderline Behaviors

Favorite Person/FP: Probably the most important aspect of BPD. An FP is specific to BPD. It can be a romantic partner, a crush, a parent, an authority figure, a sibling, or a child (specifically the child of the person with BPD of they have kids). This is the single most important thing in a Borderline’s life. An FP is an idealized person who can never do any wrong in our minds. Even abusive behaviors will be overlooked or reframed.

We don’t always have an FP and I’ve also never heard of someone having 2 FPs simultaneously. I had 2 at the same time once but I would split on one and then idealize them other one. I would never idealize both at the exact same moment. A real or imagined negative interaction with an FP can make or break a Borderline’s day and if it is negative, they can “split” on them.

Splitting/Black-And-White Thinking/All-Or-Nothing Thinking: Borderlines “split” on people, usually an FP. This is how an interaction with an FP can “make or break” your day. If an FP doesn’t text us back right away we might think they don’t like us anymore or are mad or will leave us. So we, unconsciously without our control, “split” on them. When “splitting negative” on a person it is impossible to recall good memories of the person, or they are framed negatively. A once loved birthday gift from an FP might now be seen as insincere or irrelevant. This is the “devaluation” mention in criteria #2.

However, once the person texts back, say 2 hours later, we usually split back, and now the person’s real or imagined negative behaviors are gone and they are once again idealized, as mentioned in criteria #2. You can see how taxing such a sudden shift in emotions can be for a person.

It is also taxing on the FP if they are present during the split or received panicked or angry messages with the above scenario. It causes fights and the FP might view the Borderline person as “Bipolar” “irrational” or “unstable”.

We can split on people that are not FPs.

Tips For Your Character

Your Borderline character could easily be in out-patient therapy. I won’t go into the details but they could be in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). The structure is 2 sessions a week, one with a small group, and then another one-on-one with their psychiatrist who is probably also running the group. Psychiatrists need special training to treat people with BPD.

Your character would also do “diary cards” each day and record their mood and any notes about their day. These are easy to add in as throw-away comments like “I’m going to therapy, I’ll be back in an hour or so” or “damn it, I forgot to do my diary card”.

Fun fact: Therapists have been known to drop clients upon finding out they have BPD or giving them the diagnosis because apparently some therapists can’t handle us.

Your character might also be on some medication and an easy scene for angst could be them refusing to take their medication, forgetting to take it, or the meds being of of balance and them needing to go to an ER to be stabilized (usually they become suicidal or paranoid) and have their meds adjusted. This happened to me once. Lithium can be used in extreme cases as a medication but usually a combination of anti-depressants and mood-stabilizers is used.

BPD is often comorbid with depression so your character will probably exhibit depression symptoms as well.

Final Thoughts:

As long as you don’t make your Borderline character the antagonist or a manipulative partner who kills pets like in Single White Female, you should be fine.

Edit: tumblr glitched and I didn’t mean to post this now. I’ll try to get on my laptop when I get home and add a read more.

Service doll that makes tea when the combat dolls debrief after their latest mission, so those with still functional jaws can have something to drink.

Service doll that is instructed in firearm maintenance and SOP hand signals. It does not quite understand, but it listens eagerly to the combat dolls all the same.

Service doll that is given a ceramic combat knife made from the same beautiful porcelain that its form is comprised of; a purely symbolic gesture, as it would never have the need while the combat dolls are around.

✮⋆˙ "I've been in this house for sixty years. You're the first person who could see me."

✮⋆˙ "I don't remember dying. I remember everything before and then just this."

✮⋆˙ "You talk to me like I'm still a person. I didn't realize how much I needed that."

✮⋆˙ "I can't leave until I finish something. I've been trying to figure out what for decades."

✮⋆˙ "Don't get attached. I'm not staying. I can't stay."

✮⋆˙ "The living don't understand how loud silence is when you're dead."

✮⋆˙ "I watched everyone I loved grow old without me. Do you know what that does to a person."

✮⋆˙ "You're not afraid of me. That's either brave or you don't understand what I am."

✮⋆˙ "I've haunted this place so long I forgot what I was haunting it for."

✮⋆˙ "I can touch things when I'm angry. That's probably important information."

✮⋆˙ "You solved my murder. I don't know how to thank you or how to leave now."

✮⋆˙ "I'm not haunting you. I'm just not ready to go and you're the only one who notices."

✮⋆˙ "Being dead is mostly just frustrating. Nobody tells you that."

✮⋆˙ "I fell in love with a ghost. I'd say that's my lowest point but the bar is complex."

Service doll that makes tea when the combat dolls debrief after their latest mission, so those with still functional jaws can have something to drink.

Service doll that is instructed in firearm maintenance and SOP hand signals. It does not quite understand, but it listens eagerly to the combat dolls all the same.

Service doll that is given a ceramic combat knife made from the same beautiful porcelain that its form is comprised of; a purely symbolic gesture, as it would never have the need while the combat dolls are around.

and some of them are her

The guard dog -> loyalty has been ingrained into their bones, following their handler around like their shadow. No one dares stand against the organization because of the legendary dread surrounding this living weapon. They hardly say a word but every movement is calculated, eyes always darting, always watching. (“You always were their lapdog.”)

The loose cannon -> dangerous for both sides. Always talking back and never predictable, their value is dependent on their skill. If it wasn’t for that, they’d be dead a long time ago. Their loyalty is earned, not bought. No one wants to be on their bad side, walking on tip toe whenever they show up. And they enjoy it. (“What’s everyone looking at? Aren’t you happy to see me? I even brought my rifle!”)

The broken down -> most common type of whumpee I’ve seen. They’ve been overpowered and forced into the commission. They hate their handler more than anything else but see no way out. When they’re told to shoot, they don’t even blink. It’s always “yes, sir” this and “yes, sir” that. If they feel any sympathy, they don’t show it. They’ll do anything to avoid punishment and flinch at quick movements. Nothing they face on the field is worse than the cards they’ve been dealt. (“I understand, sir/ ma’am. I-I’m sorry.”)

The dissenter -> Usually recruited into the organization or joined as a last ditch option. Not necessarily against using their abilities or skill, they just hate being told what to do. As time goes on and their disobedience is punished over and over again, they grow reluctant. Bitter. With every order, they slip in a snarky comment. Roll their eyes. Anything to assert their own identity. Or what’s left of it. (“ah ah ah, you didn’t think i’d notice? The middle finger was a bit much. I’m afraid it will have to go.”)