bucolics anonymous

Cancelled the meeting w/ HR and muted former boss’s texts on the advice of my dad’s partner, who worked in HR until Friday. Either side might try to get info from me in case of lawsuit, so it’s best to document everything but keep it to myself unless/until it gets any weirder. Is there anything more pathetic than someone trying to exert authority they no longer have? I pray I’ll always be able to resist that level of vanity, but I wouldn’t put it past me.

Work remains a mess. “Have to” (encouraged by interim supervisor) to go to HR on Tuesday to record that our former boss is still texting us after we wished her well and politely declined her invitation to meet off-campus off the clock. We’re not even trying to communicate our displeasure—who wants to take a train on the weekend to be pressed into letting someone off the hook? I’d be happy to move on; this is all for her. She sent us another message on Saturday and I’ve had three nightmares since, all about her being rehired. In one she was young, with dark hair, and I didn’t recognize her until it was too late, whatever that means. Still no confirmation on our move to a 12-month workyear. No promotion up for discussion until we get a new library director and the job still hasn’t been posted. How can we be “senior library assistants” w/o anyone to assist!! Everything is stupid including/especially me!!!!!

All extra energy gets thrown at the project. I’m losing faith in my ability to finish. A. sez perfectionism, but it isn’t.

Today we got an email notification from a database vendor that the library’s account has been placed on hold for non-payment. The rep has been emailing our former boss since 2/24. It’s rly starting to look like she peaced out as a fuck-you to the upper admin she’s been feuding with and simply did not care about how it would impact us. Realizing along with my coworker the extent to which we were walking on eggshells for 8 (me) and 20 years. Wild to have the “oh noooooo that sounds fucked up!!!” experience in a meeting with HR and not while telling A. about highschool. Boiled frog yet again!

The situation at work is too complicated for a paragraph, so let’s just say it is only as if my boss, the head librarian, disappeared off the face of the earth at the end of February. We are down from 3 to 2, no notice given or arrangements made. Every single day I am faced with some piece of information (or lack thereof) that leaves me stunned, like quite literally dazed and dopey. It boggles! Doing a ton of extra work just explaining to upper admin how much extra work I’m doing. Trying to wrangle a Career Move but I have the horrible suspicion that they will be able to extract my expertise w/o compensation simply by taking advantage of my desire to prevent my environment from becoming fully chaotic! See ya at the end of the semester, I guess!

From Satie’s letters.