Inevitable Fate

We only embrace relativism when objective truth is a threat to us. And there is no objective truth more threatening to us than the truth of the holiness of God.

家

"You're such an adult now."  "You're buying a house. You're in seminary.  You make well-over six figures.  You do ministry.  You have it all together."  These are the things I hear often - they are the things that [probably] most college-educated believers low-key crave to have at this stage in life.  By most measurements of the world, I am successful and by most outward measurements of the faith, I am too.  I can easily keep it this way, in fact, I can reasonably become even more successful.  I am, the guy who has it all together.  Or so it would seem.  What people don't see is that I have been privileged all my life and owe all of it to the hard work and sacrifice of others.  They don't see that in class, I barely complete my work up to par quality on time despite my GPA and that I'm wildly confused over my theology on so many things, even the denomination of my school*.  They don't know that for most jobs I've held, I've been vastly under-qualified, egregiously overpaid, and extraordinarily lucky.  They don't see me skip all the times I could/should have showed up to share the love of God through my volunteering.  They don't see that half the days, I skip my quiet time with the Lord and I can't focus my mind on prayer for more than 3 minutes at a time.  They don't know that I still fall painfully into my old sins, such as lust and laziness.  They don't see the loudspeakers around my head blaring conflicting messages from a world of flesh, money, and luxury and a world of faith, obedience, and humble servitude, and that the choice of which ones to listen to is surprisingly (or maybe not so much) hard to make and that the noise is borderline crippling.   One of my favorite classic books is The Great Gatsby, because the idea of “smoke and mirrors”, the allure and fleeting nature of success are all documented vividly in the story.  I used to think I was above all that, that I'd be a bastion of asceticism, resistant to the world, a humble, quiet servant, the antithesis of the mold of the modern man, and a shining representation of what purposeful life looked like.  But that has been whittling away and each day grows a bit heavier in fighting that battle.  But I truly want to be a faithful follower of God's will.  Honestly, that could indeed entail having a high paying job, experiencing what God has created on earth, owning a large house if it means spending them to the point it hurts.  Or it could easily be me justifying my selfishness.  Maybe I am idolizing the life and work of a servant of Christ, rather than following Christ himself.  I would love to recognize what God wants me to do.  But I know that is the wrong question.  Faith and obedience trump discernment, but for now, I feel like I'm wandering through the dark, getting somewhere, making progress, but not sure where or if it's even the right place. There are too many unknowns in the immediate future: where and what the house will be, which church will be my next one, how will my theology will be shaped by continued study, reading, and observing the current cultural climate, how much I enjoy my new job, if I can perform or if I realize I don't want to go the "easy" government route, what my ministries and hobbies will be going forward, and much more.  As of now, I am weary and broken, and perhaps that's exactly what I need to restore  closeness with God.  But know that "having it all together" isn't everything.  Conversely, it means very little.  You can have everything, but really have nothing, apart from God.  I am bearing my cross (I hope), running my race, and slowly learning what exactly that cliche adage means.  

Why is Jesus saying "I AM" so important? Because you're not!

We rob men of a greater vision of God because we do not give them a lower vision of themselves.

I realized that I was immortal till my Master’s work with me was done.

Sometimes I pay more attention to what's right in front of me instead of who God is.

Corner of Fairfax & Glebe

When we say that some of the Christian emperors are blest, we do not mean they are happy because they reigned many years; or because, when they died in peace, their sons reigned in their steads; or because they conquered the enemies of the republic; or because they were warned in time to put down the rebellions of seditious citizens. Such rewards and consolations in this troubled life have been rightly bestowed even on those who have worshiped pagan gods and who did not belong, like Christians, to the Kingdom of God. The reason for this is God's mercy.  He does not want those who believe in Him to look upon such favors as God's highest gifts.

When all the boasting is over, what is any man but another man?  And, even though a crooked world came to admit that men should be honored only according to merit, even human honor would be of no great value. It is smoke that weighs nothing. Yet, in this matter, too, let us turn to our profit the goodness of God, our Lord.  Let us reflect what good things they despised, what suffering they sustained, what passions they subdued for human glory - the sole reward such marvelous virtues merited.  Let it help us to suppress our pride when we think of the difference between their city and ours and to reflect how little we can claim to have done if, to gain our City, we do a little good or endure certain ills, when they have done and suffered so much for the sake of the earthly city which is already theirs. Our city is as different  from theirs as heaven from earth, as everlasting life from passing pleasure, as solid glory from empty praise, as the company of angels from the companionship of mortals, as the Light of Him who made the sun and moon is brighter than the light of the sun and moon.

Mosque visit