Last Of The Mohicans/18th Century Nerdiness

The week after my husband finished 28 radiation treatments, my Dad died very suddenly of a heart attack in February, with no previous indicators that this could happen. He had a lung condition from agent orange exposure in Vietnam, but no cardiac problems that we ever knew about. It was a massive and horrible thing that hit like a freight train. We are all still reeling from it, and the last three months have been a roller coaster to say the least. Because it wasn’t enough already, you know? My family and I have spent a lot of time helping my mom sort out affairs, I arranged the funeral since he was buried where I live and had to be transported, it’s been… I don’t have a word. The year isn’t half over and I’m already tapped. Honestly I’d really love to take a whole week, lock myself in a hotel alone, and write like four chapters, but I’m not sure it would happen. My brain just is so very tired and won’t enter FicMode yet. I try. I reread parts of CF to try and get things flowing, but then I cry when I read about Munro’s death. I won’t always. I will finish this damn story one day.

I am so heartily sorry it’s been so long since my last chapter published for Crazy Faith. As many of you know, my sweet husband was diagnosed with brain cancer in late July 2021, and if my life was a rollercoaster before that, it’s a freaking hurricane now. Biopsy in August confirmed grade 2 oligodendroglioma with a favorable genetic profile that makes it most responsive to treatment, but the tumor was quite large - 9cm. He underwent surgery in October to remove the existing cranioplasty from his combat injury and resect the tumor, and his wonderful neurosurgeons were able to resect all but about 1cm of the mass in his right frontal lobe, and one of his epileptologists was also on the case to take some of the surrounding seizure-active tissue related to his injury. This was all pretty successful and he recovered fast and well like the walking miracle he has always been. 28 Radiation treatments started in December and this week he will finish, and then get a 4 week break before 14ish months of PCV chemotherapy begin. It’s a long and twisty road, and my brain has not been in a frame of mind to write, which is frustrating but normal I suppose.

Last week I myself had surgery to release my right carpal tunnel and on my right elbow to relocate my ulnar nerve where it won’t pop over my elbow and continue to be damaged - I have had problems with both for quite a while and it was time to get it fixed before permanent damage occurred. I need my hands working. That all went well thanks to my super awesome surgeon and OR team, all of whom I am privileged to work with daily. I’m hoping that during the time I’ve taken off to recover I will feel like writing next week after my restrictive splint comes off.

We discovered this over the past six months or so as he was having a battery of imaging and inpatient EEG tests to prepare for what we hoped would be an epilepsy surgery to lessen or even totally cure the seizures he has had since his brain injury in Iraq 15 years ago (if you’ve read Flying Into the Fire, you know part of this story). In July after the last contrast MRI, we found out instead that what we’d be doing is a tumor resection. Imaging showed a 9cm mass (which we have nicknamed “The Predator”), and this thing is probably the reason his seizures have changed for the worse the last few years. It appears to be a low grade glioma of some kind - which, if you’re going to have a brain tumor, is the better type to have, because glioblastoma will kill you fast and furious where glioma is slow and relatively benign for years until it converts to malignancy. That being said, some glioma cell types are more problematic and more likely to convert than others, so we still need to know what kind it is and how aggressive his neurosurgeons have to be with resecting it, what kind of radiation and possibly chemo he would need, etc.

Today, August 12, he is having an inpatient biopsy to get all this information. Resection planning is the next step after pathology results come back. I will be on leave from work intermittently for these procedures, and I am hoping my brain will choose writing as a distraction for things like hospital stays and 6-8 hour tumor resection surgeries.

But… humor is a good coping mechanism for us nurses, and I gave him this hat complete with a little hand sewn 9cm tumor.

“Another Forty Yards”, a Last of the Mohicans story by BrynnaRaven

Summary:

Fort William Henry. As Nathaniel, Uncas and the Colonial militia prepare to send Munro's courier to Fort Edward to request reinforcements, and the militia subsequently plans to leave the fort to protect their families, Nathaniel is also deep in thought about the piece of blue silk he carries with him for shooting patches, and his feelings for the woman who gave it to him. FFN and AO3 links provided below the photo. If you read it, I’d love it if you would comment and let me know how you liked it! ❤️

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13840685/1/Another-Forty-Yards

At long last you get two for one! FFN and AO3 links below. I only linked to chapter 12, but keep reading through chapter 13. I guarantee, you’ll be a lot happier reading both.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13024553/12/Crazy-Faith

So, dear readers and LOTM fans. I have COVID-19. I’m going to try to pre-emptively answer the questions I’m being asked by people who care about me (or just satisfy yer morbid curiosity).

What happened?

I don’t know. I haven’t been to a store or public place in weeks. We only do curb pickup for groceries. Kiddo hasn’t been at school in person since early November. Husband works at home. I go to work at the surgery center and I come home. But, I woke up with flu-like symptoms and a fever yesterday, and being a nurse, with type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes, and with the possibility of unknown exposure due to the nature of my job, I went and got tested. The rapid test was positive. Husband isn’t feeling well either and is getting tested today. He has had fatigue, headaches and his simple-partial seizure activity is a little wonky. Most importantly, Our kiddo is fine, asymptomatic and full of energy. We are all isolating for a *minimum* of 10-14 days regardless of who is positive and who is not (and we are probably all positive by now).

How do I feel?

This is day 2. I’m tired, but I am told the worst fatigue can really hit a few days in. Right now I’ve had a mild fever, headache and burning sinuses, and the strangest muscle pain/exhaustion I’ve ever felt that doesn’t feel like normal flu. It’s mostly in my neck, and upper back/shoulder blades, but it migrates for brief periods sometimes. I also have congestion, and a cough that I hope remains as mild as it currently is but I anticipate that will get worse given how rapidly I get bronchitis when I’m sick. Maybe not, we will see. These symptoms sound normal on paper, but they don’t feel *quite* like anything I’ve had before. I want to say I have body aches/pains, but “pain” almost doesn’t seem like an appropriate word. I’ve said to several people that this is like the flu, but from another dimension. Just a little off-kilter, wibbly wobbly, weird and slightly alien. The Buckaroo Banzai flu, if you will.

What’s being done for it?

Nothing but normal cold/flu measures until/unless this gets worse. Mucinex, Tylenol and Motrin, vitamin D and C, zinc, fluids and rest, among other things. My endocrinologist knows, and my primary care doc knows and is ready to do more if I get other symptoms. I have a nebulizer with treatments if needed, I own a pulse oximeter (that’s been fine), and have antibiotics ready to go if my doctor feels that’s appropriate. I cooked two pots of soup today while I feel good enough to do it.

Am I at risk for complications?

Technically I guess so, but who knows? This virus has been a game of Russian Roulette with every type of patient, of every age, since the beginning. Aside from my well controlled and complication-free diabetes, I have no risky comorbidities, I am active and reasonably healthy. Unless my genetics pull a fast one on me, I really should recover just fine. When I do I’ll donate plasma for those who aren’t as lucky. And I’ll hope and pray that this is as bad as it gets for me and my family.

What do I want you to understand?

I love you all and I don’t want you to get sick. We all have a family member or loved one who we wouldn’t want to get this. My dad has a chronic lung condition from agent orange exposure and I would be terrified if he got this. This virus is highly transmissible and you WILL NOT know you have it until it’s too late to avoid spreading it. Please take precautions and take care of yourselves and your families.

With this unplanned down time I’m hoping to feel good enough to write, at least to finish the current chapter of Crazy Faith, because dammit Nathaniel and Cora WILL figure their shit out before anything happens to me!

God bless, peace out, namaste, and mucho loves. I’ll update y’all if things get any worse.