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He's hurt when Lec pushes back. Even more so when Lec begins to cry, he was no good dealing with that when his brain was in working order. As he is, Roc feels frustrated and useless with no idea what was happening or what to do about it. His brother was sad, but there was heat between them and Roc's thoughts were sailing on a choppy sea, bobbing this way and that. He tries so hard to focus on Lec's expressions, to read them and make sense of them... it's futile when he can feel himself growing hard from the press and rub of his sibling's cock. It sends an electric feeling up his spine and Roc very much wants more of it. Then Lec grabs his face, holds it possessively in his hands and Roc smiles to match his brother; happy to hear those words, happy to be held, happy to feel his body so hot.
“Love.”
He's loved. He's loved by his brother, the most important person in his life. There’s plenty of confusing pieces to this puzzle he knows he’s missing, but they don’t seem worth chasing down with this revealed. It’s too complicated to sort out, and anyway, in classic Roc fashion he’d rather center on what was immediately satisfying.
“Why cry...?”
And to prove to his brother there was nothing here to feel sad about, he fumbles a hand downward, fingers tripping on their way to where his pants buckle rested against Lec’s. He struggles with the latch, flashing a drunken toothy grin meant to reassure.
“Lovin’ means fuckin’, y’know.”
And really, in Roc Hijohshiki’s world it was the truth. He knew no other way to show interest... and it doesn’t occur to him to ask if Lec was as well. It was his unholy right to take what he pleased, how he pleased, and Roc did enjoy taking charge. What a pleasant bliss to be unaware how little control he actually had over anything happening.
