Untitled Suits Me

I fed the animals and then went, oh I better water some of the plants since it STILL hasn’t rained.

And after hauling water to the azaleas, gardenia, poor half dead hydrangeas, and the young magnolia I went, oh maybe if I add a few gallons to the pool daily it will help compensate for the evaporation. Don’t want critters drowning when they try to lean in to drink and find the water out of reach….

And after hauling a bunch of gallons that still can’t possibly make much difference, I thought, okay, another cup if coffee and some more toast. (THREE slices of toast? In one morning???)

And then I thought oh, the grass may be dead but the damn wisteria vines are still growing like mad. Everything I cut a few weeks ago has already grown back!

So after going around hacking away until my hair was tangled in twigs and my shirt soaked with sweat, I went oh, I should get another drink and do something about the cut I just got.

And after drinking another cup of coffee ( THREE in one morning!) I remembered a thing to do with some of Mom’s insurance that needed sorting out. They had forgotten to include the paperwork I needed, but I hate making phone calls, so I had been hoping they would send me another letter.

And after making the phone call I thought, oh, I really should job hunt again. (Probably related to the call and the fact I think of money in terms of how much time it adds or subtracts from how long I have left before I no longer have the money to survive)

And then I noticed some trash, and decided to go fill up a trash bag with junk (actual, not the “junk” the anti clutter assholes go on about!) about the place.

And then I decided maybe one more cup of coffee and Tumblr while I drank it….

I need to go get started on that plumbing already!

I have thoughts. Half baked, maybe, but thoughts. Feelings too, though they are sort of muted lately, worn down from over use.

I just don’t have the time or energy to turn any of it into words.

Life would be so much easier if there were an actual human around to mumble at. Full sentences wouldn’t be required, and the mere fact they are stuck looking at your face would prompt at least polite feigned interest.

But here I am, my only human interactions most days involve typing away words that people I’ll never meet (or in most cases know the name of) read. Because monologues to strangers on Tumblr still feel more like making a connection than my chatter to the beasties.**

And now I just don’t even feel like bothering with even that anymore.

**Though the beasties are unignorably responsive….rolling over for a belly rub (the pig), flopping next to me for a nap (the dog), or making an utter purring nuisance of themselves (the cats). Love you online folks, but pet feedback is rather more active than clicking like!

***sigh***

****sigh****

Just….