footy franks & tia marias

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

do people just not find those AI pop-ups everywhere not incredibly patronizing: "help me write" "help me visualize" help me put my balls in your mouth

I am a really really big fan of this whole filming and putting pro-shots of musicals in theater

girl came to the bank whose name is fuckinggggg megan sandwith. personally I'm megan myself a sandwith for lunch

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

This was written out in real time btw. I typed out the first half, paused, saved it to my drafts, went back to open their blog, then came back to type the rest

I am always saying this!

HOW DOES ONE "ACCIDENTALLY" BECOME EMPEROR?

um☝️I also have the bisexual swag

DELETE YOUR BLOG

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

white people you don’t need to say you’re white when you reblog this btw. you don’t even need to mention it btw

I love not playing along