☾

Burger queen divorced him

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

a woman holding her boob should be considered a neutral pensive gesture like when a man scratches his beard

am I unforgivable or is it just thursday

I am pathologically always speaking in a manner of jest