you're either kermit on fire or elmo rise

dead dove: do not eat only instead of it being a dead dove or sketchy-niche fetish fanfiction, it’s a game between the rebuilding ottawa senators and the probable-cup-contending toronto maple leafs

hearing the sportsnet commentators be like, “a*ston m*tthews had his little... indiscretion over the summer... but p*trick k*ne had similar problems in 2012 -- a few too many cameras in wisconsin -- but then the hawks won the cup and he was awarded the conn smythe the following season!” like. jesus fucking shit. where do i even start.

feels tiring lads :\

taking back a goal from scraggly old dog ron hainsey and then having matthews score immediately after is like if someone grabbed your coffee, drank it, then spit it on your shirt

i live to hear elliotte friedman talk glowingly about all 212 lbs. of brady tkachuk