Victim of Imagination

me, late 20s, discovering i love to cook, and have neck pain: holy shit i’m going to turn into a person who does yoga

me, buying paper napkins and eyebanging a herb garden: i’m having an identity crisis 

me: *reaches automatically for coaster, catches sight of my reflection in my newly purchased wine glasses that were on sale*: i don’t know who you are anymore

“i’m not a fan of embellishments on throw pillows, they tend to snag” I say, and gasp in horror at what I’ve become

“Did you know they make odorized garbage bags now?” I say without flinching,  the sclerae of my eyes as black and ashen as my soul

Reblogging again cause I didn’t know this 👆🏽

Guy taking pictures without permission is told to leave club, but somehow the story becomes the woman he’s harassing is ‘thrown’ out. Typical.

*plugs hdmi cable into hdmi slot and not the usb slot* I learned that at tech school ;)

@soapysann

👑

ok what lesbian got herself in charge over at fruit of the loom

being single is like… it’s just you and your bottle of water

never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. ill bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience 

It’s like a dishwasher

i dont understand even a little bit thank you

Ahhhhh she’s so beautifulll