Duality if mankind

Not settling but justifying reality

The perfect woman the perfect man

So to explain, the gift of life is love and love just as it brings joy it brings pain, good and bad decisions which shape us everyday. Since the first day I saw your smile in HS you radiated such an energy of love and compassion kindness and everlasting harmony I can’t explain it your smile your eyes and maybe the color of your hair at the time and your physique even how you communicated w others I knew something was inherently different about you what it may be it could have been the potential of a wife a young teen such as myself imagining a wife which would explain the term love at first sight and now we fast forward through life and we’ve reached milestones and performed things we may regret or reminisce resulting in behavior we now either face the consequences or reap the fruits of our labor man and woman are bound to sin but our awareness and our free time what we do helps in our salvation and I see that in you and I because and this is where it gets fucked up really really fucked up Phoebe because I cannot stand the idea of onlyfans maybe it’s because us as men as an industry not as organically profitable so there’s a small percentage of jealousy-born hatred but you were the exception my heart was destroyed like a knife got pierced into my heart when I saw you had opened an OF but I couldn’t resist like Pandora’s box. I don’t want you to think that I was disgusted nor disappointed just really shocked because to me disregarding all the stupid shit that was said around high school you were always an angel to me and you have the absolute right and are free from any type of objection I respect it nonetheless now this I myself have had a few relationships that lasted a little bit each however none taught me the things I should have learned by myself and still trying to learn.. I’m a hypersexual maniac because of childhood experience not abuse but just sexually exploration with a childhood gal from the time just one of those stories another brick in the wall for our generation something that thousands of years ago would be out of a fucking horror movie kids engaging in sex acts doesn’t matter I have all this energy I waste it away masterbating and masterbating I can never put my degeneracy on pause and be like ok break from this break from gluttony break from sloth on my off days all I do is eat smoke some music my cat family and everything else just horrid abuse of free will on my end I say this because I mirror it to my ignorant judgement of your past choice it’s probably extremely disgusting of me and maybe misogynistic but I justify my past deviances and sexual immorality what I ignorantly deem as in small words a poor choice from such a beautifully angelic girl.. lastly what I admire most is that you do life with girls if I’m not mistaken or if you have a boy I’m sorry but being a mother is something else and I’m unsure if you’re doing this by yourself meaning no fathers present or idk I don’t want to talk about what I don’t need to be forwardly the case being made is that you are the wife that lives in my head when I come home from a long day at work and after I shower feet Cici whatever I lay in bed I see the body that you have the smile you carry the eagerness for fellowship and admittedly with children you are a beacon of hard work and admiration perfection id even say that I wish I could get home too and embrace.. my obsession with you I believe it to be delusional in the aspect I don’t think believe we’re compatible not implying because of conditions I’m delusional where I’ve thought about things to do and places to see worldwide with you and your family kissing you and holding you over a bridge in Brazil near a waterfall while your children are standing over admiring the animals having game night or music night or whatever delulu as the kids are calling it nowadays doesn’t matter im just thankful you are open minded if I caused any offense I’m sorry PS those photos madam i just would like to know if i ought to stop thinking im going to receive them im sorry