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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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if i look back, i am lost
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@brianjordanalvarez

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Ja? Ja. <3
there is so little
not to hate
about eggplant

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
Tiny windows
Into what you actually want
Opening like
No
Art
Allowed
The things I have seen
And I’m not talking
About
Bad things I’m talking about
Lights
On the tiles
Of a tunnel
My life has been defined by caffeine.
Moments; the feeling of flying, sunsets that I never thought I could,
But then they come again.
I remember,
15,
The smell of the air,
Coming down Sewanee mountain in the back of a red Ford Focus,
A maniac teen driver, a brilliant entity,
And the smell of the air,
And the smell of the air,
And I knew
I didn’t want anything.
And I knew,
That was the ultimate feeling and coincidentally,
That same year
I swear it was
We were learning
About enlightenment.
1216am
Laundry washing
I can hear it
Like a modern waterfall
High rise apartment
Wood floors
High ceilings
Cold city
Hot heaters, off, cold
Hot coffee, with milk, warm
Cute mug; blue pattern, like a lace, like an argyle sweater
Wet laundry, you can hear the water pouring over it, in this way
Big competition
Winning
Winning at life
Because I am
Happy.

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458am Berlin time
2019, October 15th
I have been awake most of the night, thinking
I had an extraordinary conversation with Peter yesterday
I was walking around Berlin, he was on the phone in New York
We always get all the way to the bottom of it
To the center
Where it all started
He made me want to make films again, maybe
Which I won’t, or who knows
Something about
Something about
Making art
And clinging to reality, or to moments, or to caring how things are
Which is immature
The best
Is to let it flow through you; it always was
Always is
And this is false
And this is false
And this is false
And we are here, writing poetry
Adrienne rich
Is that how you spell it
I don’t believe in art
I believe in life
I believe in this cold coffee sitting right in front of me
In this hotel lobby
I believe I am alive right now
And Peter said
We have to make friends with
The fear of death
And wasn’t that what I was talking about
All those years ago
Sitting in front of my acting class
Hair blonde
Saying that to die, is the scariest thing, and it’s not scary at all?
And that after you realize that? Then you’re free?
I think the hangup
Is that
Perhaps
Being an a”dult”
Is to believe
That to die
Is not the scariest thing
The scariest thing
Is anxiety
Or jail; being bound and annoyed for a long period of time, worried really
Which is all we ever are when we’re worried about being worried
I remember saying
To Jesse einstein
“I figured it out
We get nervous, about getting nervous. We’re nervous that we’ll get nervous”
Similarly
We are worried that we’ll be worried
Or annoyed that we’ll be annoyed
I don’t know if I wrote that
I’ve been up all night.
There’s a sandwich sitting in front of me, in a box, it’s cut into halves, triangles
Like at a seven eleven
In this hotel lobby in
Berlin
And there’s a boy in my bed upstairs
Who I like
And maybe I came to Europe
To get a breath of fresh air
In a moment
That feels
So tight.
It’s always
Filmmaking stuff
That uses all my fucking money
Lenses
What a waste
If they’re gonna make it for real
You’re not gonna need to buy
lenses.
mother
you can purchase this elegant design at https://teespring.com/the-official-bja-shirt

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vamos
dad