lyfe

No, I don't consider myself as a loner. Maybe a little sprinkle of loser, but eh. Sometimes it can be hard to make new friends or even stay in touch with old ones. And I'm stuck somewhere in between.

I recently started college at a pretty big university, and its been tough making friends. A lot of my old friends go here, but I've had trouble staying in touch with them. It probably doesn't help I don't have phone service atm - no texting, no service, RIP me. I’ve also removed myself from social media, so much so that people are probably questioning if I even existed in the first place. But those are just details *swats at imaginary fly* What? Idk.

*cough* Anyways..

Maybe its the 12 oz too many of RedBull I've had, but I’ve decided to write about what I've learned and gone through without any friends and share this knowledge with the few people I've made up in my head who will actually read this. (Thank you imaginary audience).

Not having friends makes you think a lot. And I mean A LOT. Not the type of thinking you do when deciding something or contemplating life, but the thinking you do because you have no one to talk to and have to keep everything in your head - unless you wanna get admitted to the nearest mental institute. Now, I’ve never been a chatty one, but I still liked having the option to talk to someone. It sucks not having a go-to, but because I don't have one I’ve found it a lot easier to write about things - be it for english class or about myself. (Is that why all you bloggers are so good at writing? JKJK.. but seriously..) I also realized I have a ton of time on my hands. Having friends can be a lot of responsibility. You have to check up on how they're doing, make time to meet up and hang out, and be there for them pretty much 24/7. Without having to worry about all that, I get a lot of “me time” (whatever that is) which basically just turned me into a Netflix junky with social anxiety - but hey, at least its something. However, even with the slight anxiety I get when I talk to people, I’ve noticed it can sometimes be beneficial. Maybe its just me or the lack of human interaction, but when I get nervous when talking to someone nowadays I can keep up a decent conversation - I think its partially because I get overly excited about finally having someone to talk to, even if its only a few minutes. All in all, not having friends hasn't been so bad, its really opened up my eyes on how valuable a friend can be, but also that you don't necessarily need a friend to live a happy-ish life. Moral of the not-so-story story: Don't take your friends for granted, but if you don't have any its okay too, theres plenty of cats in the world for all of us :-)