joyalarm

⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- i’m bread! the best carbohydrate ever, here to cheer up your day with valorant headcannons, scenarios, theories, and more! here are a few rules:

for the interest of many, i will be mostly focusing on headcannons and scenarios! most of them will be nice, happy (or angsty) fillers that will extend character idea and development. but, it also feeds the fan base content, and i’m certainly not the type to say no to that.

any requests may be accepted in the ask box! questions about certain characters or things about me and what i feel about things, nice and simple. however, there are boundaries to requests that i will accept. nothing sensitive and blatantly problematic or anything that i personally feel uncomfortable with, but angst is accepted.

posts may be slow or quick depending on my motivation and schedule, so please have mercy... we are straight vibing out here folks, that’s it!

[ bread reports ]

[ bread reports ]

<3, elle

[ sage, viper, and killjoy x reader I ]

✎↷: i’m good!! i went out on a run today for some Gains and it was honestly refreshing to do before my exam today! which went well, i think? wasn’t expecting this honestly LOLL i read it this morning and i was like oh?? getting the ladies? on another note— wow you guys are so sweet wishing me good luck;; someone said best of luck (misspelling the best so, beat) on your exams and i thought it said beat the fuck out of my exams… which i will! don’t worry guys— although, do expect posts to slow down a bit, i’m doing this post between my reviews <3 (and these hcs are in second person because i’m not about to say ‘yeah, sage and i go on dates every week’. although i wish i could!)

sage

sage is a simple woman, and judging by said simplicity, it’d be easy to turn everything into a date. i hc that she’s someone who shows her love with quality time, and that’s exactly what she does. sage’s preferred date (with me, so my interests are also included here actually) is staged on a sunny day, featuring probably a small business’s food of some kind, or even homemade! trying new foods and eating it with others as the company falls into one of her favorite activities, and it wouldn’t be any different if it was with you!

for that day, you and sage had ended up flying kites and going through a few rounds of volleyball. it was nothing crazy, it was just a simple outing. but filled with joy and love and laughter, you both had ended up falling asleep on a checkered picnic facing the blanketing sun from above. it’s not much, yet around her, it never has to be. in another life, you would’ve loved doing laundry and taxes with her. (hehe.)

killjoy

killjoy’s preferred dates are definitely something of a night in. although she’s generally extroverted as a person, being placed in vibrating raves or bars don’t make for the best environments to really get to know someone. instead, the evening is spent posting video games and watching movies and documentaries and basically anything nerdy under the sun. for the record, killjoy looked like the epitome of sex— mismatched socks and a hoodie and some torn up jeans. you end up spending the entire night like that, huddled against each other and wordlessly holding hands beneath the blanket.

(most times, killjoy would go on to ramble about computer software, the types of camera angles used, and the equipment used in the films you watched. and despite not understanding, her insanely detailed nitpicks put you at a comfortable ease.)

on the few occasions where you two would actually go out, an arcade turns out to be frequent stops. killjoy isn’t insane at video games despite understanding the mechanics, so instead the outing is spent like a competition. and then also losing most, if not all of your funds on claw machines. your losses might feel like a waste, but buying ice cream for her and seeing her smile certainly wasn’t one!

viper

viper's dates are a little more complicated. she’s not your stereotypical romantic, and probably far from it. the whole “art of courtship” actually turns out to be a game of cat and mouse, and by the time dating has solidified, she has no idea what to actually do. so she ends up resorting to the traditional, highly spoken of things. she’s been recommended dinner places, coffee shops, parks, all kinds of places that detail some kind of chatting environment.

it’s a lot of trial and error, figuring out what the perfect date spot is. viper gets so into dissecting which place results in the best chemistry that she nearly forgets that it’s a dare in the first place, honed in on agenda over enjoying herself. it had taken a careful reminder for viper to snap back to reality, although, what can she say to explain herself? perhaps trying all of these new spots had really made the perfect adventure of all.

[ breach x sova I ]

✎↷: sure thing! i’m not sure if it’s a coincidence or not, but there are so many sova-related ship stuff in my inbox!! nothing against it but like, wow, i’m glad you guys enjoy my writing of him. i didn’t know it was that popular??

although it had been meant as an insult when it was directed at him, breach did call sova pretty— a pretty boy specifically! it’s not a secret to anyone that sova holds himself fairly prim and neatly. usually more out of good hygiene and organization than anything else. but even then, it’s hard to keep your eyes off of the guy. initially, breach had fired up a taunt, or some tease (he can’t really remember), yet he had heard a well-natured chime of agreement instead of complaint. yes, breach was used to the battering and the barking and the grit, not.. what sova said. the blonde had inquired if something was wrong , but it was shrugged off. he couldn’t expect arguing from him, given the russian’s docile-leaning nature.

now, don’t get him wrong. breach has been well aware of his feelings for sova for a long while now! and it’s really not difficult to put it together. simply put, he’s a cute guy, and breach is all game for some action so long as sova finds it appealing. it’s not a big deal or anything, and breach is content with seeing his jokes kindly received and sometimes even matched on his own level.

as for sova himself, feelings had turned about much later on. given he had been spending more and more time with the swedish man, eventually it had ended up with catching heart— something stupid retorted underneath breach’s breath that sounded like a laugh had made sova’s heart flutter in on itself, and that’s how he knew he was done for. sova isn’t really the type to make a lot of large, quick advancements, not like how the redhead did so. but for the hunter, it’s strange yet amusing to play the chase-ee.

it’d been a late night returning from a mission that had led to that fateful sharing of feelings. out of the blue, even. sova had been on the verge of dozing off, his head tilting back and forth when he had felt a strong arm wrap around his side, pulling him in in order to rest on the redhead’s shoulder. caught off guard by this development, the russian had given breach a panicked look before the hand slowly began to coax his side up and down, as though he were gently trying to get him to sleep.

slowly but surely, that’s how sova fell asleep: tucked into the crook of breach’s shoulder, one leg over the swede’s and a flustered but endeared man sitting before him. it’s really not so much as ‘sharing’ as it was establishment and since then, they’ve been inseparable.

[ phoenix x sova III ]

✎↷: oh my god you really must’ve waited if you ever see this! i appreciate your kind notes— yeah honestly, caught me at an awful time! but if you do keep up with my page still, here’s your requested firebird <3 this one leans a little towards the how they fell in love more than anything

why is it that sova is charming in basically anything he does? he’s refined, he knows what he’s doing, confident yet silly and smart all at once. it’s basically every quality that phoenix could ever find attracted to in someone, but the funny part of it is that he himself is not. for some reason, all that training from being an actor and his usual suave demeanor falters in the presence of the guy. which is weird, because human kryptonites aren’t supposed to exist.

he’s not nervous. he knows what nerves feel like and that isn’t part of the bunch, but he takes to trying to understanding it from a slower, more patient perspective. and then ends up getting annoyed at himself anyways. sova thinks that phoenix’s basically fight-or-flight when it comes to him is a trademark type of adorableness, even when they end up dating. those butterflies for phoenix doesn’t seem to disappear when he’s in the face of someone so genuine and kind.

because phoenix is used to the fight, the charm, the suave, but sova? it’s effortless. and it makes him a little slack jawed when he watches his partner navigate through social circles, never seeming to over indulge or too much of this or that. it there was a “golden ratio” guy, it’d be him. but despite all the tabloids and articles and news he internally wants to use to pinpoint what sova’s deal is, eventually it ends with resolve. he really is, truly nice, and phoenix wants to uncover it all.

sova’s friendliness has always been somewhat of a default setting. yes, he is plenty capable and most certainly guarded and wary on occasions— a little arrogant, sure. but he had not exactly noticed phoenix’s fixations on him at first, having deemed the man’s presence around him as something that was normal. like a butterfly passing by in search of food. that’s what he thought of phoenix, until there.. wasn’t. just a rather comical man who thought he was being so slick around the hunter, when he was not.

so there’s an even balance. sova, who prefers more laidback and mundane things, while phoenix prefers flashiness and going all out. they’re a pair you probably wouldn’t expect to find with one another, yet there’s room left for compromise. a fancy night out ended with a movie on the couch together, or a morning hike led to a popular lunch spot. both enjoy the sense of new experiences. for phoenix, there’s enjoyment in finding someone who doesn’t push him to be more than who he is, and doesn’t ask for anything. living in the moment, if you will. and for sova, it’s seeing something new, feeling open and proud to someone who understands what the spotlight is like, yet wouldn’t drag you into it at the same time. patience, patience, and love in between.

sova bought phoenix flowers, once. they were some mixed bouquet he picked up off the side of the trail he was traversing, and— “I just thought you’d like them was all. Pretty flowers for a pretty boy,” he had rasped. standing in the hallway to phoenix’s room, all the duelist had done was look down and up and (ugh, those damn butterflies) brought the flowers up to his nose, watching as sova shyly shifted away.

[ bread reports ]

✎↷: ooh okay this is a good one! to preface, i believe their ages range from 20-40 ish, a little more but no less. its neat to see how all the people think about the agents, but given their duties and responsibilities in the world, i feel like a lot of them are from the older crowds!

astra: early-mid thirties, although she has potential to be a primordial space god so who knows!

brimstone: 42-48

breach: 38-45

chamber: 31-37

cypher: 36-42

fade: 27-34

jett: 21-26

kayo: he’s a robot so.. who knows how old his metal is! maybe since creation, a decade or so

killjoy: 21-24

neon: 21-24

omen: 38-43

phoenix: 24-29

raze: 22-26

reyna: 28-39

sage: 27-32

skye: 26-33

sova: 32-39

viper: 30-40

[ omen headcanons I ]

✎↷: thank you for the kind words! don’t mind me while i write these hcs during my dnd session, i’m paying attention i swear

as we’ve seen from omen’s activeness in keeping sage’s plants alive and neon’s squish squish nice and safe, omen holds a surprising amount of empathy. it’s not something that’s very easily displayed, but omen’s presence is always lingering, always listening. although cypher knows a lot based on his security alone, it’s omen who ends up overhearing the most, and therefore has a strangely accurate gauge on the other agents and their interests. they might not know of his vast knowledge of his listening skills, but it’s created somewhat of a one-sided care to them.

so he’s not going to go around with random bouts of advice or anything. instead, favors will be earned— if someone needed something from the store? omen could go with them. running late? have some words of grumbled reassurance! it’s a little awkward and stiff given by his failing social skills, but none of the agents pick on him for it. his effort is genuine and true, and for a mystery like him, having even a bit of care within the cracks and nooks is a reassurance.

omen finds the younger agents to be quite entertaining, although he prefers to observe and watch their antics rather than partake. in that way, he’s become the holder of many of their secrets. like where they hid brimstone’s keys, or who was caught with who in the storage room the other day. they’re small things that brighten up omen’s everyday, knowing that while he would not— could not join them— yet partake in his own special way.

there was one time where jett was putting together a gundam set and after growing increasingly frustrated with it, she had ended up giving up on it for the time being. omen had lingered around the corner, hearing her cry and eventually approaching to put it together on his lonesome. with his larger, shakier claws, it was quite difficult to accomplish. but when jett returned to the project a week later to find the gundam completed, wild eyed and surprised, it seemed she was unable to find the culprit.

[ bread reports ]

[ reyna x viper II ]

✎↷: of course! admittedly over the past year or so my views on their relationship have changed just a little— not in a bad way! just a lot more hurty, pain-y, ouchie moments. i’ll be including some of those thoughts here~

there’s always something a little daunting with being stuck between the two intimidating women. anyone with a reasonable mind would think they hate each other, with all that squabbling and bickering that could drive a reasonably sane person insane. to them, there’s not much that can stop them from arguing over the littlest things, and even then, some of their arguments are shot-back insults instead of a reasonable evidence-based argument or two. despite the exhaustion that these fights seem to encompass, neither of them ever really get the idea that they should stop. so yes, it’s a little senseless to act like children, but— it’s also just a part of their everyday. they could be arguing at one point, and then turning the argument right back against anyone who tries to intervene. it’s a… win-win?

sometimes, though, these arguments reach an unnecessary scale. it’s a gamble in who snaps first, but when it happens, they’ll avoid each other for the day and purposefully leave jagged remarks at one another. talking it out is reserved for when the one who wronged the other feels bad enough to actually apologize, but resolution doesn’t typically take very long before any conflict is forgotten about and they return to their usual antics. surprisingly, reyna is much better than viper at apologizing sooner, although it doesn’t say much— give her a week.

both are equally possessive. when you’ve been fighting on your own for so long, finding someone who can match your competition is oftentimes like a luxury. but with recent lore and the reveal of what’s happening to reyna and her sister, viper has pushed herself into overdrive harder than ever. not only is it important for her to help reyna stay in line and sane, but this is her lover. if she is to leave her behind, then pray tell, who would help either of them? and equipped with odd equipments and resources, viper is set on seeing this through, no matter the cost of what may happen to her.

I kinda wanna ask wat would happen IF jett actually revived someone (maybe sage) during a mission and the agents reactions.

(This ask is mostly crack-ish thinking ahahahahah)

[ bread reports ] (on crack??)

✎↷: not gonna lie to you chief, i think she’s tried. just, you know, popped a full on squat and like went full concentration mode. other agents probably thought jett got randomly screwed up and concentrated, because why is she looking like she’s about to lay one on top of raze? as it turns out, they were all wrong. the wind blows, suddenly scooping the body off of the floor and then… poof! brand new raze, prepared for battle.

With the omen/viper ship.. do you think they would do anything like opisthenar kisses or forehead touches ¿

I’ve seen the amount of requests you’ve gotten for these two and I feel kinda bad for asking more of them

I’ve just fallen in love with them after reading everything ¿

Apologies¡ o(╥﹏╥)o

Oh and have a good day¡¡ Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

[ bread reports ]

✎↷: omg no please i actually really like viper and omen! admittedly i’m not like, crazy good at writing at writing the couple (i’m more of a crackhead if i say so myself) but if i don’t enjoy writing a ship much you’ll usually see me writing them less ;) but absolutely no don’t feel bad about requesting.. it’s some good soup if you ask me

i don’t think they’re a pda couple, but i feel like omen would initiate that kind of stuff in private when they’re really comfortable. given that he lacks a physical form like sabine’s, i think sometimes he just sits there and admires her. with all the love and respect in the world! and with omen, there’s a lot of silent appreciation too. he could walk into the room and just plant a little mwah on her hair, or like a brush against her shoulder, things like that. many soft affections, but they’re certainly there!

[ bread reports ]

[ omen x viper III ]

✎↷: sure thing! be warned— my viper and omen is rusty as all hell, but i’ll give this my best shot!

“Sabine.”

A rumbling, gravely voice disrupts the scientist out of her reverie, trembling fingers shifting away from the vials set before her. When no response is given, the voice rumbles out again, this time closer.

“Sabine.”

This time, the figure standing in her doorway is met with a grunt of annoyance. Evergreen-spine-colored eyes flick to the shadowy form, a frown present on the chemist’s face.

“You’re blocking my light.”

Whatever higher being up there that was responsible for convincing her partner into a death wish must be insane. Safety was not promised even to those closer to Sabine, and so the woman reaches up, intending on purposely moving the wraith aside when he instead decides to evade her push.

Oh, he was asking for it, wasn’t it?

Visibly frustrated, once more does she try to swat at him, only to have her hand gently intercepted by a larger, bandaged one coiling around her wrist.

“You should be asleep by now, Sabine,” the ghost responds to the attempt at an attack, gently holding onto where he had her. “It’s six.”

Pulling her hand away, Sabine musters a scowl, a dark look flashed up at him. “I’m busy. Leave me be.”

Omen makes a noise akin to a laugh, before reaching down and effortlessly pulling the scientist out of her chair, causing the somewhat shorter woman to begin wriggling and moving excessively. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem like his hold would break anytime soon.

“Put me— down, Omen, I mean that.”

Her request goes ignored before she’s hitting a large mattress, the wraith wordlessly clambering in on top of her. Not only can she not move, but she’s still in her lab clothes and her equipment is out and—

“I know you’ve been thinking too much.”

Her thoughts scatter in an instant.

Seeing that as his cue to go on, Omen drags his claws through short hair, coercing her to stay out for the time being. “About finding a cure for Reyna’s sister. Your duty as a scientist. You are losing sleep and you will collapse doing so.”

Sabine’s mouth opens to protest, hardened exhaustion peeling at her eyes. “I do what I need to. Now let me up.”

“I don’t want you to break on me,” he murmurs, too soft for her to pick up on if the room wasn’t dead silent. “You are fragile. I am not.”

“…I am not going to break, Omen. I am not fragile.”

The air in the room shifts. “I have witnessed you break, and fall,” Omen sighs. “I have watched human failure. I can be pieced together. You… You must be mended. I can’t mend you. You will not last forever.”

Sabine’s defenses are falling in instants, her hands slowly lowering from the defensive position over her head. Bitterly, she frowned. “Why would you want me to last forever?”

Such a question is met with a chuckle, that same twist of sadness in his voice. “Have you ever heard of… irreplaceable?”

The chemist goes silent. And then, with a soft heave of a sigh, she’s wrapping her arms around Omen, turning them both over into the bed to where she could carefully tuck her head into his chest.

Omen’s slashes ripple mirthfully. “Convinced?”

He’s met with an eye roll. “Goodnight.”

✎↷: KICKS DOOR DOWN