video review of lover by me
this is the funniest thing you’ll read all day
“how do we move on from an album that’s like you suck you suck my boyfriend’s okay though you suck”
“the opposite of feeling a really strong emotion is feeling NOTHING!!!! rolls back in chair NOTHING!!!!!!!”
“every time i hear the bridge i get an exorcism” (cruel summer)
insert one minute silence as i look for discord messages about cruel summer
“if you think that you don’t like this song, you like this song.” (cruel summer)
“it’s the song that’s immediately like ‘give me your money’ and you’re like 'okay!’” (cruel summer)
“makes me single, yeah” (lover)
and then i started singing the bridge and fell on the floor (lover)
“if i were a man, what would you - what would you think of me?” (the man)
“yes sister spill that sister tea!!!” quieter “i need to stop” (the man)
“i always get annoyed when reviews are so long because it’s like what do you have to talk about? are you so funny you can keep a review going that long? well, yes i am that funny and yes i have plenty of things to talk about, so,”
“taylor swift is the greatest bridger of our time”
i was talking about the production on the man and i ended up saying projection three times
“i feel like we all collectively forgot about the archer after the album was released! like before everyone was saying "THE ARCHER OMG THE ARCHER MY FAYVRITE TRACK FIVE” and now it’s like “say what now arrow”
also i said shrek five instead of track five and i didnt even notice
“i think he knows is a sonical bop, i think he knows have my babies”
“she said rights for YOU points aggressively at self not you you don’t get the rights I GET THE RIGHTS” (miss americana)
“it’s like taylor was sitting in the studio one day and was like what song can i write specifically for my holy ground stan who lives in {redacted} oh i know miss americana and the heartbreak prince”
“i love the violins in miss americana she said string student rights!!!! quieter i was always really bad at strings”
(about the moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met) “imagine like the cops coming into your house like are you doing marijuana? and it’s like what’s the proof? a taylor swift song. and you’re just like i have never met a tyler smith in my life.”“and i don’t plan to start” (paper rings)
“you say where are the wise men taylor they DEAD taylor they DEAD cause you killed them all.
i grabbed my nostrils and made an inhuman noise about paper rings
"except like i would never accept any proposal from a man smiles”
“if you wouldn’t die for cornelia street and kill a random cat to hear it again i don’t want to kNOW YOU”
me, trying to decide on a holy trinity: lists five songs
“i can’t relate to a lot of songs on lover because they’re about being in love” oof
“i know it’s such a cliche to be like this pop star gets me but taylor swift GETS ME”
“if you drink my fifteen dollar target wine i will END YOU” (death by a thousand cuts)
“i was fully expe- prepared” (london boy)
“i was expecting this song to kill me, rip my hair out, and put me in a corner” (london boy)
“the first thing i thought when i heard false god was this sounds like watered down juice” (false god)
instead of talking about false god, i will spend five minutes giving relationship counselling
“i’m assuming it’s a saxophone some people said it was a saxophone i don’t know i’m not a band kid” (false god)
“i keep singing like religion is your lips - wait that’s actually the correct lyric!” (false god)
“i know this song is about sex” (false god)
“it’s like the don’t blame me that everyone is like this is don’t blame me but this is don’t blame me” (false god)
“what i first thought when i heard this song was (insert progression of gasps)” (you need to calm down)
“in shake it off it’s like AH! I DON’T CARE! I’M GONNA SHAKE IT!”
“my favorite line is shade never made anybody less gay because, uh, honey, it didn’t” (you need to calm down)
*spends ten minutes getting distracted and talking about the lover music video*
“can it just look like a VICTORIAN DOLLHOUSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” (lover music video)
“not fun shit i’m looking at the me i’m looking at the me” (afterglow)
*spends another ten minutes relationship counselling*
“it has a very special place in my *gestures to chest* that” (afterglow)
“i was like JOEL LITTLE he cowrote PURE HEROINE and then it was like spelling is fun!” (me!)
“has she ever done an all too well single? ever?” (me!)
“if you hate me you hate fun. me? me is one of the best songs on the album. tied with every other song on the album. i’m saying that with a completely heterosexual face. i mean straight face.” (me!)
“me is like, you’re a disaster! we both know you’re a disaster! but you know you? you are the only one of you.” (me!)
“fuck everyone who doesn’t like me” (me!)
“thank you taylor for supporting the kids of toronto when the premier won’t gets up and leaves” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“it’s NOT IT’S A GOOD SONG YOU ALL JUST HATE FUN!” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“maybe you guys are just old because you can’t relate to video games! have some fucking fun! not every song has to be an all too well! not every song has to be a clean! sometimes it’s okay to have FUN.” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“and then i loved it! and you all SUCK!” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“like, that’s angelic bitch” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“you all should start putting some damn respect on her name” (it’s nice to have a friend)
“i have to be honest with you guys, i’m a daylight stan now.” (daylight)
*has a three minute breakdown over album closers*
“i don’t have a lover” oof (daylight)
“daylight is like i’m gonna step into the daylight and let it go, it’s alright, hakuna matata” (daylight)
“and i’m just like god bless jack antonoff!” (daylight)
“favorite album album ever, i’m the only one of me bitch!”
“yeah that’s terrifying that’s fucking terrifying”
stormborns
romaincrisis
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
