trash witch

Slipping them that extra little “good job” after basic tasks and watching their cheeks get hot and their eyes dart around the room.

Asking them to grab a drink and watching the jolt in their step when they register the word “fetch” a second too late.

The back and forth debates and silly arguments ending in cutting them off with a simple “you’re so cute when you get excited”

Ian: No... Well... you can't really make cereal. You just pour it in a bowl and put milk on it.

Me: Okay well I should probably put some in a bowl and put milk on it.

Ian: Um... What?

Me: Well I was on Tumblr, and --

Ian: Stop. Stop. If the story starts with "I was on Tumblr" I just... don't think I can handle it.

Me: (While he's telling me to stop) Listen. No. Listen. Listen. Listen. -tells him about the Wincest-prompt gay porn fiasco-

Me: And then I had to show it to Trinnie because the guy on top looked like Evan Peters... like he could be his brother. And she's in love with Evan Peters. So her and I were just... so taken aback by it. And going back and forth about the dialogue and then the fact that he looked the way he did.

Ian: Yes. And it's the stupidest movie ever.

Me: No it's not.

Ian: It's dumb. That doesn't actually happen.

Me: It's cute.

Ian: No. Toasters aren't real. They don't talk.

Me: But it's a cart-- Wait... Did you just say "Toasters aren't real"?

Ian: Shut up.

Me: Toasters aren't real!?

Ian: Sweetheart, I think it's the wrong season for reindeer.

Me: Well there's something up there!

Ian: It's probably a raccoon.

Me: (After my grandpa comes in) Grandpa, there's re-- -breaks down into uncontrollable fit of laughter-

Grandpa: What?

Me: -still laughing-

Grandpa: What's wrong?

Me: N-nothing. There's... There's reindeer on the roof!

Hey beautifuls,

I’ve compiled a checklist in booklet format of pretty much anything I could think of or find online that you could include in your Grimoire/book of shadows. Please note that this is a very very broad list and you do not need to include absolutely everything listed. Pick and choose what matches your craft!

also if you would like a non-watermarked PDF print version (digital file) I’m offering this for just $3 AUD. You can direct message me here on tumblr or on my Insta account “@beautifulvalleywitch”.

Otherwise enjoy this free version lovely’s 🥰🥰