boygrrl

v4v dracula and nosferatu yaoi

ugh. ill never be a vamp. i cant even suck good. my W’s arent even V’s. i have got to be transylvaniamaxxing. “i wa— *ahem* i VANT to… nevermind. how much blood should i be sucking per week to maximize eternal youth? fuck i think my toes are rotting off. do you think my coffin is too small? should i take the tombpill?

my girlfriend has to eat out of an auto feeder

im on lazy bones type timing

coffee and a cigarette will have you feeling like a really big ant

pondering slime technology

you make a great point. Unfortunately im turning you into a meatball on top of spaghetti all covered with cheese

compelling argument. unfortunately, i recreated your body using ground beef and mashed it into paste