The Other Man

This is a side blog, just like I’m the side dude.  I’m ok with that.  

I’ve been a lot of things over the years.  Still a father, a good one.  Before that I was a husband.  Not a good one.  Strong provider, lousy spouse.  I took her for granted.  No way would she cheat one me.  No way would she leave me, she was lucky to have me.  Wrong.

She cheated, I forgave her.  I even changed, for a while.  But the trust is broken once the cheating occurs.  Then I found someone else and it was all good for a while.  That didn’t last though, I went back to my wife.  Which also didn’t last.

Now divorced, I’m friends with my ex and living life to the fullest.  Money in the bank, but that wasn’t always the case.  It also doesn’t buy happiness.  Since my divorce I’ve dated a lot.  A...LOT.  Mostly single, but some married, many with boyfriends.  Some older, most younger.  Covid has slowed that some, but I’m back on my bullshit.  

I have a tendency to romanticize things.  In particular the search for a new girl.  It can be very lonely being me.  That’s all the time, not just during a pandemic.  I’ve talked to so many women over the past few months and one after another aren’t what I’m looking for.  Those that seemed just right didn’t work out either.

Most recently that was Torie.  We had great energy together.  The sex was good too and I was looking forward to seeing more of her.  But she, A has a boyfriend, and B Lupus.  So she’s been sick.  Too sick to meet and to explain where she’s going when there’s nowhere we can go except a hotel, pretty much.  Try explaining that to your live in sig-other.  

I was recently seeing a 25 years young woman with health issues. Our time together was fun and the sex was good. But those times went from days to nearly weeks apart. Finally she decided she needs to step back and focus on her health.  I agree with that assessment.  While being patient with her, wanting it to work out, sympathetic to her health concerns, I started looking for a new sugar.

The new woman I'm now talking to is 29, Korean and British ethnicity, and a middle school teacher. She was also a classmate of my oldest daughter.

When we first began chatting I saw her pics and thought she looked familiar. Viewing her social media I saw how outgoing and energetic she is. It really attracted me to her. I danced around the schooling while wondering if it was going to be an issue with her. Seems it's not the case as she blurted out that she remembers coming to our house as a teen to do school projects.

My wife was cheating...again.  I was blue, really blue.  Dare I say contemplating suicide.  I decided instead to let my eye wander.  I did so over to a coworker.  Her name was Alex.  She was Mexican, maybe 6-7 years younger, dark features, big beautiful eyes, and absolutely had no idea who I was.  I spent a couple weeks sending her anonymous notes and gifts.  Her supervisor, a friend of mine, knew it was me and kept it completely quiet, she was great about the whole thing.  

Fast forward to several weeks after that.  I pursued her hard and succeeded.  We’re now carrying on a torrid affair.  You ever had sex with someone the first time and been in sync perfectly?  It was crazy.  Passionate, raw, emotional, she made me think I had the best dick on the planet.  She would orgasm three times per session, swear to god.  I stayed hard from the sheer will to please her. I actually tapped out once and swore to myself I never would again.  And I didn’t.

Her name was Vanessa. She was 28 I think. I met her the first night I was out with her friend Jessica. Jessica was a couple years older than V and beautiful. But she was not in Vanessa's class. When V came over to J to say hello I damn neared pushed J away never to be heard from again.

Vanessa had the type of beauty that makes grown men do things they swore they never would. I'm grown men.

Let me back up a little. I met Jessica on Tinder. Both swiped, I messaged but she didn't respond. Sent another message a week later something to the effect of if you don't take this chance how will ever know if I was The One. Anyway, she replied, we made a plan to meet at Dave & Busters the next Friday. She was super late arriving.  Not fashionably late, like super late. I was pretty tipsy on vodka Red Bulls when she did arrive. We gamed, drank, laughed, took pics. It was fun. Then she suggested we go to a club in downtown Milwaukee. We drove together in my car. The club is a Mediterranean restaurant by day called Casablanca.

I didn’t always have a thing for younger women.  Wait, thinking back now...maybe I did.  Hmm.

Ok, let’s start over.  I mostly date women younger than me.  I’ve dated my age and older, but they don’t like to do many of the things that I like.  Namely, (Pre-Covid) visit a club, dance, stay up late.  Perhaps an unfair generalization, but it’s been my experience.  

Another reason was I needed the confidence boost after splitting with my wife.  The fact that someone 25, 32, 28, 40, etc was interested in going to dinner, a club, a ballgame, and so forth with me was just what I needed to feel superficially better about my situation.  I used a number of dating sites to get these dates.  Whatsyourprice was one of them.  Basically you agreed to a set dollar amount for a first date.  Could be $60, might be $120.  You just reached an agreement and paid after the date. Sex was never discussed.  Obviously I hoped it would happen and with several it did.  

From that first date I started a couple different ongoing relationships, including a married mother of three.  I would pay their expenses to meet me at my home or wherever the date would be.  I wouldn’t consider it being a Sugar Daddy, but in hindsight I guess it was.  It wasn’t a big deal to me.  I wanted to attend this event and having a beautiful woman on my arm was important to me.  I was already paying for the dinner and tickets, what’s the big deal with paying the travel too?   

It wasn’t a big deal I said earlier, but it kind of was in that I was broke.  I was in the middle of the divorce, my expenses were being calculated, and I had just started a new job.  It was rough and I was cheap.  Today I still do some of this.  In fact I use a better site where the ladies are pretty openly lobbying for a sugar daddy.  I make it clear that I’m about dating.  I already have kids, not looking for another.  I’ll happily provide a monthly allowance and pay for gifts and trip provided we have a real connection.