Box Full O' Honey

Of course, there was always one or two guests who had to be watched and this year the Bowers gang was the caution.  Julie and Kathy spotted them early, and made sure to keep a good distance.

Partially because it was his sister’s first party, and partially because he didn’t trust Billy, Nick showed up with Beth for a while before leaving for Portland.  But he really needn’t have bothered - Julie was on good behavior.  She avoided the ever clear punch, having self-limited herself to two wine coolers this evening. She had big plans, and didn’t want to be stupid drunk for it. It was just fortunate Nick didn’t know about her plans for later...,

Billy, on the other hand, had no such reservations.  He turned out to be an experienced drinker, showing off beer chugging abilities that seemed to have very little effect on him.  He also had an amazing knack for being the life of the party without neglecting Julie in the least; he was by her side most of the evening, and danced with her as often as she wanted.  

The trouble didn’t surface until long after Nick had left.  Julie didn’t notice when it started, but she realized Billy was spending a good bit of time in deep conversation  with a group of seniors.  She couldn’t imagine what was so interesting.

Finally Billy made his was over to her with a big smile.

“Hey!  Mark and them were just telling me about another, even better party that they’re heading to just up the road.  Sounds like a lot of fun. Whattaya think about going for a little while?”

She frowned.  “Another party?  Where?”

“They say it’s a place called the River Club.”

“The River Club?” Julie was horrified. “But that’s a BAR, Billy - a biker bar; It’s supposed to be really dangerous.  And we can’t go to a bar anyway.”

“Come on, Julie - it’ll be fun.  They say they go all the time and no one ever checks ID’s, and the music is great.”

“The music is great here.”

“Oh come on!  This is a Micky Mouse gig - it’s boring.  The River Club’ll be more fun.”

“You’re bored?  Here, with me?”

He sighed.  “I’m bored with the scene, not you.  This is just a bunch of kids.  Don’t you think it’ll be more exciting to live a little?  Do something a little dangerous?”

“No, Billy; I can’t.  You can’t imagine what would happen if I got caught.  And the police raid that place all the time.”

“You won’t get caught.”  Billy said, rolling his eyes.  “And it’s early, trouble never happens at places like that until after midnight.  We’ll be long gone by then...,”

“But I thought we were going back to my house.”  Her tone was hurt.

He took a deep breath, trying not to be annoyed.  “We have all weekend for that.  I’d just like to see this place.”

“Billy.., “ she reached out and took his hand, “I can’t.  I just can’t take the chance.  There’s no way so there’s no point in keeping on talking about it.”

He looked at her for a moment, and she could see the wheels in his head turning.  He glanced over her shoulder and she followed his gaze to see the group of seniors standing over by the car park, obviously waiting for Billy to join them - with or without her.  He considered briefly, then said:

“Okay, well - I’m gonna go.  I’ll be back in a little while.”

She was aghast.  “You’re leaving?  You’re leaving me here, alone?”

“Oh, you know plenty of people here.  You won’t miss me.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

She frowned, thoroughly offended.  “Well I’m not waiting for you.   If it’s so important that you go, don’t bother coming back.  I’ll get a ride home with someone else.”

“Oh come on - I won’t be that long.”

“I’m not waiting.”

“Okay, okay.  I’ll come by your house later.”

“You will NOT.”  She said, loud enough for a couple of people at the back of the crowd to turn away from the band and look at them.  She lowered her voice and continued:  “If you leave me here, even for ten minutes, do not bother coming over.  Ever.  And don’t bother calling me again, either.”

He shook his head.  “Are you serious?”

“As serious as you are.”

They stood, staring one another down, until Billy glanced over at the seniors again.  They were watching with interest, and she could guess that if Billy didn’t join them, he would lose face for letting ‘his bitch tell him what to do’.

He weighed his options, then made his choice.  “Okay then, well - I guess I’ll see you around.”

He walked away in the direction of the parking lot, and Julie noticed one of the girls - a tall red head - smile to see he was approaching alone.    Billy bumped shoulders with her as he passed and she followed him to his car.

Julie stood there for a moment, fighting back fury and tears.  Boy, you really know how to pick ‘em, don’t you? She thought to herself.  She remained in place, unwilling to believe he would actually go, until she saw the Camaro pull out onto the road (the red head sitting much too close to Billy for them to be casual acquaintances).  Then she  returned to the barn in search of Cheryl and Kathy.

Unfortunately, she discovered by way of friends that they’d already left.  Julie looked around, but could find no one else she wanted to ask for a ride back to town - she knew plenty of people who would be willing, of course, but she’d have to explain the circumstances.  She searched in vain for 20 minutes, then began to think there was no other option; she was going to have to admit to someone that Billy had ditched her.

And then she remembered:  There was a convenience store/gas station a couple of miles up the road from where she could call Cheryl to come and get her.  Problem was, everyone from Derry would be taking the highway back to town and she didn’t want to be seen walking along the highway because again - she’d have to explain why.

But she  knew was a lighted bridle path that wound through the woods paralleling the highway; the entrance was just on the other side of the parking lot, and it came out next to the convenience store.  She knew it because she’d been out here riding with Kathy, and they’d taken the path a few times.  It was a popular trail for people who liked to ride after dark, which was why it was lighted.  

No one seemed to be paying any attention to her, so she struck out between the cars and found the entrance to the trail very quickly.  A final glance around showed she was alone, so she entered  the woods.

After only a few steps the noise from the party was completely silenced; not much pierced the thick trees that surrounded the trail.   She pulled her coat tight around her and prepared herself for a cold walk, thanking heaven that at least there was no snow on the ground, and that predators were scarce this time of year. She could be in real trouble if it were summer - bears were plentiful in this area.  Julie wasn’t sure if they saw color, but most of what she was wearing was bright pink - a color not too different than salmon.  Plus her perfume smelled sweet, which could definitely be a bear attractant.  

“C’mon Julie,” Billy said dryly, “if you go getting excited about this stuff I’m gonna be jealous, then I’ll have to track down whoever is leaving it and kick his ass for trying to snake my girl.”

She laughed and kissed him lightly. “Whoever is doing this isn’t trying to steal me; anonymous never gets the girl.”

The truth was, she’d told very few people about the gifts, not wanting to make a big deal of it. She preferred not to know who was leaving them; she liked the mystery. It seemed so simple, a pure and innocent act at a time when her life was shifting to a decidedly adult direction.

“No, but maybe they won’t always be anonymous. Maybe they’re just waiting until you’re enchanted by these romantic gestures to step up and steal your heart.” His tone was teasing, but his eyes weren’t.

“Well I know it isn’t you doing this, but you sure seem to know how it works. Why is that, Hargrove?” She turned and put her arms around his neck.

“Because it’s something I would do.”

She laughed. “No; if you wanted to steal a girl, you’d be more likely to just offer her rides home and be nice to her friends and walk her to classes and tell her how cute she is until she falls under your spell.” She rubbed her nose against his, and he closed his eyes and laughed.

“Well…, that DID work pretty well I guess…,”

“Yeah - you guess. Now let me grab my stuff so we can blow this pop stand. I’m so glad it’s Friday.” She put some books into her bag and Billy slung it over his shoulder. Then he twined his fingers with hers and they started for the front exit, nearly bumping into Tyler and a couple of his friends.

“Oh - hey Ty,” Julie said, cheerfully but clearly uncomfortable. Ty just smiled and nodded.

“Have a great weekend, Julie,” he said, then continued on his way. He didn’t look at Billy at all.

Once he was out of earshot, Billy remarked: “Well, I guess I can’t blame the guy - I’d probably hate me, too.”

“Oh, I don’t think he hates you. He’s never said a bad word about you as far as I know.”

Billy’s laugh sounded a little cruel. “Yeah, that’s the kind of guy ol’ Ty is - just wants everyone to be happy. Even his ex-girlfriend and the guy who stole her from him. Honestly…,” he lowered his voice, “…makes him seem like a pussy, y’know? And I bet you’ve thought that yourself.”

Julie wanted to laugh, because he was right - Ty’s lack of fire really had been the reason she left him. But it seemed cruel to make fun; he was one of the nicest guys she’d ever known. She felt bad that she couldn’t return his feelings.

Ty hadn’t even shown anger the night she broke up with him; hadn’t raised his voice, threatened, scolded, begged or cajoled. He HAD asked if there was someone else though, and she’d been honest with him - she owed him that much. When she said Billy’s name, Ty had closed his eyes and sighed.

“Why, Julie? Why him?”

She had no answer, and said as much. Ty had taken her hand then, and put it on his chest, over his heart.

“Julie, I don’t want you to do this, although I know I can’t stop you. But I need you to know something: I’m worried. There are things I see - I’m not even sure why - but it makes me afraid for you. Afraid you’re heading for trouble. Just…, be careful, and know that if you need me, I’m here. Don’t let anyone hurt you, and if you think you’re getting in over your head, you can always call me for help, okay?”

She smiled and took his face in her hands. “Thank you, Ty. But what do you mean, ‘getting in over my head’? What are you afraid of?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know, really. I just want you to be careful.”

And that had been the end of their relationship. The actual breaking up with Ty had been easier than telling her parents, or Cheryl and Beth, and most of all Nick, who’d been so angry he had barely spoken to her for two weeks after he found out she was seeing Billy. Only Kathy seemed to understand…,

She gave Billy a stern look.

“Don’t be a jerk; Ty could have created a lot of drama out of this if he’d been so inclined. Just let’s just be happy he’s such a nice guy.”

Billy nodded as they stepped through the doorway into the late autumn sunlight. They were surprised to find Cheryl and Kathy standing at the top of the steps.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Billy asked; normally they waited in the parking lot, at the car. These days it was usually the four of them, since Beth generally caught a ride home with Nick.

Cheryl said something, but Julie didn’t hear her; she was distracted by Kathy, who rolled her eyes towards where Billy’s car sat in the parking lot. One glance told her why her friends stayed at the door: Directly to the right of the Camaro was Belch Higgins’ car. The whole gang stood around it; Vic and Belch were talking to a couple of girls, while Patrick and Henry were leaning back against the Trans Am, looking for all the world like movie villains hatching evil plans.

“Shit,” Julie whispered; the car had not been there when Billy parked this morning.  Kathy just nodded.

As Billy and the girls walked toward the car, Patrick pushed off the Trans Am and ambled toward them. What in the hell now? Julie wondered, feeling Billy’s arm tighten around her waist.

“Hey baby, how you doin’?” Patrick directed his greeting at Julie.

She spoke in her chilliest tone: “I’m just fine, thank you. And since when do you call me baby?”

Patrick smirked and looked at Billy. “She’s real sweet, ain’t she?”

“You have no idea.” Billy said curtly, “But I’d kinda like to know why you think it’s okay to call her baby, too.”

Patrick feigned offense. “Hey man, I’m just being friendly. What’s the big deal?”

Kathy spoke up. “The ‘big deal’ is that you are NEVER just being friendly, Patrick Hockstetter. You’re always up to something and…,”

Her voice broke off abruptly as Patrick raised his hand to her face in the universal “be quiet” gesture, but he never looked at her - his eyes remained fixed on Julie.

“Let’s just keep that mouth shut, okay Blondie? Unless, o’ course, you want me to unleash the dog.”

Kathy and Julie both looked over at Henry, who hadn’t moved. But whereas Patrick hadn’t so much as glanced at Kathy, Henry was looking at nothing but. Julie saw Kathy shrink back.

Billy recognized a bad scene in the making and quickly unlocked the doors on the left side of his car.

“Come on, ladies, let’s get the hell outta here,” he said, signaling for Julie to slide over the front seat from the driver’s side. Patrick just stood there with an unsettling smile on his face as he watched them drive away.

“Well, that was weird,” Cheryl said as they pulled out of the parking lot. “What the hell is going on with those guys? They’ve just been getting worse and worse since school let out last summer. “

Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. Like you said, it’s weird. Well … weirder than usual.”

“No kidding,” Cheryl laughed, then turned her attention to her sister; she reached out for Kathy’s hand. “You okay sissy? You’re awful quiet.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…, having Henry Bowers staring me down isn’t exactly how I like to start my weekends.” As Kathy spoke, she and Julie locked eyes in the rear-view mirror and a meaningful look passed between them; they each knew the other was thinking about that day last summer in Old Mrs. Benson’s yard. Then, almost simultaneously , they both saw Billy watching them and dropped their eyes. Neither girl wanted to talk about the event, least of all to Billy.

The ride home was mostly silent after that, even after Billy dropped off Cheryl and Kathy. He was annoyed, Julie could tell - he was fidgety, smoking one cigarette after the other and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Not exactly how I like to start my weekends, she thought, echoing Kathy’s sentiment of earlier.

He pulled into her driveway and killed the engine.

“So what’s up with Hockstetter? Am I gonna have to kick his scrawny ass?” He asked the question as casually as he might ask if she wanted a glass of water.

She shook her head. “No! Why would you want to do go and do that?”

“What, you don’t want me to hurt him?” Billy was more than annoyed - he was angry.  She suspected there was more to it than what happened in the parking lot, but he never wanted to discuss any problems he might have. In fact for all they’d been dating a month, she knew remarkably little about his home life; Billy was more of a listener than a talker.

She rolled her eyes. “No, Billy - I couldn’t care less what happens to that idiot.” And one day I might really mean it when I say that. “But the school is serious about punishing students that fight, and I don’t want you getting into trouble because of such a moron. Just forget about it.”

“It’s not easy to just forget about it when he’s always tryin’ to crawl up your skirt. What the hell is that about?”

“I dunno Billy - today’s Friday? The wind is blowing from the south? Who KNOWS why Patrick does anything he does, except that he is a genuine, home-grown lunatic. Have you really not heard the stories about him?”

Billy shook his head.

“OK well, like I said, he’s completely bonkers. Has been all his life. When he was a little kid, he would go around collecting roadkill unless the county got there first. But what he really liked was if the animal was still alive; he’d drag it off to the woods to do god-knows-what. Also, up until about the time his Mom died, he used to carry around a ruler and kill flies with it.”

“That doesn’t sound so weird.” Billy said, lighting another cigarette.

She snorted with frustration. “I’m not finished. He would kill the flies, then stick them in a pencil case and carry them around, showing them off to other kids like trophies or something. I don’t think he ever emptied the box, the flies just stayed in there until they fell apart and turned into dust. I think he even talked to them, like they were pets.” She shuddered. “And he was really bad about touching any girl he could get close to - I mean, he still is, but now he’s sneaky about it. Back then it was like he didn’t even understand it was wrong - he’d just start stroking your hair, or you’d feel a hand on your leg or the back of your neck. Teachers would always seat him far away from any girl in class. All the girls were terrified of him, he was so creepy.”

“He seems to do okay now; I mean, I see him with girls all the time. They don’t look scared.”

“Yeah. Fortunately for Patrick, he hit puberty and turned out okay looking - some girls think he’s pretty cute, if they’re into creeps. They say he’s basically a sex maniac, so it’s good he can get some girls. Otherwise we’d probably be fishing bodies out of the Kenduskeag.”

Billy was pensive, blowing smoke rings and watching them float out the car window. “So what are you trying to say?”

“What I’m saying is his reaction TO me doesn’t really have anything to do WITH me personally, it’s just that I’m a female and females get him going . I mean, Patrick Hockstetter would do it with a hobby horse if you painted “girl” on the side.”

“Okay. I mean, I guess I get it.” But despite his words Billy kept looking at her, as if he knew there was more to the story. She sighed.

“And I guess…, well, he might be carrying a grudge against me because I was kinda mean to him once when we were younger…,”

She told Billy about the pencil incident, how she’d been bitchy and even cruel to Patrick. She even had the good grace to be ashamed, bowing her head when she finished telling the tale.

“Well - that WAS pretty shitty of you; so I guess I can give him a break. As long as he leaves you alone from now on.” Billy took a final drag off his cigarette and ground it out in the ashtray. “So - you still want me to rent some movies and come over tonight?”

**************

“Billy.., Billy STOP!” Julie caught his hands - the ones heading up her shirt again - in hers and moved them away. “My parents could be home any minute!”

“Okay then - why don’t we just go up to your bedroom and lock the door?” He crooned seductively, his tongue caressing her ear.

“Uh - no; that would be worse. Imagine my Dad seeing your car in the driveway, and coming in to find us up in my room with the door locked?”

“Well, we could go somewhere - go park out by the Quarry or something?”

She gave him an incredulous look. “Be serious - it’s cold as hell tonight. And besides, I told you: My first time isn’t gonna be in a car.”

Billy grunted in frustration and sat up on the couch, staring blindly at the television screen as Michael Meyers stalked his niece. Julie sat up as well, watching him expectantly. In the time they’d been dating they’d gone no further than deep kissing and a little bit of fully-clothed petting, and it was getting harder and harder to hold him back; she knew he wasn’t used to waiting. But tonight she had a surprise for him, and she suspected this was the moment she’d been waiting for to break the news.

Finally he turned his attention back to her.

“Come on, Jules - how long are you gonna hold out on me? I mean, we’ve been going out for a while, I think I’ve proved I’m not just after one thing.  And I don’t wanna be a jerk, but don’t you even want to…, you know….?”

She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m not ‘holding out on you’, Billy. But it’s like I told you: The time has to be right. And yes, I do want to ‘do it’; but that has to be right, too. Buuuuuuut, I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot lately, and I think I have the perfect solution.”

His eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. “Yeah? Well, don’t keep me waiting!”

“Okay, So you know my folks - and most of the adults in town - are going to the Spruce Point Inn in Boothbay Harbor for a big weekend regional Rotary Club Conference. It happens every year around the first week of December. Derry is practically deserted of adults that weekend.”

Billy frowned. “Is that the weekend of the party at Leo’s farm?”

“Exactly. There’s a party at Leo’s every year during the conference. That way there aren’t really any parents to come snooping around and causing trouble.”

“Okay.”

“Okay so - I happen to know that Nick is planning to sneak off to Portland with Beth that weekend. Which means that I would be home alone, but to keep my parents - and Kathy and Cheryl’s parents - happy, I’ve said I’ll spend the weekend with Cheryl and Kathy. So no body worries.”

Billy was starting to fidget. “So…., how does that help us?”

“Well, neither the Tate’s or my folks will be around to actually KNOW if I stay over there, right?”

“Makes sense, sure.”

“So…,” Julie straddled Billy’s lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his throat, “Cheryl and Kathy have already said they’ll cover for me. And wouldn’t it be romantic if, after Leo’s party, you and I came back to this big, empty house and spent the weekend together? What would you say to that?”

It had been the bracelet - nothing extraordinary, just crystal beads strung on elastic - but she’d been delighted when she’d found it inside the unsigned card in her locker.  The clear beads shimmered in a rainbow of colors in the light, and it felt like magic to her.  She’d worn it more-or-less constantly since the day she found it. 

One day Ty had noticed;   “Pretty,” he’d remarked. 

“Isn’t it?  Someone has a good eye for cute stuff.”  She’d said, kissing  him on the cheek. 

He looked confused.  “What was that for?” 

“Well - this, of course.”  She held up her wrist. 

He’d responded by saying he hadn’t given it to her, and she could tell by his expression he wasn’t being disingenuous; he really hadn’t.  She’d stammered some excuse about getting birthday gifts mixed up; for some reason she didn’t want him to know about her “secret admirer.” Just another in a series of secrets she kept from him.  It made her feel guilty.  She didn’t love him - she knew she never would - but he was just so safe, so convenient.  But she knew it was unfair to keep stringing him along like this, especially given the matter of Billy Hargrove.

If she was completely honest, she had to admit she’d been attracted to Billy since the moment she set eyes on him; many girls were.  That wasn’t the problem.  The problem had come in when she realized he was attracted to her as well.  

He was smooth as hell, and a natural flirt; his emotional pull was immense and the longer she was in his orbit, the stronger that pull became.  She replayed the afternoon he’d kissed her over and over in her head, wondering what might have happened if she’d kissed back?

Of course, the obvious answer was to stay away from him; stop accepting rides, stop sitting next to him in the cafeteria, make herself unavailable when he called.  He had so many girls clamoring for his time that she figured he wouldn’t even notice.  

But he did.

Somehow, Billy managed to be persistent without being obnoxious, and she had no resistance to him.  He made it all seem so harmless, even Ty couldn’t find reason to object to their friendship.  Billy hadn’t even tried to kiss her since the day of the Winterport game, but it was clear that he wanted to.

He wasn’t the only one who wanted it, either.

So Julie was left in a dilemma:  Remain safe and keep seeing Ty, or break it off and take a chance with Billy?

*******************

“Finally!” Julie said, locating the file she’d been searching 20 minutes for, the one Mrs. Joyce sent her to the long-term storage closet to find.   She hated coming here, and thanked heaven it wasn’t necessary to do it regularly - only when Admin needed a really old record for one reason or the other.  

The storage closet was in the back of the school, across from the gym and next to the boiler room and even though it was not exactly remote, it felt like it.  Especially when the boiler was running, roaring and banging and clanging so loud she could barely hear herself think - but at least the boiler isn’t running today.   She closed and locked the filing cabinet back up, then turned to leave the store room.  She nearly screamed to find Patrick lounging against the wall next to the doorway.

For the briefest second she was glad to see him - but only for a second.  She steeled her heart, flipping back through her mental Rolodex of hate to remind herself of every rumor she’d heard, every slut she’d seem him slobbering over since school started.  She set her face in what she hoped was the ugliest expression she could muster.

“Holy hell Patrick - why you gotta go sneaking up on people?  How long have you been there?”

He just shrugged, pushing the door closed.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” She asked.

“Yeah, I guess.  But I didn’t feel like dressing out today, so Coach sent me to the library,”  he laughed.

“So why aren’t you in the library?”

“Well, I was on my way, but then I saw you in here.”  He gave her a wolfish smile and walked toward her so the only thing between them was an old desk.  “Don’t you miss me baby?”

She scowled.  “What do you want?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Well then, maybe you have a better chance at answering it.”

He didn’t like that.  

“I dunno; I just thought I could spend some quality time with my Princess, you know - it’s been a while.”  His eyes were fixed on her, and when she looked into those eyes she saw a vision of her lying on the desk, her skirt bunched up around her waist and his head between her legs.  She shook her head to clear it.

“Yeah - I don’t think so.  If you so much as touch me, I‘ll start screaming at the top of my lungs.  I’ll have half the school here before you can blink.”

He smirked.  “Yeah - I don’t think so.  Have you forgotten, I still have your bathing suit? You ready to explain that to half the school?  To your brother?  To your Daddy?  To your little boyfriend?   Hey…, “ he paused for a moment, staring at her, “Who is your boyfriend, anyway?  Everyone says it’s the quarterback, but lately you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with that jerk-off in the Camaro.  Just what are the two of you getting up to?”  

“That - believe it or not - is none of your business.”  She retorted. “Nothing I do is any of your freakin’ business.”

He didn’t like that, either.  He started toward her, and she nearly fell backward scrambling away from him.

“I’m serious, Patrick - stay back unless you want to have security all over you.”

“And I’ll be glad to show ‘em the trophy I got from last summer.” He grinned, sure he had her in a stalemate.  But he was in for a surprise.

“Fine,” she shrugged, “Show someone - show everyone.  I’ll just say you stole it from off the line or something while you were creeping around in our yard, because that’s the kind of thing you do.   And you wanna tell them about last summer, too?  Go right ahead!  I’ll just deny it.  It’ll be the word of a low life cretin against a cheerleader - who do you think they’ll believe?”

And now she had him.  The anger in his eyes didn’t even scare her anymore - he wouldn’t dare touch her here, where the threatened scream would indeed bring the troops.  Now she had the power, and she liked it.  When she smiled, It was more than a little evil.  

“See, somewhere down the line I realized how dumb I was, being afraid you would tell someone about what happened at the quarry.  That was sexual assault, by the way, and I bet even you aren’t dumb enough to admit to it.”  She continued.

“But there was all those other times, when you came to my house…,” he began.

“No!” She shook her head vehemently.  “No, there weren’t; that never happened.  You’re lying, and I’ll swear to it if you try to run your stupid mouth.  Like anyone would believe I would let Patrick Hockstetter anywhere near me, anyway.  You overplayed your hand, slick - and now you got nothin’.”

She picked the paperwork up off the table, flicked her hair over her shoulder, and walked to the door.

“Wow.  You’ve turned into a real cunt, haven’t you?”  He said; she could have sworn she heard admiration in his voice.

“Yeah well,” she smiled her sweetest, “I had a real good teacher.   So don’t ever speak to me again, do we understand one another?” She echoed Kathy’s words from that day on Jackson Street, and it pleased her to see his spine stiffen in anger.

“This ain’t over.” She heard him say as she stepped out into the hallway.

“Yes, it is.”  She replied, closing the door on him.  She sighed, relieved she’d gotten out of there without his finding out how very much she’d wanted him to touch her…, ******************* Billy was waiting for her outside the Office when third period let out.  

“You’re in a really good mood,” he commented as they walked to the cafeteria. 

She smiled.  “Yeah, it’s just a good day, you know?  A really good day.”  She didn’t add that what made it a particularly good day was the look on Patrick Hockstetter’s face when she shut him down.   “And here I thought you were just happy to see me,” he teased. 

She was still feeling flushed from her encounter with Patrick, and couldn’t help herself:  She winked at Billy. 

“Maybe - just maybe - I am.”

He moved in closer and lowered his voice.  “You better be careful how you talk to me; a man can only take so much.”

She batted her eyes at him.  “Oh, I’m not too worried about it.  Something tells me it would take a lot to break you.”

“Julie Dunnavant - if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were flirting with me.  What would Tyler say about that?”

She shrugged.  “What Ty doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” “Maybe - maybe not.” *******************

Tensions ran even higher on the ride home; Julie barely remembered anything before Billy pulled into her driveway and turned off the car.

“Are you okay Julie?  You’re acting kind of weird…,” he asked, turning to her.

She caught his face between her palms.  “But I bet you like weird girls, don’t you Billy?”  She moved closer until her lips were just inches from his.

“Ooooh yeah,” he grinned, pressing his mouth against hers.  

He was an amazing kisser, doing things with his tongue that sent shivers all through her body.  He tasted sexy,  like chewing gum and cigarettes, and she found herself moaning into his open mouth.  It wasn’t until she realized she was nearly astride him that she blushed and pulled away.

“I’m sorry, Billy - I should go.” “Wait-wait-wait - you can’t just lay one on me like that and run off.  What’s going on?  Is there trouble in Tyler-ville?”

She sighed.  “Yeah.  But I should really talk to him about that - not you.”

“Okay, I can respect that.  Just - make sure you call me after you talk to him.  No one else, okay?  I’m first on the list.”  

She gave him a quick kiss.  “I don’t have a list - you’re it.”

Billy turned and shook her hand, eyes sweeping lingeringly over her from head to toe and back.

“Hello Julie; pleased to meet you.” His voice was deep and silky, and something about it made her feel like there was no one else in the world except for the two of them.  He was mesmerizing.

“Hi Billy, welcome to Derry High!” She chirped, giving her most dazzling smile just to level the field a little.  He smiled back; touché.  

Principal McGuiness handed Julie Billy’s schedule, looking carefully between the two of them.  As Principal, he naturally looked out for the school’s football players - all Administration generally did - and he was certain Ty would not appreciate what was going on here.   Unfortunately he had no one else available, as she was the only aide this period.

‘He’s locker 1833”,  Mrs. Joyce, the Office Administrator informed her dryly as Billy signed for his books.  She’d noticed the exchange as well.

Julie led Billy to his locker first so he could put the books away, then consulted his schedule.  The procedure was to go to the doorway and call the teacher out into the hall to make introductions, so the students got a quick glimpse of “the new kid” before he or she joined their ranks.  Julie was amused to note many female students  - and just maybe a guy or two - do a double take when they saw him.  Billy seemed to take it all in his stride though; like it was business as usual.  But considering his looks, I’m sure it IS business as usual.   As they made the rounds, Billy told her his family had just moved from Indiana; he was originally from California, but his father’s work necessitated moving around.  He said he had a stepmother and step sister which wasn’t ideal as far as he was concerned, but generally the situation was tolerable.   He also confessed he’d much rather still be in California “most of the time”, but (with a wink) remarked he could find excellent things about every place he’d been.

Julie was impressed by Billy’s air of sophistication; he seemed so worldly-wise.  She was certain girls would be chasing him all over town within the week, max.

As they walked between buildings, he pointed out where his car sat in the parking lot;  she was amused to see it was a blue Camaro, very similar (at least to her) to the Trans-Am Belch Higgins was so proud of.  His car was one of the few reasons Belch got female attention; he tended to be overshadowed by the rest of his gang, in all respects.  So she could definitely see his resenting the newcomer and his car.   

Actually, Julie didn’t imagine any of the Bowers Gang was going to take to Billy; after all, he had better hair than Henry, a better car than Belch, was smoother than Vic, and…, she deliberately stopped herself there.  Besides, Billy seemed far too self-assured to be intimidated by them, or anyone else really.  Might be fun to see how this plays out. Next up was his PE class, and Coach Weaver had taken the students to the basketball court for drills so she and Billy headed outside.  She saw Patrick Hockstetter on one of the courts with Victor Criss so she gave them a wide berth as she approached Coach Weaver, who was having a conversation with three boys.  Coach looked up at Julie, and waved for her to stay put for the moment.  

While she and Billy were marking time, she heard someone walk up behind her.  Even though it had been forever since he had spoken to her, she didn’t even need to look to know who it was.

“Hey Julie,” Patrick‘s voice sounded in her ears, “what’re you doing?”

She sighed and turned to face him, a chilly smile on her lips.  “Same old, same old.”

Patrick stared pointedly at Billy, who just stood silent.  Julie made the introductions.

“Patrick, this is Billy Hargrove; he’s starting school here today.  Billy, Patrick Hockstetter.”

Billy stuck out his hand.  “Hey dude.”

Patrick looked down at the offered hand, then turned back to Julie without acknowledgement.

“So Julie - I was by your house the other night; that motherfucker is lit up like the 4th of July.  What gives?”

“Oh, you know,” she waved her hand in the air in a “no big deal” gesture, “Daddy just upgraded security.  He got the new lights,  changed out the door and window locks, just general stuff.”  

Patrick frowned.

“Hockstetter!  Stop screwing around; you screw around too much!   Get the hell back to your court.” Coach Weaver shouted across the blacktop, “Julie, I’m ready for you now.”  

“Come on,” she said to Billy, and as they walked away Patrick called after her: 

“But why’d your Dad decide to do that stuff?”

She didn’t turn around.  “Because…, there are some bad people in the world, and you just never know - you know?”

****************** Billy and Julie returned to the Office just before lunch period and since it was his first day, Julie invited him to eat at the table with she and her friends.  Might as well get in some social time before starting classes. “Your - girl friends?” Billy winked at her.

“Yeah - mostly girls.  A few guys too:  My boyfriend, and maybe one or two of his buddies.”

“That tall dude from the basketball court?  That your boyfriend?” Billy asked.

Julie pulled a face.  “Oh, god no.”

“Ex boyfriend?”

“Ewww, no!  Patrick is just some really nosy guy.  He thinks he’s funny, but he’s the only one.”

Billy shrugged.  “He wasn’t trying to be funny to me; I kinda got the feeling he’d as soon punch me as look at me.”

She shook her head.  “He’s pretty much like that with everyone, except for his buddies; one of them is the blond guy that was with him on the court.  I’m sure you’ll meet the rest of them soon enough - they’re just a big old pack of bright, happy sunshine.”

******************

Billy seemed to have something of a polarizing effect at the lunch table, interestingly enough right along gender lines.  He thoroughly charmed the girls - even Kathy flirted with him - but the guys, while friendly, were aloof. Ty pretty much kept his arm around Julie the whole time, which was awkward at best, irritating at worst.  Still, everyone seemed to like him well enough, and Billy was an engaging conversationalist.

But things took an awkward turn as they were leaving the cafeteria.

“Shit I’m late,” Ty said, looking at his watch, “Coach wants all us players to meet him in the  gym to go over strategy for the Winterport game.”  He referred to the always-anticipated game between Derry and their long-standing rivals, scheduled for the Thursday night a little over two weeks from now.  

Before she could speak, Billy cut in.  

“Oh, I’ll walk with her,” he smiled, “didn’t you say we have Creative Writing together 4th period anyway?”  This last was directed at Julie.

Julie didn’t miss the glance Ty gave him.  

“Yes - yes we do.  So it’s cool sweetheart - go to your meeting.”   She raised up on her toes and kissed Ty, stroking his hair.  “You know we’re counting on you.”

He frowned, but hurried away.  As Julie turned back to Billy, she saw Patrick watching the scene unfold from down the hall.  He had the same sour look on his face that Ty had.

************ As always, the upcoming  games against Winterport consumed the school; the Varsity team was scheduled to play on Friday following Thursday‘s JV and Freshman games, so all players were tied up with practice and strategy meetings long after school let out, not to mention weekends.  This meant Nick, Ty and Shaun were unavailable for driving favors, leaving Julie and her friends to walk.  

However, Billy used the events to establish his place in the school’s social infrastructure.  Recognizing an opportunity, he cheerfully stepped in to take the Princesses home in the afternoons.   And of course he continued to sit at their lunch table, becoming something of a confidant to Julie and Kathy in very short order.  It happened so seamlessly, the girls barely even realized it.

Other students did, however, and whispers began to swirl, especially since Billy more-or-less assumed all chauffeur needs for the Princesses.  He took them to the mall, the movies, basically accompanying them anywhere they wanted to go.  

When the inevitable questions arose, Julie denied any romantic relationship with the new student because it was true - there was none. A little bit of harmless flirting was no one’s business, after all.   And if Billy occasionally took her hand in order to guide her, well - that didn’t mean a thing.  Friends, that was all. She didn’t even give it a second thought until the Thursday of the JV game.  Billy dropped her off at home last - as he normally did - and all the way they’d been making a game of who could tell the corniest joke.  

“Okay, okay, I got the one.  Seriously, this is the winner.”  Julie said as the Camaro turned into her driveway.

Billy shut off the engine and turned to her.  “Okay - go.”

She turned to face him, trying not to giggle as she adopted a hippie-stoner voice.  “So…, what do you do when you see a space man?”

Billy was silent, thinking.  After a few seconds, he laughed.  “I dunno.  Freak out?  Run away?”

“No silly!”  She rolled her eyes, “when you see a space man, you park…, man.”

He stared at her for a moment, not comprehending, then the pieces slid into place.  

“Oh my god,” he laughed, “you’re right - that’s really bad.  You park…, man,” he repeated, shaking his head.  She giggled and patted him on the arm, and in that split second he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

She immediately stopped laughing; her hand went to her mouth, and she stared at him.  Silence hung in the air like a living thing.  Finally she spoke: 

“Billy…,” was all she could manage.

“Okay Julie - I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  Billy waved her off. “I’m not gonna say I’m sorry though, because I’m not.  I kissed you because I think you’re cute as hell.  But you don’t need to go tellin’ the Quarterback, because I’m not trying to take you away from him.  I promise not to kiss you again,  unless you want me to, okay?”

She smiled her forgiveness.  “Okay - it’s our secret.”   “And honest, I’m NOT trying to steal you from Ty; but promise to let me know if anything happens between you guys?”  His expression was openly disingenuous, but she nodded anyway.

“Okay Billy.  Talk to you later.”  

She hopped out of the car and skipped into the house, a secret smile at the corners of her lips.

*******************

The smile was long gone once the game got underway, though - Ty was having an off night.  

That was the trouble with being a “star” football player, with having all eyes on you:  When you had an off night, everyone knew it.   And while sometimes having a off night was okay, tonight was not that night.  The stands got progressively more subdued.  Always a bad sign.  

Coach Beecham was nearly apoplectic at halftime, after two fumbles and a turnover resulted in a 10-14 score.  “What the hell is wrong with you, Wilkins?  Get your friggin’ head in the game!” 

Julie had lost track of the number of conversations between the Coach and Ty so far.  A number of Varsity players were watching from the sidelines as well, but their attempts to motivate the quarterback out of his funk were no more successful than the Coach’s.  Ty appeared uncharacteristically silent during these conversations, offering no defense whatsoever; his attitude of resignation meant trouble unless it could be turned around.

 Coach Beecham called Julie over as the band took the field.

“Go walk with him,” Coach told her, pointing to the far fence line that ran in front of the parking lot, “see if you can straighten out his head before he has to get back out there.  We need him on his game or we are screwed.”

But the cards continued to be stacked against Derry’s JV quarterback.  Julie hadn’t been trying to “play therapist” for more than 5 minutes when she heard an unwelcome voice from the other side of the fence.

“Hey, Number 18 - good game!  You tryin’ to suck or does it just come natural?”

She sighed; she felt the arm hers was linked through go tense.   They turned to see Patrick Hockstetter walking along the opposite side. 

Always gotta make any situation worse, don’t you Patrick?  She thought.

“I dunno, I’m new to this whole sucking thing.  Maybe I shoulda come to you for pointers, huh?” Ty drawled, sounding much more casual than Julie knew he felt. 

Patrick smirked.

“Well then - I guess that means it comes natural, ‘cuz your doin’ a helluva job.  Makin’ us all proud.”

Henry Bowers - who was walking alongside Patrick - laughed.  Julie gave them a withering look.

“Just please go back to the stands, huh guys?  We’re trying to talk here.”  She asked, trying to diffuse the situation. Then it was Patrick’s turn to laugh.

“Go back to the stands - you kiddin’?  Who wants to watch their team get reamed because the quarterback can’t run a fuckin’ play?” He retorted.

Ty had enough.

“Fuck you, Horkstetter,” He seethed, using the nickname that always aggravated Patrick, “like you could do any better.”

“Whatever dude - I’m not the fucking angel from heaven that was supposed to bring us the win.  You picked a damn good night to be a fuck up.”

Ty stopped short, yanked his arm from Julie’s and started for the gate.  

“Oh shit, here he comes, Patrick.  Maybe you can beat some of the stink off him.” Henry called, while Patrick laughed.  Julie ran and caught Ty’s arm, relieved to see Nick and Coach Beecham making their way over.

“Come on Tyler,” she murmured soothingly, stroking his face, “don’t let the cretins push your buttons.  You know there are rules against fighting, but if you fight at a game?  In uniform?  You’ll get kicked off the team for sure. Just calm down.”

Ty closed his eyes; he knew what she said was true, and this wasn’t helping his game in the least…,

“Bowers!  Hockstetter!  Stop causing trouble and get the hell out of here!  You boys are worse than a plague of locusts!” Coach Beecham shouted as they approached; Henry and Patrick promptly retreated to the parking lot.

“Those rejects would like nothing better than to fuck you up; don’t let ‘em accomplish it, okay bud?” Nicky said to Ty as soon as they were close enough.  “You feeling any better?”

“Yeah - you ready to reset?  Need anything from us?” Coach inquired, concern plain on his face.

Ty smiled.  “I think I’m good, thanks. Can you just give me a few more minutes to pull it together?”

They did as he asked, and Ty turned back to Julie.

“ARE you good?  Do you think you’ll be okay?” Her tone was anxious.

He sighed and squared his shoulders.  “I guess; there’s just been a lot of shit going through my head and I have something to ask you.  And I need you to answer honestly. OK?”

“Sure.”

“You’re not messing with that stupid ape, are you?” He asked, looking over her shoulder to where Patrick stood in the parking lot.

“What?  No!  Why would you ask me something like that?  Honestly!”  She recoiled convincingly.  And technically, it was true; she’d not been near Patrick in at least two months. Ty flushed.  “It’s just, I don’t know, sometimes I get the feeling …, well, I guess I’m just kinda insane sometimes.  I’m sorry Julie, I’m stressing big time.”  He looked so embarrassed she couldn’t be mad.  And you can’t really be mad anyway, can you? Not REALLY, her mind whispered

From the corner of her eye Julie saw Billy walking through the parking lot to his car, where he sat with the door open and smoked a cigarette.  Ty also saw him; a look passed over his face, like he had another question, but then decided  against it.  Instead he  took Julie into his arms and kissed her deeply. 

“Thanks for being so good to me,” he whispered against her hair after he broke the kiss. 

She cringed with guilt as she hugged him tighter. 

But really - you haven’t REALLY lied, have you?  You haven’t REALLY done anything wrong, her inner voice soothed her as Julie put her head on Ty’s shoulder and they walked back to the Derry sideline.  She did not look over into the parking lot, banishing all thoughts of anyone but Ty for the rest of the evening. Whatever had been troubling him appeared to have resolved, and she wanted it to remain that way.  

And the strategy was apparently successful; Ty played a perfect second quarter, and the rest of the JV team followed suit.  Spectators on the Derry side were ecstatic when their team came back easily to win the game.

The words made her heart fill with joy, and the face she lifted to him was beaming.  He kissed her, and she took his hands.

“Come inside,” she said;  then, when he hesitated:  “ Everyone is gone. No one will be back until at least tomorrow afternoon.”

His demeanor remained slightly uncomfortable as she led him to her bed, but he found his enthusiasm when they began kissing.  He overcame her initial reluctance, then lead her through the finer points of mutual oral sex.  When  they were sated, she asked him to stay.

”Sleep with me,” she asked shyly.  He nodded, spooning up behind her. As they lay in the dark, she was surprised when he asked:  “What’s going to happen when school starts back?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you gonna act like you don’t know me?  I mean, I know your brother, and your friends, would kinda freak out if they knew about us…,”

“I don’t mind,” she said, pulling his arm closer around her, “no one can tell me who I can and can’t talk to or…, like.”

He said nothing.  The silence began to unnerve her.

“Unless you don’t want people to know we know one another?”  She turned to face him, wishing she could read his eyes in the dark.

“It’s not that, I just - I dunno.  Nick really hates me and…, I dunno.”  He repeated.  “Let me think about it.  It’s cool.”  He pulled her closer, and despite her misgivings she was lulled into sleep by the rhythm of his breathing.

**********************

Sometime in the pre-dawn hour she felt him ease out of the bed, obviously trying not to disturb her.  She remained quiet as he dressed, not speaking until he opened the veranda door.

“You don’t have to climb down,” she called softly, “No one is home.  You can use the front door.” 

He stopped in his tracks, looking embarrassed. “Oh; I didn’t mean to wake you up…,”

She tried to make her tone light:  “Yeah, it looks like you’re trying to sneak out.”

He turned to her.  “No, nothin’ like that; I just need to get home before Dad wakes up.  And speakin’ of that, he’s off work next week, so he’ll be around the house.  I’ll let you know when it’s cool to come over again. Okay?”

“Sure,” she replied, steeling herself against the fear that crept into her heart. He reassured her by coming back to the bed and kissing her lingeringly, then he walked out onto the veranda.  “I’d rather leave the same way I came in,” he laughed.

Julie lay awake for a long time after he left, puzzling over her feelings, more confused than ever.

********************** That turned out to be the last she saw of Patrick until the first day of school.  The following Monday cheerleading practice officially began, which occupied  most of her free time; the rest was quickly filled up by social commitments, preparations for school, and the like.  And whereas all summer it seemed Patrick had been on every corner,  now it was as if he’d disappeared off the face of the earth.

So she was looking forward to seeing him again at school.  She’d decided she would let him set the tone of their interactions, and she’d just follow his lead.   But she didn’t see him that morning before first bell, or between classes - not, in fact, until just prior to lunch.  And of all the scenarios she’d pictured, she’d never come close to imagining how it actually played out.

Fortunately she was alone, having made plans to meet Kathy so they could eat lunch together.  She was hurrying down the hall toward the cafeteria when she finally saw Patrick; he was hovering over some girl - Julie had seen her before, but didn’t know her name - his arm propped on the locker over her head in the standard “aggressive flirting” posture all school kids are familiar with.  The girl was  smiling up at Patrick through a tangle of bleached-blond curls, her back resting against the lockers.  She was tall with long, coltish legs, like him.

The scene caused Julie’s breath to seize in her lungs; she felt as if she’d been punched in the chest. She ducked into the bathroom before Patrick saw her.

The room was empty, but she hurried into a stall anyway; she wanted to be sure no one saw her crying. She huddled and let the tears flow until they stopped on their own; afterward she took her time repairing her smeared makeup at the mirror.  She wasn’t sure how long she’s been in the restroom, but she felt fairly certain it had been long enough for the halls to clear.

And she was right - Patrick and his friend were long gone as she made her way to the cafeteria.  She spotted Kathy quickly and hurried over, but as she rounded the top right corner of the tables, she saw Patrick seated with that same girl.  Naturally right at that moment he glanced up, catching Julie’s gaze.  He smirked, and there was more cruelty in that expression than she’d ever seen from him.  Tears threatened again but she fought them back. 

She had to walk right past where they sat to reach Kathy, so Julie raised herself up to her full height - hopefully a more effective gesture since they were seated - and walked past without sparing them a glance.  She heard Patrick laugh, low and mocking, and her cheeks burned with anger but she was proud that she managed no other visible reaction. 

**********************

The remainder of the afternoon passed by without her noticing; all she could think about was what happened during lunch period.  She realized that the sweet boy she’d seen in her bedroom that night no longer existed - if he ever really had - and she was finally well and truly sure that their time together had been no more than a conquest for him.  How had she managed to convince herself otherwise?  She felt like a fool.

Guess he finally exacted retribution for the pencil incident.

It was sometime during cheer practice that she felt her heart turn to stone. She’d been stupid, trusted the wrong person - that was all.  She’d known Patrick was a nasty creature, undeserving of her time or attention - not to mention her affection - but she’d been foolish enough to let her emotions make her forget that all important fact.  This whole thing was one big cruel-but-vital lesson that her mother repeated ad nauseum: ”Never mix with people below your station - they don’t know how to behave.”

She would never let herself forget it again.  

**********************

When she got home, Julie went straight to the desk in her room.   Plans were already well underway for her birthday party, more than half the invitations already addressed.  Julie reached into a drawer and pulled out a stack of four envelopes she’d hidden from her mother; she couldn’t believe she’d actually been planning to invite Patrick and his friends.

“I must’ve been certifiably insane,” she muttered to herself, carrying them out onto the veranda.  She put them into an empty flower pot, dropped in a match and watched them burn, imagining every stupid sentimental idea she’d had about him being carried away with the smoke. Patrick Hockstetter could spend his time with any trashy girl he chose - she would no longer be an option.

*************

That very night over dinner, Julie convinced her father to install security lights around the roofline of the house, explaining she’d heard there had been a rash of break-ins in town.  She also made him promise to put deadbolt locks on the veranda entrances, “because you never know.”

And she resolved to never go anywhere alone anymore, and to be careful where she went with Kathy.  She was determined: Patrick Hockstetter would never have another opportunity to “get his filthy fucking hands” on her…., 

And it was actually much easier than she thought to put him out of her mind - fall was always very busy for Julie, what with football season, her birthday and the festivals and Halloween celebrations.   Additionally this year she was elected  to homecoming court, which lead to an unexpected development - her first, “official” boyfriend.

Tyler Wilkins - the best football player in her class - had been elected as the male homecoming court delegate for their grade.  With with his tousled blonde hair, soft brown eyes, athletic build and easy grin, Ty was also widely considered one of the cutest boys in school; she’d been pleased when,  immediately after the court was announced, he asked Julie to be his date in addition to his being her escort.  Naturally she accepted - then one thing led to another, and the homecoming dance marked the beginning of their relationship. 

It became commonplace for Ty to take her hand and walk her to classes, and join her for lunch most days.  Julie was amused to begin finding little gifts left for her at her locker, even cuter that Ty never mentioned or even put his name on them.   Most Saturday nights he either came over and watched movies with her, or the two of them double dated with Nicky and Beth or Ty’s brother Shaun and his girlfriend.  Everyone seemed to approve of the new couple - even Nicky. Their relationship appeared storybook perfect, all American, safe and wholesome - the way things are supposed to be.  And if that sometimes seemed a little dull and predictable, Julie tried not to think of it.

Of course, she still saw Patrick skulking around the school, even if she pretended she didn’t; especially when he was in the company of one of his “slutty buddies”, which was often.  Julie realized it was probably unfair to think of the girls like that - after all, she really knew nothing about any of them - but she didn’t care.  She despised them.  She heard things, rumors mostly -  tales of Patrick’s having threesomes with two 11th graders; making out with and feeling up a girl in front of everyone at the skating rink; getting a blow job beneath the bleachers during a pep rally (this last one being somewhat more than a rumor, since more than a dozen students saw it happen).

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He sneered, his tone decidedly angry; she backed away.

“Just slip off - run far away,  right?  Or maybe you want to offer me something else, to keep me from touching your precious self?“ He adopted a mewling tone, mocking her, “Patrick, please just leave me alone; Patrick won’t you just take some money?; Patrick, don’t make me cry.”  He glared at her, his eyes ablaze.  

She decided her best move was to stay silent. 

He stood and began pacing.

“We saw your prick brother and his jock buddies this morning,” Patrick said, the edge in his voice getting sharper.  “He reminded me again, like he has every fuckin’ time he’s seen me since that day in the park, that I’d better stay away from you.  ‘Cuz god forbid I breathe the same air as the precious fucking Princess!”

Julie could picture the scene in her mind immediately:  Nick and his “jock buddies” were one of the few cliques that the Bowers Gang would back down from, and the football team had started early morning workouts this week.  Most of the team would go out to eat afterwards, and in such a setting she could totally see them descending on “the four cretins” if they encountered them.  

That had to be what happened; she imagined Nick probably got right up in Patrick’s face, knowing he wouldn’t do anything since, even with Henry and the rest of them, it was probably four against at least six.    The image made Julie sad, although she couldn’t think why since bullying was exactly what “the four cretins” did to so many kids at school…,

He was staring at her, clearly expecting a reaction.  Without thinking, she replied:

“Well, after all - Nicky is protective.  He just wants the best for me, you know, and you’re not exactly….,” she trailed off, noting that his eyes were now glittering dangerously.  His lip pulled up at the corner, like an animal bares it’s teeth.

“You know, Henry was right - you think you’re better than everyone else and just about everyone buys into that shit.  This whole fucking TOWN thinks I’m not fit to breathe the same fucking air as the Dunnavants, or the Tates, or the Bradleys…., like you’re some kind of royalty and I’m just some shit.  But wouldn’t your prick brother, and big Daddy D, and everyone else be shocked to know how you are when you’re alone with me?”  He looked at her, still awaiting a response.

This time she chose silence, since she seemed to fare better on that path.  He glared for another moment, then clenched his fists and bowed his head, breathing deeply.  When he lifted his eyes to look at her, she was more afraid than she’d ever felt in her life.

“Take your fucking clothes off.”

She actually clutched her t-shirt closer and took a step back;  he crossed the room in two long strides and gripped her shoulders, backing her toward his bed. 

“I said take.  Your.  Fucking.  Clothes.  Off.   NOW.  Oh, fuck it…,” he grabbed the shirt and yanked it up; she only just lifted her arms in time to keep him from tearing it.  He flung it to the floor then grabbed her by the waistband of her shorts; the button popped off and went spinning across the floor as he struggled to grasp her zipper…,

“For god’s sake Patrick stop!!  If I go home with torn clothes we’re both in deep shit!!”  She cried,  “I’ll take them off, just…, please…,”

He was silent, but still.  She took the rest of her clothes off rapidly, then stood naked,  hands raised in supplication.  His expression softened, and he stroked her cheek.

“There she is - there’s my Little Rabbit; my scared little bunny.   Get in my bed, Little Rabbit.”  He said, perfectly calmly, eyes blank.   Somehow that was even more frightening to her.

He stripped out of his clothes without changing expression, and she wished her first experience seeing him completely naked wasn’t so terrifying.  She was going to be raped - she was certain of it.  And she’d walked right into it.

“Patrick, please.  This shouldn’t be…, like this.  This should be about love.”  She faltered, not sure what she was trying to convey; she didn’t mean that he should love her, but only that he shouldn’t do this if he didn’t…,

He laughed then, his whole countenance changing as he crawled into bed with her.  The mocking and amused Patrick was back, but still with that terrifying look in his eyes.

“Love.”  He laughed.  “‘Love,’ she says.  ‘The way things should be’, she says.  What do you know about any of that shit?  If things were the way they should  be, the closest I would ever get to you is that your Daddy might be my goddamn lawyer one day.  I was never supposed to get my filthy fucking hands on the little Princess.” 

He grinned, the scary one that showed most of his teeth; the one that made him look like a hungry crocodile.  

He slid his hand down, parting her thighs and moving between them.  

“Patrick…,” she began, but he put his finger to her lips.  

“Uh-uh, shhhhhh…,”

She felt the head of his cock pressing against her pussy, then he pushed inward, just a tiny bit; not the whole head, just the tip of his cock.  She gasped, eyes wide.

“If I were you I’d just stay still, little girl; don’t dare to say anything.  I’d even be careful breathing, ‘cuz you have no idea how much I wanna stick it in right now.  If you wiggle, even a little, I might slip; then it would be bye-bye, Little Virgin Princess.”  He stared into her eyes, loving the fear and trepidation battling the raw want in her.  He shifted, and began sliding the length of his cock along her slit, feeling her get wetter and wetter.  He made a loud, growling sound deep in his throat.

“Fuck, oh fuck— I bet you feel so good; so hot..,  so fucking tight.”  His breath was labored; it would be so easy.  With just one move and a thrust…, He slipped a finger inside her, then brought it to his mouth and closed his eyes.  

“You’re rock candy baby,” he said; she gave him a puzzled look.

“Hot, sweet and sticky,” he finished, sucking the wetness from his fingers.  It embarrassed her, but it also made her squirm hard. 

“Do you just have to talk nasty?”

“You think that’s nasty?” He looked surprised.  “‘Cuz I don’t.  I don’t think you really know what nasty is…,”

He stared at her for a minute, then announced:  “Okay, honey girl — it’s time for you to suck my fucking cock.  And you are going to do it good, too…,” he caught her chin in his fingers, “aren’t you?”

“I’ll try but…, I don’t…,” she began.

He smiled.  “Oh, don’t worry.  I’ll tell you what to do - just like I always do…,” he rolled over and pulled her to him.  “Just go on down there, but not too fast.  I want you to kiss me, all the way down. And use your tongue.”

She followed his direction, kissing here, licking here; some things she guessed on her own, like sucking his nipples; other things he surprised her with.  He enjoyed being bitten, harder than she would have imagined but she followed his lead.  He liked her hair trailing over his skin; he rubbed it over his stomach until she reached his cock, when pushed it back.  He wanted to see.

The flesh of his cock was silky and hot; much hotter than she expected.  She could taste her juices on him when she ran her tongue over the underside.  At first it all seemed very complicated, trying to remember what pressure, speed and intensity to maintain; but she very quickly found a rhythm that made him moan encouragement.  It’s all very natural, really…,

“Watch the teeth,” he said horsely, twining his fingers in her hair and guiding her movements faster, “Go deeper - oh yeah.  That’s it…,” 

When she went down too far she gagged, but it made him groan in ways that made her redouble her efforts.  Even under the circumstances, she wanted to please him; she kept thinking how it felt to have his cock rubbing against her sex, and it made her take him deeper still.

Finally she felt him grip her head and hold her in place;  he spasmed, then came in her mouth.  His breath hitched, then he was still.

She felt inordinately proud of herself when she disappeared into the bathroom to spit and rinse her mouth, but returned to find him staring at the ceiling; the angry look was back.  She felt an odd trepidation: What now?

“Well - I reckon we’re done here,” he said flatly. 

She nodded, gathering her clothes; what else was she to do?  When she was dressed she turned back to him, still lying in bed.  

“Okay, so.., are you gonna…?” She looked at him expectantly.  

“No, fuck off,” he spat, anger breaking into fury over his face.   “I’m NEVER giving that shit back to you, so just live in fucking fear.   But you don’t have to come back, so there’s that.  Get the fuck out.”   He rolled over onto his pillow with his back to her.

Julie stood there for a moment, her emotions torn like she never would have guessed.  She turned and took a step to leave, then walked around the back of  the bed so he was facing her.  His eyes were closed.

Steeling her nerves, she leaned over, pushed the hair away, and kissed him on the forehead.  Then she surprised even herself by taking his face in her hands and kissing him softly but firmly on the lips before quickly running upstairs and out of the house.   As she reached the street she looked over her shoulder to find him watching from one of the windows.

Guess it didn’t take him all that long to get tired of me, after all, she thought, a little shocked to realize how sad it made her.  But she was not at all surprised to feel tears in her eyes as she walked home.  

*********

The next few days did nothing to improve Julie’s mood; she retreated again to her room, refusing phone calls and invitations, not even coming down for meals with the family.

“Oh Julie, honey,” Ellen fretted, after checking on her daughter for the umpteenth time, “are we here again?”  Nick was such an easy child; he never had mood swings or temper tantrums; but then again, boys were so much easier to raise than girls…,

Ellen even went so far as to suggest she and Chris postpone their weekend trip to stay home with Julie, but he was able to talk her out of the idea.  

“Oh for God’s sake, Ellen - she’s not a little girl anymore.  She’s a teenager, and if we’re going to cancel plans every time she gets the blues, we many as well forget going anywhere until she goes off to college!”

*********

And so Julie found herself home alone on a Friday night, her parents gone and Nick in Bangor for the night.

She couldn’t stop wondering how she got here, heart broken over Patrick Hockstetter, of all people?  It wasn’t as if she’d ever pictured herself with him, and the entirety of their “relationship” had been under pretty ghastly circumstances.  Coercion and sexual blackmail was hardly the basis for a lasting romance, even if she could date him - which she couldn’t.  She wondered if she had fallen to Stockholm Syndrome?

But it wasn’t like he hadn’t told her like it was from the beginning.  Until I get tired of you, I guess, he’d said, and all he’d wanted was a blow job.  He comes, and you go.  Easy.

She could hear the wind picking up outside again; the closer they got to autumn, the more frequently nor’easters would blow up.  She fell asleep listening to the leaves rattling outside. 

**********

Sometime later she awoke to a shadow on the curtains.  This time it was for sure someone was out there, not just the wind, and she could hear the veranda deck creaking under their weight.  She crept over to the door and peeked around the curtain…,

Then she stepped back and pulled the door open; the force of the wind pulled it out of her hand and slammed it against a nearby chair.