Bourbon Metalhead 64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Mat

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

She looks so serious.

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

Celtic Frost: “The Wings of Solitude” vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd: “Simple Man”

Right from the outset, the drum production on “Simple Man” is too crisp and overpowering. This song is about the soulful lyrics and southern guitar; not the crisp drumming and cymbal work. Celtic Frost sounds as heavy as Obituary following it and this is of the soft, hair metal era of Celtic Frost. Now, time for bourbon.

“Take your time, don’t live too fast.” Don’t be too fast for love. Overproduction of drums and cymbals will pass. “Simple Man” advances to the Sweet 16. Celtic Frost was heavier. It never drew me in. Never complimented this fucking complex bourbon.

And this was a deeply complex battle betwixt two bourbons that aren’t bourbon. Town Branch is basically a scotch for bourbon drinkers. And WDO is so fucking and sweet and puddingesque from the double oaking that it is bourbon and beyond. And, where was I going? Birds chirp. The sun sets. Be a simple kind of man. WRDO is sweet like summer camp canteen purchases. Vanilla/banana pudding and rich butter slathered all over fried corn cobs. And the French Toast slathered in butter? Damn near nothing can overcome that. The Town Branch SBSP refreshed and purified, but the WRDO is pure summer camp hedonism. “Don’t forget son, there is someone up above.” And when old enough, drink something that takes you back to summer camp bliss. And you will remember pancakes and french toast and butter in your soul, not mouthwash. Son, be satisfied. And when you are old enough, have pours of WRDO until the cops come home. For hour Dad has a badge and when it is time to raise some toasts, raise it to those who pit their lives on the line every fucking work shift. For the next breath is never given, or taken. Just embrace. “All that I want for you my son, is to be satisfied, and be a simple kind if man.” Don’t be spoiled, entitled, or ungrateful.

Acknowledge the spiritual pipeline, head birds chirp, and actually taste bourbon and the underlying heritage.

Both of these bourbons transcend and offer unique tastes and journeys. They would have both bounced hallowed Blanton’s and Stagg Jr., but the bracket paired them against each other. And the Thin Blue Line advances. Laugh all you want at Fife and Griffith, but there is more wisdom in their sneezes than in most citizens’ dying proclamations. Embrace summer camp and butter drenched heathenism and somehow be a simple man while drinking decadent pours.

WRDO Until the Coos Show Up advances to the Sweet 16.

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

Celtic Frost: “The Wings of Solitude” vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd: “Simple Man”

Nose:

Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up:

Super sweet. Burnt sugar. Paint thinner. Nutmeg. Vanilla bean donut. Rum soaked raisins.

Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick:

Rye. Malt and scotch city. Plums. Astringent mint.

Taste:

Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up:

Vanilla and banana pudding. Grilled pudding (if it existed). Campfire smoke. French toast saturated in syrup with lots of butter. Melted butter on fried corn.

Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick:

Sweet and smooth on entry. Double Mint gum. Over the top scotch flavor. Malted barley. Refreshing.

Feel / Finish:

Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up:

Thick mouthfeel. Leaves mouth creamy. Sugars stick to teeth.

Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick:

Thin mouthfeel. Finish is straight malted barley mixed with mint gum. Slight and soft Kentucky hug. Last sip had a soft Kentucky hug. And the mouthwash mint lingers. Malted barley dominates even on the finish.

Kentucky Chew:

Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up:

Lots of smooth brown sugar on chew. Starts to dry out and taste like flour. Burns slightly and gets that cherry soda taste. Swallow. Woodsy. Tannic. Twigs. Slight cherry chalk.

Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick:

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

Celtic Frost: “The Wings of Solitude” vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd: “Simple Man”

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

64 Bourbons Bracket Round 2, Matchup 13: Woodford D.O. Until the Cops Show Up vs. Town Branch Barrel Proof Store Pick

Songs of matchup:

64 Bourbons Bracket Round of 32, Matchup 12: Stagg Jr. vs. Blanton’s

Songs of matchup:

Zeal & Ardor: “Blood in the River” vs.

64 Bourbons Bracket Round of 32, Matchup 12: Stagg Jr. vs. Blanton’s

Songs of matchup:

Zeal & Ardor: “Blood in the River” vs.

Paradise Lost: “Xavier”

First for the song. “Xavier” by Paradise Lost easily advances to the Sweet 16. My buddy J (who graciously submitted his bottle of Stagg Jr. to the bracket) agrees. “Blood in the River” started with energy, but it became distracting. The duo of songs probably played through a half dozen songs and I found myself turning down the volume on “Blood in the River.” A red flag, for sure. The song distracted. Whereas “Xavier” oscillated betwixt seamlessly melding into the background and begging to be played louder and louder. And it makes sense. Paradise Lost have gothic overtones, which pairs well with wine. Yet they absolutely crush the original Dead Can Dance version (sorry not sorry).

Speaking of crushing, Blanton’s absolutely crushed Stagg Jr. this matchup. Stagg Jr. was flat, anonymous, bland, and passive. The proof only reared its head during the Kentucky chew, but it was just harsh. No flavor. Proof for proofs sake. This Stagg Jr. wasn’t even one dimensional. It was zero dimensional.

And Blanton’s. J called it: refreshing. We sit on my back patio (the prt without shelter) and blend with the elements. It’s probably around 90 degrees F right now, and Blanton’s cooled and calmed us both. And had some complexity. Enough to easily advance.

64 Bourbons Bracket Round of 32, Matchup 12: Stagg Jr. vs. Blanton’s

Songs of matchup:

Zeal & Ardor: “Blood in the River” vs.

Paradise Lost: “Xavier”

Nose:

Stagg Jr.:

Black Grapes. Rye. Brown sugar. Creme brulee.

Blanton’s:

Red grapes. Rain water. Fresh Muscadine grapes. Drop biscuits.

Taste:

Stagg Jr.:

Ethanol. Funk. Bland. Empty heat.

Blanton’s:

Some white flour on biscuits. Some vanilla cream soda (diluted). Mild muscadine grape. Syrah wine. Vanilla bean custard. A slight hint of pineapple upside down cake.

Feel / Finish:

Stagg Jr.:

Medium feel. No Kentucky hug on first sip. Sticks to gums with slight sting. A touch of yeast. Short finish.

Blanton’s:

Thicker mouthfeel than Stagg, puddingesque. No Kentucky hug. Thicker. Coats mouth like Big League Chew grape. Can even taste the sugar dust from Big League Chew.

Kentucky Chew:

Stagg Jr.:

Some yeast. Some cherry candy. Kinda takes breath away and brings tear to eyes. Slight cough. Little flavor. Not much hug.

Blanton’s:

64 Bourbons Bracket Round of 32, Matchup 12: Stagg Jr. vs. Blanton’s

Songs of matchup:

Zeal & Ardor: “Blood in the River” vs.

Paradise Lost: “Xavier”

64 Bourbons Bracket Round of 32, Matchup 12: Stagg Jr. vs. Blanton’s

Songs of matchup:

Zeal & Ardor: “Blood in the River” vs.

64 Bourbons Bracket: Round of 32 (Matchup 11):

Booker’s Boston Batch vs. Old Tub

Songs battling it out in 64 Bourbons Bracket: Round of 32 (Matchup 11):

Entombed: “Scottish Hell”

vs.

Down: “Learn From This Mistake”

I started with Old Tub and went back for five sips before having the first sip of Booker’s. Usually I only have one sip, and sometimes a second of the first bourbon. Old Tub came out of the starting gate with a substantial burst of delicious speed. And then I started sipping on Booker’s and before going back to Old Tub I realized that I had half as much Booker’s left as Old Tub, so it was obviously going down damn smooth. I had written plenty about the feel/finish and nose and only had “oak” for taste. Then I added baklava. I became lost in the finish and complexity of the Booker’s. Time to go back to Old Tub before Booker’s is gone.

The songs started a fist fight from the get-go. Down was better when mellow, and a touch distracting as it progressively got heavier. Entombed was much heavier, yet brought focusing energy and a level of sleaze appropriate for the Jim Beam distillery non-chill filtered funk. “It consumes you, it haunts you like the devil. It’s the art of the process…” How can “Learn From This Mistake” not advance? I kept getting sucked in on the junkie without happy endings and the art of the process. This 64 Bourbons Bracket is about the art of the process and mistakes, and also a bit of overindulgence. We are all closer to junkie status than we would like to admit. Just one rush could change all of our lives, and one push could end us all together. As Queensryche says, the needle only lies. But there is no way to spell “believe” without lie smack dab in the middle.

Song advancing to the Sweet 16 is “Learn From This Mistake” by Down.

Ha! I finished my glass of Booker’s and hadn’t done a Kentucky chew, which is mandatory for me. I need to add a separate category for Kentucky chew. I will do that from here on out. So, I made an OT pour and I started playing “Learn From This Mistake” progressively louder and louder. And went on my patio, beneath 94 degrees heat — as our dog stalked a destructive mole (and our dog sought to excavate with a superhero’s prowess). Neighbors in paint-on t-shirts (with precision facial hair grooming scowled through fence slats) as I raised a toast : “to bourbon and mistakes” to which he confusingly raised a vapid wave. And I hit the volume plus on my Bluetooth speaker, took another sip of Booker’s and allowed the Temperature to elevate near 100 degrees. And. Shit! I still haven’t done the Kentucky hug with the Booker’s. Let me not shit, but get off the pot — and dance as Jimmy Bowers or whoever the non-Pantera fuck from Down shreds at the 3:15+ point of the song… get lost in the bourbon and music. Join me. Pour a high proof bourbon. Put this song on repeat and play it really loud. Destress. Let go. Live and let live. Live free and fuck Patrick Henry’s ghost!

I am drunk. Booker’s Boston Marathon Batch advances. I can’t articulate it now, but if you piece together some cryptic and less cryptic shit from above; it might make sense. Learn from all mistakes. Old Tub is an absolute steal at its price. Yet, this slow-starting Booker’s (they all limp out of the gate) took me on a ride, transfixed me, and placed me in a high proof trance. Then I was drunk as fuck (forgive my lack of vocabularial creativity). Stop, Hammer time. Did you see that obnoxious use of poetic license? Vocabularial? Moving on. The art of the process kills off all the devils, and this time Old Tub was a devil. Why? Because Booker’s Boston Marathon Batch is a fucking journey and not a destination. Sneaky, like Loki. This is Loki’s batch. Old Tub was running away with the victory. Then I was entranced and neatly shooting Booker’s Boston Marathon Batch, and pouring OT pours, and embarrassing my family name, and then melting in 100 degree heat index folly.

64 Bourbons Bracket: Round of 32 (Matchup 11):

Booker’s Boston Batch vs. Old Tub

Songs battling it out in 64 Bourbons Bracket: Round of 32 (Matchup 11):

Entombed: “Scottish Hell”

vs.

Down: “Learn From This Mistake”

Nose:

Booker’s Boston Batch -

Oak, funk, cedar, hay, filet mignon, shelled walnuts, baklava. Vanilla pudding. Banana custard.

Old Tub -

Funk, apple cobbler, apple pie, peanut oil, white flour on biscuit dough, white powdered donuts, peanut brittle.

Taste:

Booker’s Boston Batch -

Oak. Baklava. Cinnamon. Rye. Kentucky chew: cinnamon sugar, Apple strudel,

Old Tub -

Sweet, artificial cherry funk. Funk. A mild Doublemint gum flavor. Cotton candy. A touch of Big K Cherry Cola. Kentucky chew: corn, turkey broth (?).

Feel / Finish:

Booker’s Boston Batch -

Burns inside of mouth on hold. Medium and oily mouthfeel. Deep, reverberating Kentucky hug. Drops beneath sternum. Yet moistens mouth on finish. Tingles spaces between teeth and gums. A cherry frosting aftertaste. Brings chalkiness after finish after later sips. Long finish. Kentucky chew: oak and pain and numbness and coughing. Followed by a reverberation of muted Kentucky huge and pieces of apple poached from a glazed apple fritter. Muted fried apple pie. Banana custard on the soft finish. And some sort of cinnamon apple debauchery. And spelling be damned, as keyboard keys shift and shake and I start thinking of whether Jack White and Phil Anselmo could co-exist. Actually, Jack White would be better served with Pepper Keenan and Jimmy Bower. And both Pepper and Bower are underrated. It doesn’t consume me, or haunt me, but it is a mistake to not give Pepper and Bowers their due. Learn from your mistake. Deep dive into their works. What does this have to do with Booker’s? Sucks to your Ass-mar!!!!!!

Hey Piggy, yeah you… Trent Reznor might have sang to me. In some alternate, pre-Oscars universe. I did party with Phil Anselmo when I was 18. And I did not push heroin. Yet, I made a few mistakes in New Orleans. I mostly avoided the plagues that surrounded my friends in the Big Easy, apple though.

Old Tub -