I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

it's not mentioned in the song but in the corner of the piano man bar there is a mouse hole and inside that hole is a smaller replica of the bar staffed and patronized by mice who perfectly mirror all of the characters and they all say squeak us a song you're the piano mouse and mouse what are you doing here while they put cheese in his tiny jar

Lancelot: Egad sire! Look at that. King Arthur: Hm, rare to see a VW Beetle this far north. Not impossible, mind.

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

ancient peoples loooved a flood narrative it was kinda like their beatles

Magic sword inscribed with the runes “EVERY PIECE OF TRASH YOU LEAVE IN A PUBLIC PLACE WILL BE WEIGHED ALONGSIDE YOUR SOUL ON THE SCALES OF PARADISE”

"you couldnt make seinfeld today" you couldve made seinfeld in 45 B.C.