There are things here and I'm sorry @botherednothot-generallyconfused - Tumblr Blog

How to Flirt

If you need to tell someone they're pretty. "Your face is becoming a problem for me. Please stop making me feel emotions".

#I'm sure they won't misunderstand

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Motivational speeches I need to see

How to cope with being right all the time. Why you shouldn't murder people in real life. How to eat shit and look good doing it.

How to ask someone to make out

Mind if I softly chew on your mouth flaps? Or Can I kiss your puckered starfish? NOTE: The second proposal might in fact make them think you are talking about their butthole. This might taint your experience.

#professional

How to do college and probly other things

Eat crackers and be sad.

Wind blows.

#woosh

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You ever feel like some of the people in your life are npcs. They have repetitive dialogue like, "How are you today" and "Stop breathing on me". It's strange.

Me explaining rain to children

"Well you see, sometimes the sky bleeds"

#nohelpforme

Night life

Sometimes nightlife is depicted glamorously but the truth is that it's eating oatmeal at 1:30am cause you have no control of your life anymore and your eyes are crusted over due to shame and fluorescent lighting.

#SmellsLikeCinnamonAndDespair

I just wanted tea but they wouldn't share

Dreams are weird. One moment I'm getting attacked by a bunch of gnomes and then I wake up irritated and confused.

#their hands were larger than their heads

"May I gradually secrete fluids in your presence" -an idea of how to ask someone to hang out. If you want something saucy you can ask, "May I actively secrete fluids in your presence"

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Note to self: Dream about awesome space adventures, do not dream about attending seminars on proper q-tip use.

I don’t like being sick. I feel too much pressure from trying not to breath on anyone.

#leaking faces

Do you ever just wake up and decide to eat corn until you hate yourself?

#corn

Life

I will have you know I’m perfectly incapable of making my own decisions

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There are things here and I'm sorry