Unreliable Narrator

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

i’d love the opportunity to fumble you catastrophically

The spirit is weak the flesh is weak and me also I feel not so willing

if you can't handle me at my worst then stop dragging me there fucker

Getting trapped in a crystal probably feels good as fuck

"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts

A girl can be a handsome fella. This is obvious

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

Movie about a depressed and rather morbid autistic man planning to commit suicide and picking up a number of odd jobs in an effort to raise enough money to meticulously plan and prepay for his funeral so his mother doesn’t have to worry about it after he is gone. He begins to connect with people and enjoy life for the first time while working part time as a greeter in the funeral home, helping an eccentric old lady organize her basement, walking 7 dogs and maintaining a feral cat colony for a guy with a broken foot, playing a number of bit parts in local ads and stocking the shelves at the convenience store at night. In the end, he has befriended many of his neighbors and he decides he does not want to die and goes back to school to become a funeral director instead.