just a list trashy aus to consider
âi play literally the straightest character to ever straight on television which is why everyones super surprised when in reality i came out with my boyfriend/girlfriend bc what do u mean your gay now / well im not my characterâ au
âim not saying you cant be a stripper and that youre lying im just saying you act like too much of a ball of sunshine to be a stripper so i might need to see physical proof of this jobâ au
âTHE APOCALYPSE IS HAPPENING WOULD YOU STOP LIVETWEETING ABOUT IT FOR TEN SECONDS AND PASS ME THAT KNIFE JESUS FRICK FRACKâ au
âso we bumped into each other in the dorm hallway and some how i picked up your dvd full of porn and you picked up my favorite romcom, so this an awkward exchangeâ au
âwe just spent 20 minutes fighting over whether or not advanced algebra is important to know in society, in french classâ au
âhow am i supposed to be a good new roommate and not act annoyed when you buy store brand greek yogurt what are you a savageâ au
âi want to blame my young child from accidentally breaking your window with a baseball, but it actually was in fact me, and i was aiming for your roof i am sorryâ au
âlisten i didnt mean to walk in on you trying on lingerie but i want you to know that is not your color, pls try this on instead, also if you have any other questions, im at the cashiers desk ok sor â oh my god pls put that back its our worst thingin this story, ok no im sorry im sorry im leaving pls dont be mad at meâ au
âsorry i accidentally time traveled from the future and ended up some how transported into your shower while you were actually showering, i apologize but your hair does smell niceâ au
âso i stole a car and you were asleep in it, still, oopsâ au
âim not telling you i found a baby dragon, but i found a baby dragon, and i cant just hide it in our shed so i need you to help me hide it, iâll trade you that potion youve been asking for this help, liKE LOOK HOW CUTEâ au
âmy kid might have stole your wallet/purse, and then spent the money in there on candy bars while i was checking out, im so sorry, let me buy you coffee to make it up for it?â au