boringsville

I wanted to write about how I feel living in Japan lately.

It's springtime now, but there are days when it feels like summer already. I even went out one late afternoon just wearing a shirt and pants (no multiple layers).

Now that my friends have gone home, I feel a little lonely not having people around who know me well. I have a lot of people I can spend time with, like my classmates, friends, and housemates, but our connection still feels shallow, so I can't fully be myself somehow.

But every day, I am grateful that I get to live in Japan. I never take for granted seeing the changing of seasons and the beautiful scenery that I used to only see in anime or Japanese media.

I've decided to create a separate blog (also on Tumblr) for the shenanigans here at my share house. Funny how it's always a place that inspires me to write. I have only been here for four days, but so many interesting things have already happened. I am still in a very uncomfortable adjustment period, and I really miss home A LOT.

Today was my last day as a library support volunteer.

Last year, I came home lamenting how much I’d miss spending time in a public library. Then in July this year, out of nowhere, the local place announced it was taking on its first batch of volunteers. I almost didn't apply, lol.

But volunteering turned out to be one of the best things I did this year. I picked a shift that hardly had any visitors, so most days it felt like I had the whole library to myself ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)✨ Sometimes one or two people would wander in, but otherwise it was just me and books and manhwa to devour ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰᵃʰᵃ

I finished reading More Days at the Morisaki Bookshop this afternoon. I cried way more than what was normal for me. I struggled with the first book, Days at the Morisaki Bookshop, because I was so annoyed at Takako and Momoko, but they really carried the story in this one.

On another note, I'm quite an emotional person but I have a friend who takes the crown in this category. She just went wacko on me that I almost turned into a ghost (again) this week. I just reactivated my instagram (again), but I almost deleted it because I couldn't wait a week to disappear (again).

My account was saved by this book. While reading the last chapters, I remembered the quote I saved on Pinterest about everyone wanting unconditional love while carrying a bag full of conditions. I may not have been wacko to my friend, but I was definitely wacko and clingy to other people in the past. I remember hating myself for being so uncontrollably emotional that it became unbearable for the other party.

I invest in friendships where care flows both ways (!!!), built on honesty and mutual respect.

I care deeply, but I protect my energy. I support without overanalysing or over‑investing.

I nurture friendships through simple, affordable joys.

I treat my time as my most valuable resource, limiting scrolling and prioritising energising connections.

I notice how social media and friendships affect my mood, and I recalibrate when I feel drained.

I decide what parts of my life are public and keep the rest private, guarding my boundaries.

I share and connect in ways that reflect my true self, not trends or external pressure.

Every post has a clear intention, to update, celebrate, reflect, or inform, never just noise.

My worth isn’t measured by likes or attention. I share because it feels authentic, not for approval.

“Where I felt most like myself”

I have a deep and serious answer for this, but I think this is just as valid… and important… ( ◡̀_◡́)

“Unseen care” I really appreciated it whenever my friend brought me with him to school. We didn’t do anything particularly fun or interesting (at least by how people usually define fun or interesting), but it was a core memory for me just to hang out there. We usually read, exchanged foreign vocabulary (him teaching me Japanese, me teaching him English and Filipino), ate, took naps, or just sat in silence.

One of the things I really wish we had in my country is a nice public or university library like this. I also loved hanging out at the school library when I was still in college, but it was a very small one, and we weren’t even allowed to doze off there.

So when I’m back home, I usually just buy secondhand books or digital copies whenever I want to read something that isn’t in my dad’s library. Instead of a library, I just read at home if it’s too hot, or anywhere I have to wait—at the bank, at a cafe while waiting for a friend to arrive, at the dentist, or even in traffic. Especially in traffic, lol.

I recently read Counterfeits by Kirstin Chen. And I’m trying to finish The Only Gaijin in the Village, which had a strong start but got annoying and dragging after a few chapters… but it’s teaching me a lot about patience and perseverance, lol.

“What greeted me today”

I used to get up at 5am. But these days since coming home from Japan, even though I still wake up around 5, I don't get up until 7 or 8. By default, I'm pretty routinary. There's not a lot I can control in this world so I do love getting my routine in order. But that kind of changed a bit when I started working from home. I allowed myself to take breaks whenever I felt like it, pulled all-nighters to finish an anime, manga, or kdrama, and even did the laundry past midnight, lol. My family was slow to catch on this change that one time, when I slept until 10am, my two sisters-in-law were worried that I might be dead, hahaha.

Anyways, this morning around 7, I got up to the relentless barking of our dog, Chuppy. I followed the sound of the commotion and found him in front of my parents' room, demanding to be let in. I was annoyed but I opened the door anyway. I was still sleepy so I went back to bed and did one Duolingo lesson to keep my 400+ days streak going. I didn't notice that I drifted off again after that.