AAAAaaaa

Alright, fine, while I can't keep him if I was going to keep one it would have to be Ruckus. He's the mellowest and quietest of the pups, and aside from his sister the one who is most desperate to interact with me.

it will always choose you. you cannot die. you'll always come back because it loves you so much. you are its right and left hand, its eternal weapon. it will drown you in its light. light as horror. darkness as horror. what if it thinks you are its best friend.

Kara feeling no connection to earth and trying to create a sense of familiarity and comfort by recalling everything she could about Krypton. It doesn’t help. It just makes her homesick.

She tries to show them to Clark but seeing him so disconnected from all of it makes her want to puke so she just keeps dropping the notes in his room and ignores him when he approaches her about it.

Kara feeling every single gap in her memory like missing a limb. Slowly stopping her recollections cause she finds more gaps than memories and that makes her want to destroy something. So she doesn’t try to preserve memories anymore.

Her notes weren’t even that good most of the time. She cannot draw that well and so her recollection of clothes and people and architecture and plants weren’t that great.

She keeps writing in kryptonian sometimes to make sure she doesn’t forget how to, but she stops desperately trying to remember stuff. It just makes her sad.

Years down the line, after having healed some more, she talks with her cousin about it. Telling him that she isn’t sure if stopping her notes was right, cause while it was hurting her, it helped keep the memories alive. Now she feels like the details keep slipping away more and more and she wishes she had kept better records.

Clark leads her into a section of the fortress that she never paid any attention to. There they find a little library, filled with Kara’s old notes, sorted and preserved. But that isn’t everything. Clark expanded the memories with his own thoughts, pictures of similar things from around the world, memories of the kryptonians from other species he found and notes on everything Kara talked to him about over the years after she had stopped taking notes.