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Forgot my brother is my first opp and him spending the weekend here wasn’t as healing as I thought it’d be! Woopsies!

Silly me for thinking otherwise!

Almost spent the weekend without an argument/explosion but here we are

I proceeded to not tell him and instead mention how i could have spent the rest of my life chasing the love i lacked from him and my mother but i chose not to and i had to be proud of myself

He said he was proud of me for graduating and brags about me

I asked why he never visited me in college then

Why he never showed up

i love that they invite me to things and make me feel included effortlessly

i love that i can invite people without getting too nervous or scared anymore

i love that loving and enjoying the presence of people feels so effortless and easy and that i have always had this love to give, love to share, and it's being appreciated and reciprocated

additionally

First was like “ OK tap my phone and hold” and then his friend was like “ wait me too!!”

Adorable

I’ve never met this kid before

And he walked straight up to me and holds my hand and kinda falls into my side

We let him back to his room so he could drink water and go back to sleep

And I think that tiny, precious hand confirmed that I really do want children one day. I felt this immediate need to protect him and make sure he was okay and it was really really reassuring??

Also if only high school me could see me now