You Got Me Bad

b - body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

changbin likes several parts of his body. he works hard and he’s proud of his progress, and honestly… what’s not to like? his back, pecs, and arms are probably what he’s most proud of though. especially his arms. to him, they just make him more useful. they make him more useful, and you swoon over them. he gets that proud, downturned smile on his face whenever you feel up his arms and he loves to flex them for you.

his favorite body part on you is your hands. your sweet, sweet hands <3 they touch him gently and soothe him when he needs it most. they hold him and his heart with care. there’s also just something so sexy about the way they look on his body. or on your body. if we’re talking more sexual though, he loves your ass. he’s an ass man.

c- cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

let him cum inside you and he’s a goner. when you’re in the talking stage of your relationship, like maybe before you’ve even kissed, he’s jerking off and thinking about cumming inside of you. he can’t help it! he respects you and doesn’t want to take things too quickly, but god, he likes you so fucking much he wants to show you just how much! he dreams of cumming inside ur little hole and watching it leak out.

when you actually start having sex though… yeah, begging for him to cum inside is a very quick and effective way to get him to nut. of course it gets him so hot to cum on you, but there’s something so special about you letting him cum inside.

speaking of cumming on you. one of bin’s biggest weaknesses is cumming on your face after you blow him. he won’t say it! he’ll never even ask for it, but you can just tell how much he likes it. he’s too much of a gentleman, even after dating for years, to ever ask to cum on your face. you taking the initiative to pull his cock from your mouth and jerk him off until he cums all over your pretty lips and cheeks and nose gets him all fuzzy brained and light headed. it makes him all sappy after too lmao.

d - dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i’ve written about this here, and i still stand by it!

e - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think he knows his way around. i know in school he was very well liked, and now he’s our social butterfly idol, so! yeah. i also think that even if that doesn’t necessarily mean anything, he’s very dedicated to learning his way around your body and how to please you. so like… the dedication leads to experience, if that makes sense.

f - favorite position (this goes without saying)

i think bin likes The Classics tbh.

missionary so he can look into your eyes and hold you. oh how he loves when you wrap your legs and arms around him! he’ll get his arms under you so he can hold you too. he loves being pressed tight to you and feeling your breasts against his chest. it’s intimate, and god does he eat that up.

doggy so he can see your ass… pop it whenever he wants and maybe slip a finger into ur little asshole that he loves so much! he’s in awe of the way ur ass ripples whenever he fucks into you. oh! he really likes when you fuck yourself on him too. he’d be so fucking sexy kneeling on the bad with his hands on his hips or feeling the arch of your back, just watching you fuck yourself on him 😵‍💫

cowgirl so he can watch you work your magic and cop a feel of your pretty tits! he likes to sit up while you ride him so your tits can bounce in his face. it’s easier for him to get his warm little mouth on your nipples that way too!

g - goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i think it depends really! he’s a goofy guy and he loves to make you laugh, so i don’t really think that excludes sex. if he’s not super fucked out and he makes a funny noise… he’s giggling about it. “yeobo, did you hear that?! wah, seo changbin, that noise…” he always wants to have fun with you and for you to feel free with him, so yeah, he’s happy to be silly and goofy sometimes during sex.

i do think though that he can be very serious when it comes down to it. he wants to make you feel good first and foremost; he’s very serious about that.

h - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i don’t think it’s anything unruly, but he does keep some hair because it makes him feel Sexy and Manly.

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so so so intimate! he craves intimacy. he’s basically a big ole teddy bear, and he prefers intimate sex to anything wild and kinky. sex can for sure be both at once, but u know what i mean. bin is more practical and doesn’t much opt for the like… rose petals on the bed, candles lit aspect of romantic sex. he prefers to show you with his words and actions. like how he holds you, the eye contact, whispering against your lips, mushy gushy stuff like that <3

j - jack off (masturbation headcanon)

changbin’s favorite way to jerk off is with a fleshlight. i’ve gone into detail on this before but am too lazy to go and find it, but yes! that’s his go-to. if he can’t have your pussy, that’s the next best thing and he prefers it to his hands. he likes the clear ones because it makes his stomach swoop whenever he watches his cock fuck in and out of it <3 he also uses a heaping help of lube! he loves it sloppy, and the more it sounds and feels like your sweet pussy the better.

a little more embarrassing in his mind, but he also likes to get off by grinding on stuff. a pillow, a plushie, a fuzzy blanket, the corner of his mattress… yep! it makes him feel a little naughty and desperate, and that feeling turns him on sooo much. ohhh and he loves to rub over his hole when he humps his cock against something. he’ll keep his fingers still and let the movement from his hips rub his hole against his fingers <3

k - kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise - arguably changbin’s biggest kink on the planet. he lives for your praise and works very hard in every aspect of his life to receive it. especially in the bedroom! he fucks the way he does because he’s desperate for your praise. call him a good boy, tell him how good his cock makes you feel, how much you love his soft little tongue, how sexy he is when he cums… ohhh yeah. praise gets him slutty and makes him looser, as in like… he’ll pretty much do anything for it. he’ll embarrass himself as long as you call him your pretty bunny when he’s done.

humiliation/degradation - kind of contradictory to the praise, but bin really gets off on this too! especially if it leads to praise in the end. i always say changbin likes to feel slutty, and humiliation and degradation get him there sooo quickly. you being mean to him makes his cock so hard. “there’s no way this little thing can make me cum.” “you came already? oh wow, that’s embarrassing.” it’ll get him all whiny and snively and sooo red! how cute.

subbing - changbin’s favorite bedroom role in the world. something about being so capable out in every day life, so responsible and dependable to everyone around him, and then letting all of that go with you in the bedroom is really special to him. the strength aspect of it too he thinks is really fucking hot. like, if you push him onto his back and hold him down? he absolutely can break free of your grasp, but he doesn’t want to. he’s pliant and docile and sweet.

l - location (favorite places to do the do)

the bedroom. point blank period. you’re both most at ease there, and it’s comfy. he wants to fuck you in bed.

m - motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you in your element turns him on. you being confident at something makes him so proud but also gets him hot. like, if you’re a dancer and you have a recital, if you have to give a speech at a conference, even something simple as seeing you knowledgeable in things you like. changbin really likes that.

i’ve said this before too, but something about him really screams to me that he likes a little spitfire. changbin likes you with an attitude and a sassy mouth, it gets him going and he thinks it’s hot. you talking your shit and being able to back it up. talking the talk and walking the walk. you know.

n - no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

changbin is constantly aware of his strength, and he always wants to treat you gently. anything that’s focused on pain changbin is very wary of. he’ll slap your ass, but even then it’s never very rough or with his full strength. bin is also a super private person, so anything to do with exhibitionism or sharing is a no from him.

o - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

changbin is unbelievably skilled with his mouth. he eats pussy like it’s going out of style and eats ass the same damn way. we know how fast of a rapper he is, so that tongue is deadly. he can make you cum ridiculously fast and he knows it, but he prefers to get you there slowly and take his time. he loves the smell and taste of pussy, and he eats it for his pleasure too. nothing boosts his ego like hearing you whimper his name and clench your thighs around his head when he makes you cum on his tongue <3

listen, he sucks dick too! strap or otherwise, he likes having his mouth full. he gags easily and it’s difficult for him to really throat you, but he doesn’t have to to make it good. he’s enthusiastic and dedicated with it and he’s hot as hell while he does it. he’s got plump little dolly lips and they look so, so pretty stretched around a cock!

changbin absolutely loves a blowjob. i mean loves. he’ll never say no to it. he doesn’t necessarily prefer receiving head to giving it, but damn does he love it. make it sloppy sloppy sloppy! gag on him and moan around his cock, oh, and touch yourself while you do it!

p - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends on how you want it! he can do it all. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again and again, changbin has the best stroke game in skz. he can jackhammer ur shit if that’s what the mood calls for, but he can also give it to you slow and hard. i think that’s how he likes it best… slow and deep and hard all while he looks into your eyes and whispers how much he loves you.

q - quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

nope. okay, sometimes it’s as good as he’ll get, but he isn’t really a fan of them. he prefers to have you in a bed where both of you can take your time loving on each other, but he will absolutely take what he can get. if it’s a rushed blowjob backstage or fingering you under your panties before you leave for work because he woke up late, he’ll do it. but he will complain about it lmao and make sure you know you’ll be continuing later!

r - risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

for experimenting, yes absolutely. changbin loves you and really craves the intimacy and excitement of trying new things together. he’s over the moon whenever you suggest something you want to try with him, and he will try most things at least once, even if he doesn’t necessarily think he’ll be crazy into it (like, as long as it’s not a no for him he’ll try it if you think you might like it).

s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think changbin’s stamina is off the wall good. he’s a performer, he’s got dancer stamina. that, and the gym really helps too! so yeah, he can rock your world for as long as you need him to, baby. even if he cums quick, he’s got other means to make you feel good too. those thick fingers and that skilled mouth… even his muscular thighs. to be honest he’s very willing to push himself into overstimulation to get you there, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.

t - toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

bin is a big fan of toys! they make sex fun, so he’d like for both of you to have them.

for you, the possibilities are endless. he loves to give you pleasure, so whatever it is you want… he will happily use them on you. or watch you use them. shoot, he’d buy them for you! you’ve gotta have a wand. he thinks that’s so hot, and he loves to press the wand to your clit when he fucks you. he’d buy you the prettiest dildos too. he’s very fond of those pretty glass ones with flowers or glitter or hearts inside. oh, and those heart jeweled buttplugs! and obviously… a pretty big strap collection.

for himself, he can’t go wrong with his trusty fleshlight. he uses it religiously to be honest, even takes it with him on tour. he has a dildo too, but he doesn’t use it as frequently at the dorms because he gets loud when he uses it. bin doesn’t have too many toys at the dorm, much prefers for his naughtier toys be kept safe with you so you can use them on him. he’d absolutely die if one of the members saw his bunny tail plug and lop ear clips!

u - unfair (how much they like to tease)

nope, he can’t. he’ll try if it’s something you want, but changbin will never go out of his way to be unfair to you. he wants you to please you too damn bad to ever edge you or tease you like that. changbin is more desperate for you to cum than you are to cum.

he likes when you’re unfair to him though <3

v - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

oh he’s loud. he can’t even help it, it just happens. his noises might embarrass him a bit if he takes notice of them through the haze in his brain, but well, he’s letting you know you make him feel good!

he grunts and groans of course, you know how gritty and raspy his voice can be. but… mainly i think he’s a whiner. his voice goes high pitched and a little airy when he’s feeling real good!

w - wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

changbin is like 90% sub leaning, but the other 10% is crazy good at domming. when that’s the case though, he’s a pleasure dom. as i stated in u, he’s so desperate for you to cum. he prefers to spoil and pamper you, and he’s oh so good at it. changbin doesn’t like to give punishments either, but he can be stern when it’s needed. he’d be so yummy <3

sometimes though, he’s so pleasure and service oriented that the lines between dom & sub are blurred. there doesn’t have to be roles during sex at all obviously, but do u know what i mean? is he domming you like that because he feels dominant in this particular instance, or is it because you told him to and he followed your orders LMAO. subby dom… yeah.

he can switch rolls easily though, so he can go right back into that submissive role he loves so much very quickly. if he’s fucking your shit up and you call him a good boy? something like that gets to him sooo quickly.

x - x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

you guys know…. u guys know! y’all know i am the founder of the acronym and a dedicated advocate for cccc™️ coke can cock changbin <3 so yes. thick thick thick. thick and short! like 3-4 inches. i think he’d be circumcised buuut something about bin having an uncut cock makes me drool, so. he’s got a heavy set of balls too to match that thick cock! and like i said in the h section, he keeps some hair because it makes him feel Manly

y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i am under the impression that changbin will fuck you any chance he gets. he’s a busy bee and doesn’t have as much time with you as he wants, so a lot of his free time or nights alone are spent fantasizing about you and the things you could get up to together. so yeah, he’ll fuck you as often as he can. he wants you all the time.

z - zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It was never an issue when chan comes home late. You know it was always for good. Working on a new beat for stray kids or plain old filing. It never crossed your mind that he never loved you. You know he did, but seeing him only in the morning and sometimes in the night upset you a little bit. Of course you saw him on days off, and he tried to spend most of his free time with you or on the phone with you.

You had your needs to. So when you got a little drunk one evening with Chan, you spilled how you wouldn't mind him fucking you in your sleep. He just stares, you laugh it off but he couldn't help but think about it.

The next time he sees you, he sits you down and have a formal conversation about it. He decided for a signal: a pendant bracelet. One you never really wore but still thought was pretty.

So when he comes home at ungodly hours at night and sees you wearing the bracelet, he sits on the bed, your back against his legs. You were sleeping on your side, small shorts and a T-shirt. Jostling as he moves on the bed.

He moves his hands all around your body, groping your ass seeing if that would wake you.

It didn't.

It seemed like he had free reign. Letting him do whatever he wants to you. His rough fingers touch and open skin he could reach, his calloused fingers against your soft skin made him want to take you more.

He pulls down his pants, stroking himself until he's fully hard before pulling down your sleep shorts.

"no underwear, you're such a slut " he whispers, running his index finger down your folds.

He grabs his cock, running it up and down your cunt. Tip catching your hole. He used his other hand to wrap your legs around his.

You mumble something in your sleep, pushing him to the edge. He didn't want to hurt you, deciding to ease into you.

When he bottoms out, any self control he had is gone.

"So good for me. Such a good baby for me right?" He picks up his pace, quiet room being filled with obscene noises. Hips meeting your thighs making that lewd clapping sound.

Sleep still in your body, you felt something, wet in between your legs. You tried to sit up but you couldn't. Something was obstructing your movements, specifically your legs.

Thinking it was a nightmare, you try to pinch yourself,  which failed making yourself more awake. As you gain back consciousness you grasp the situation.

"Did I wake my pretty girl up? Oh im sorry" chan sucks on your back, moving towards your neck.

The pleasure was overwhelming you. Just waking up not knowing what was going on heightened your senses.

Every thrust he did sent sparks up your spine, trying to grip on to anything around you.

"s-shit baby you're gonna make me cum" his hips stutter as you meet his halfway. "G'na make me cum, f-fuck" his hips still before releasing his seed inside you.

You whine, grabbing his forearms trying to get his attention.

"You wanna cum?" He chuckles at you, in an almost sadistic way.

"yes- please?" The way you were asking made it impossible for him to deny you.

His hips start moving again, cunt clenching from the pleasure.

"How am I supposed to fuck you if you keep clenching baby?" he asked, rutting his hips into yours instead.

"I-  shit sorry m'sorry" tears were lining your eyes, his cock was hitting that certain spot in you, making you shake.

"Cumming, please let me cum"

"Go ahead, cum for me."

It's like his voice was the thing you needed to cum, clenching down on him hard before releasing.

It was pathetic, really. You were just in the other room, watching some random show while Minho was lying flat on your bed with your underwear wrapped around his cock.

The pleasure was overwhelming. Stomach sinking in everytime he stroked himself.

As soon as he got home from work, he made a b-line straight to your shared  room. You found it strange yes, but maybe practice didn't go well that day. You get it, it can be stressful.So you opted into leaving him be for a while.

It was getting late and you decided to order food, not knowing if minho was awake. You decided to go to him. You knocked once, twice, before opening the door.

The sight had you shocked, not to say the least. You thought he was sleeping or maybe silently scrolling on his phone.

Minho instead, had his hand down on his cock with your underwear rubbing his tip accordingly.

You saw him pocket your underwear a couple of times, once after he found them on his bed while cleaning another after a while quickie. You also noticed a couple pairs going missing every once in a while.

Did you suspect him? Of course not. Garments like that are easy to loose, like socks. So you never questioned him.

When he notices you walked in, he looks at you and smiles. He turns his head back and starts stroking his cock even faster.

You start slowly walking towards him, closing the door behind you. The food long forgotten.

As you make it to the bed, you decided to situate yourself right besides him. Your hand rests lightly on his right thigh.

"Isn't this something?" You ask while rubbing your hand over the article wrapped around his tip. You see his back arch up a little before going back down.

"You like this don't you." he argues back, knowing you also put up a fight.

You guys never had rules about "not cumming". You thought it didn't matter, but maybe it did.

"Touch yourself again." He didn't realize his hand stopped moving until you told him to start stroking himself again.

He looks directly into your eyes while giving himself languid strokes.

Up and down, up and down. It was mesmerizing. You wanted him to wither away on your bed. Choking out sobs, begging you to let him cum.

"You were the ones stealing this, hm?" you broke the silence, asking the question while slapping the underwear on him.

He gasps before returning to his original demeanor.

"You didn't notice, baby" the nickname was tantalizing. Showing you he still had the upper hand. Though that wasn't apart of your 'plan' you wouldn't mind changing it up for your minho.

"Stop" you grab his wrist halting his movements.

"Let me go." No other emotions laced in his voice except desperation.

"You could easily remove my hand, you have been going to the gym more, no? Or are you just a little kitten? Can't do anything without his owner instructing him too." You don't know where that came from, the shock on his face was mimicking the one you felt internally.

He's the one who always called you kitten or referred to himself as your owner. He was the one who told you to stop, edging yourself for hours on end.

He fell silent, any sign of fight gone. He goes limp in your hold. Breath rigid. Cock head leaking pre-cum.

You rub your thumb over his slit causing him to moan. Moving the cum all around his cock, acting a lubricant.

"You liked that? Liked when you're dumbed down to nothing but a little whore? An insatiable little whore who always needs to cum?" He whines. Grabbing your wrist and moving it around on his cock.

"Please, s-shit. I needa cum." His voice was breaking, slight pants leaving his soft lips. Sweat was starting to bead against his forehead and neck.

"You wanna come?"

"yesyesyes, please I'm begging you."

You thought about it for a while, pondering some thoughts in your head.

"Okay then, you have to come in 10 seconds." You smile at his look on his face. The looked saying that he's fucked.

Ten.

He tried continuing with his original method after you came in, using your hand but it wasn't working.

Nine.

He started using his hand only, rubbing up and down at a fast pace. Moans slipping out of his mouth.

Eight.

When that wasn't working either, he tried two hands.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

As you were counting down, you were rubbing his thighs and stomach. Taunting him as a punishment.

When you reached four, he spit on his hands, running his thumb only over his tip.

Three.

He tried everything he could think of, but nothing was working.

Two.

He tried using both hands, desperate to cum within the time limit.

One.

But when you say one and you tell him to stop once again, he starts to tear up. Tears of frustration.

"Aww, too bad you didn't get to cum." You give him a kiss before lying on the bed next to him.

He sits up, shaking your thigh. "Baby please, I didn't get to cum" his voice weakening with every word.

"How sad. Go take a cold shower." You shut him up, wrapping your hands around his while closing your eyes.

"I fucking hate you"

chan- the second he finds out about your next appointment, he schedules to be off work and this happens EVERY time. he just has to be with you. he can’t even imagine you being all alone to deal with this yourself (even if you have before), he doesn’t want you to ever have to. before the appointment, he listens intently to all it entails so that he can prepare the best for you. the amount of time it takes doesn’t bother him at all. he packs a clean blanket, snacks, a sandwich, water/electrolytes, a hoodie of his, his laptop to catch up on the show y’all are watching. the man is over prepared and he’s perfectly fine with that. his hand is in yours the entire time unless the medications knock you out, then he’s perfectly content to work on some beats on his laptop. chris is your rock.

lee know- minho has found a way to be at every appointment with you. he even went on a temporary hiatus because your health has been such a problem. all of your symptoms were so concerning and holding your hand at the appointment where you finally got your diagnosis was bittersweet. on the one hand, it was a relief to finally have a name to all those symptoms you had and that you weren’t going crazy. you spent so many nights crying in pain and confusion that it seemed like your body was turning on your and minho held you every time, even crying with you a few nights. on the other hand, hearing there was no cure and this would be a long, marathon to the eventual end of your life was so daunting but minho assured you every time that you haven’t been and would never be alone. so while you took a shuttle for your first hospital stay and treatment, minho went back to your shared apartment to get everything you would need for the stay. the ride was anything but quiet or leisurely. minho was pissed. why you of all people? you’re the most precious thing in the universe and now you had to deal with this? for the rest of your life? the brunette screamed, cried, beat the steering wheel, needing to get out his anger and frustration so that he could be the best for you, and of course he was. as soon as he was back at the hospital, they started treatment and he didn’t let go of your hand or your side for a second.

changbin- anxious didn’t even begin to cover it. it didn’t matter how many times you reassured him that it wasn’t a big deal and that you’ve done this before, he was still a mess. not to mention he was a MENACE to the nurses, asking what everything was for and how long it would take, the process of everything, and how it should effect you. once your treatment started, you got to see everything he brought with him in a literal duffle bag. a heated, massager eye mask, snacks for a whole week, kimchi and rice his mom made, blankets and pillows, slippers. this man truly brought everything. also he had called ahead of time to make sure you had a private pod to make sure you weren’t disturbed by anyone but your nurse. he’s insane but you wouldn’t have it any other way. he was your binnie and he wanted to make sure you had the absolute best care. what’s funny is after a few treatments with you, he knows exactly what to expect and seems so cocky about everything. “you sure that the right pre-treatment medication? we used x last time.”

hyunjin- unfortunately, hyunjin is squeamish when it comes to needles. he’s tried before and each time you’re the one supporting him through it. he decided that he was better off supporting you through facetime which worked out because he had to work but the boys didn’t mind also keeping you company. even when the meds inevitably knocked you out, hyunjin admired your tired features to still be there with you while waiting for his turn to record. which was fine until you woke up to seungmin staring at you. “you snore.” the real support came after you were sent home. it can be a little rough in the days after treatment and hyunjin finally got his chance to shine. chan let him go home early so he could pick you up from the treatment center as soon as the nurse said they were wrapping up. he helped you out to the car and then up to your apartment to help you get clean and in bed. he made sure to cook or get only the foods that didn’t make you anymore nauseous and he forced you back into bed when the steroids kicked in, giving you more energy that you would ultimately pay for later if you used it. his favorite thing was just cuddling with you and watching your favorite shows, jumping at the chance to help any way he could.

han- jisung did everything he could to be there, as he usually was, but the comeback was important and he just couldn’t get out of dance practice and recording. he was antsy all day, his knee is a perpetual state of motion. normally this would bug minho and he would jab his rib cage for him to stop but he refrained out of compassion for his friend. jisung was constantly checking his phone and texting you, checking in on you or encouraging you through the lengthy, grueling treatment with promises of giving you all the cuddles and kisses you could stand when it was over. though you’ve managed on your own before, you missed him being there and holding his hand through everything. jisung was your rock and he intended to continue being that for you the very second he heard from chan that he could go for the day. it was very late when he finally arrived at your shared flat and he found you curled up under a mountain of blankets, no doubt exhausted from the day. he offered a sympathetic pout to no one in particular before crawling into the bed next to you, pulling you into his arms and kissing your temple gently.

felix- he’s honestly the best person in the whole world to bring with you. felix is sunshine and positivity but he’s also extremely lowkey about everything. he knows that your probably stressed enough as it is so he just wants to be a good support for you. so, he just brings his laptop, some snacks, water, and his hoodie; just a few basics to keep you comfortable. then the two of you sit and watch asmr or your comfort show to keep pass the time. every time you look over at him he just smiles wide and kisses your temple. your hand is his the whole time and he rubs soothing circles onto the back of it. when you both get home, the apartment is fully stocked with all your favorite foods and post treatment pain meds, the sheets on your bed are fresh and clean, and he’s ready to support you any way he can until you’re back on your feet again. “angel” is an understatement.

seungmin- he’s so weirdly fascinated by everything, starting with your diagnosis. as soon as you told him, he wanted to do a deep dive on what it was, how it effected you, and what the treatment was that you needed. by the time you arrived to the center, he was telling you everything the nurse was doing (like you didn’t already know). it would have been so annoying if he wasn’t so incredibly cute. even though he was flexing his knowledge the whole time, he was still supporting you in other ways. learning about the treatment, made it easy for him to know what to expect so he was well prepared. when the nurse first prepared the infusion sight, he pulled you into his chest to have you look away from the needle. he told you a funny story about the boys when they took your blood pressure to keep it low and a few hours in, your stomach started growling and he pulled out a snack he had minho make and some water. he really thought of everything he could and you were so grateful for him.

Changbin had never been embarrassed about masturbating. 

He knew that he felt pent up from time to time from stress and work and life in general-from what little life he did have. From having to deal with Han and Chan, because while he did love them, putting up with them wasn't the easiest feat, though he'd never tell them that.

His life was busy and things were frustrating, so much so he’d have to restrain himself from doing things he’d actually regret.

Like smashing Chan’s laptop when he stopped listening to all reason, locking himself in his room for days on end without getting any sleep, food or water. His self-destructive tendencies doing shit for the group and even worse for his own mental state.

Or like shouting at Han when he was acting like a brat, stuck in his own ways, which would result in him crying every time. He'd grown a lot in the past few years but he was still stubborn as shit and too sensitive for his own good.

And as Changbin had realized, was that doing any of those things rarely ever helped the situation but only aided in getting his own frustrations out.

So he'd found that the natural way to get rid of those frustrations while also not doing something that he’d regret later on was to blow off steam in other ways. Take things into his own hands in other words. After all, a busy person such as himself wasn't about to go out and look for a good lay every so often.

Masturbating and self-pleasure wasn't unhealthy by any means, he knew that and he’d never really understood why it was such a stigmatized topic, but that was a whole conversation for another time.

The point was, he'd never felt ashamed to the fact that he needed some alone time every once in a while. 

Not until now. 

Standing in his local sex shop in front of a very large selection on the shelf, trying to decide between two sizes of dildos. He could get the bigger one or the smaller one. Money was no problem and he could buy both if he really wanted, but he'd really rather not have to figure out how to hide not one but two fake dicks in the dorms in which any of his snooping roommates could find at any time plus it felt a little excessive to have two dildos.

But it really wasn't this part that he was ashamed of. He was just dandy with the fact that he was standing here browsing the shelves of dildos, looking for one that he was going to use on himself later tonight. 

Changbin knew exactly what he was signing up for when he walked in here and he wasn't embarrassed about it at all. This wasn't his first time in a sex shop and he could honestly say that they were pretty chill for the most part.

It was his first time in this one though. He'd wanted to switch it up a little-he'd wanted to finally go to the one near his place, accepting the fact that he could potentially run into someone he knew here.

Good thing: There was no one that he knew here.

Bad thing: He couldn't help the pang in his chest, the flicker of something he wasn't quite ready to face inside him realizing that he seemed to be the only customer in the shop who was single. 

Everyone else wandering through here was with a partner. Linked arms while quietly discussing which items they wanted to purchase, stolen glances and small smiles.

Sexual tension was thick in the air in this store today. A lingering look and quick meaningful touches between everyone except for him.

The sting of jealousy he had for that guy currently standing next to him was bitter. Someone who was looking at the same collection Changbin was but he had a partner with him; who teased him, nudging at his side as she tauntingly asked which one he wanted.

He couldn’t help but feel just a bit envious that the guy blushed and his partner coo'd about how cute he looked, brushing a finger down his face before whispering something too quiet for Changbin to hear into his ear.

The fact that he was in a store full of couples looking at things to take care of each other with, while looking for things to use on himself.

Deep down, even though he tried to ignore it...it made him feel, oh what was the word? Lonely? Unwanted? Maybe just the tiniest bit pathetic-and not in the kind of way that he likes.

"If you pick one by the count of three, I'll use it on you in the car~"

He tried not to look at either of them as he grabbed the bigger of the two toys off the shelf, pushing past them and quickly making his way past them to the counter.

Fuck this place.

He dropped it on the counter without looking up.

He was going to go back to the dorms, where thankfully, for once in a blue moon all of his roommates were out. For the whole week actually, they wanted to go on a camping trip but Changbin was too busy for that. He had work, and going to the gym, and…well that was it, but it consumed a lot of time. Time he didn’t have to sleep on the hard ground on top of rocks and sticks and bugs in the forest. 

He normally liked camping and he felt bad to turn them down but he knew he needed this. A bit of alone time. There was no way he was going to give up the chance at being alone for a whole week while Chan, Hyunjin and Han were gone.

He was honestly just surprised that Hyunjin agreed to go with them.

Tonight he was going to forget all about this. About the want to be pounded by someone. A person. And not just his own hand and a toy. He was going to forget about the want to be teased and touched and loved by someone else. He was going to forget about all of that, throw on some porn and try out his new toy with the handy bottle of lube hidden in his nightstand.

"Cash or card?"

He rifles through his wallet for a few bills, "uh, cash please." he mutters, putting them in the counter as he counts, making sure he he’d taken out the right amount.

This would all be but a distant haze later tonight in his sex-addled brain. Nothing but a dream when he'd make himself cum over and over again to ensure he'd forget this.

“Don’t be rude. Look at me when you say that."

Changbin’s whole body froze, unmoving. He didn't even need look up to feel eyes burning into his skin.

"Don't make me repeat myself." He didn't know why he listened. It was just something. Something about the voice, firm in a way that he craved. Something coaxing and calming, rather than screaming at him to obey instead guiding him to it, making him want to listen.

Finally, his eyes managed to flick upward to the face the person talking to him. 

You smile pleasantly, so familiar yet unlike to the way you'd just spoken to him, in a way that makes him feel warm. You raise an eyebrow, gesturing for him to go on, the expression making his face heat up for some reason. "Good boy. And your payment?"

Wha-

What did you just say?

Did you just-?

He tries to recollect himself. Hopefully fix his jumbled thoughts before he embarrasses himself further, tries to find his voice, "I, uh..." all while you sit there, looking nothing but amused at this entire very un-amusing situation.

You hold back a laugh, eyes alight with mirth. "You paying with cash pretty boy?"

His mouth opens, then closes before he works himself up to a nod and manages to push the money across the counter to you.

What the hell was going on with him?

This time, you do laugh, throwing your head back like he had said something legitimately funny and not stumbled over his words like an idiot. 

"Sorry-sorry, I don't mean to laugh!" you don't sound very sorry, with the way that small giggles make way through the words. He can't help the way butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

You calm down and take the cash, putting it in the till, "Bag?" he still can't seem to bring himself to speak so he only nods. You notice but take effort not to start up again, putting the item into an inconspicuous bag and giving him his change. 

He pockets it, and that's it. 

He'll turn around and walk out of the store and never show his face in this place again, too mortified to see the very attractive sex shop employee that turned him on by just telling him to look at them. 

Too lonely to come to this weirdly couple-populated sex shop too.

God, he really needed to get laid. 

Maybe it was really time to give in and download one of those dating apps that Han kept suggesting. 

He wouldn't start anything serious. He didn't have time for that as mentioned before. He'd do it for nothing more than to meet a one night stand that would fuck his brains out and leave the very next morning. He was sure that wasn’t what Han intended when he’d suggested it, but it really wasn’t any of Han's business either way.

Changbin picked up the bag.

"What's your name pretty boy?"

You rest your chin in your palm, slouching against the counter and looking at him. You're taller than him normally but you’re the slightest bit shorter than him now and it makes him feel both nervous and excited.

"...Changbin."

"Hello Changbin, I'm Y/N." You reach a hand out to shake but he ignores it, preferring for you not to know exactly how sweaty his hands are at this very moment.

He doesn't know what to say next. Doesn't know what you were trying to do by asking for his name and introducing yourself. 

But he doesn't have to wait before you're glancing back down toward the bag that burns in his hand. "Ever used one before?"

Are you even allowed to ask that? Probably not. But he doesn't care.

"N-no...I, uh, figured that I'd try something new today. My roommates are out for the week.”

Okay and maybe it wasn't the best idea to inform you that he was going to be home alone and using a 9 inch dildo to masturbate tonight but he can't seem to hold his tongue back.

You take your sweet time to reply, letting him sweat for a good few seconds that he counts in his head as a slow smirk crawls across your face. "Adventurous." You now point at it. "and I'm, uh, guessing that you're using it on yourself, right?"

What were you suggesting right now?

“Uh-“

“I mean like, you’re not dating anyone right? Single?”

This must violate some kind of code of conduct about you working here. You should not be able to ask your customers this.

"Yeah." his voice sounds hollow, feels breathless. "Yeah I am."

Why is he even replying?

Meaningfully you scan him, watching him grow twitchy with nervousness. You then pull out a piece of paper from under the counter. Changbin stares at it as you messily scrawl some numbers onto it. When he looks back at you, you're already staring at him. "Listen pretty boy-"

"-Changbin."

Your face contorts into something unrecognizable that makes his stomach churn, in a good or bad way he can't tell, "Changbin. I’ve been working all day and I really don’t have the patience so I'm just gonna come out and say it.” You pause for emphasis, “I'm more than open to using that on you," you linger on the word, even though you don't really have to, you just like seeing the blush grow on his face. "If you don't want to, that's fine, don't feel pressured at all, but you seem to be wanting…someone in your life.” You glance back over to the couple, still looking at the dildos he had been.

Were you watching him? 

His heart pounds in his chest so loud he's afraid that you can hear it. His cheeks are flushed in mortification that he had been that transparent. That a stranger at a sex shop can see how desperately he needs to have his back blown out.

"So what do you say?"

Is it a good idea?...Yeah...probably not. 

“You don’t have to answer me now. Just,” you slide the paper across the counter and despite his best efforts to be in control of his body, Changbin grabs it, pocketing it all while you look smug. “give me a call if you would like to take me up on the offer.”

You glance at something over his shoulder and his eyes follow yours to the clock on the wall. He looks back right as you’re slinking to the back, through a rainbow wall of beaded curtains. “Hank!” You shout. “I’m going on my break, you’re on checkout!”

You glance backward one time, winking at him before disappearing into the back.